It's my bday officially 2.5 hrs ago and we already have begun arguing. What it seems to boil down to is trust and my lack thereof. Its hard to have blind trust in someone. We have been talking for a few months now. And we want to see eachtoher. It would be easier fir me to visit him since I am a US citizen. But there are a few logistics that need to get sorted first. Like telling my parents about falling for someone I met online miles and miles away on another continent. I guess worse case scenario is that they dont approve of the relationship. And that would make me feel shitty. Cause I respect their opinion. And I live under their roof still. I also am busy figuring out appying to grad school. I've been preparing since summer 2017 for this. And its finally time for my to apply this year and I still have to get all my ducks in a row so to speak. And there's a lot that needs to get done. So I have w lot of anxiety about that. But one of the biggest issues that I've been trying to tell myself isnt an issue but clearly is - is trust. I tell myself I trust him. But then my mind starts becoming 'up to no good' so to speak. And if he takes a little too long to answer when he is out with his friends, my mind starts to wonder what he is really doing. Or who he is really talking to. I know this is crazy and unhealthy to think like this. I might as well break up with him. Its doing me no good to think like this. And its not like he has given me a reason not to trust him. So why am I like this? And better question...how do I get over this hurdle so I can build trust in my partner? I dont want to have such a toxic way of thinking.
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Hope your birthday turned out happier that this post sounds!
Are you generally not a trusting person? Has this been an issue in other relationships? People can cheat as you lie next to them in bed. Being long distance doesn't mean you're more likely to cheat. If you're not able to let go and let him live his life when he has given you no reason not to trust him, you might want to focus on your trust issues. Talk to a professional, meditate, listen to music, read a book....find out what works for you. LDRs can't survive without mutual trust and respect, which I'm sure you already know
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Thank you for the bday wishes The weather was kinda crappy so I wasnt planning on doing much that day but I did have a good time with friends the Saturday and Fri before
I would say that generally I don't trust people until I can learn they are trust worthy. I dont think thats such a crazy way of thinking-especially in this day and age...
I haven't had much experience with other romantic relationships. But I think the added ling distance factor is what makes it difficult for me to trust. You're right. Anyone can cheat or lie even, even those who you may have been married to and known for years. Tis true. People will cheat if they want to. I do trust him and I dont think he is cheating but sometimes when situations present themselves and you are feeling lonely or neglected perhaps, your mind starts to wonder....this of course is not a healthy way of thinking and I need to stop it in it tracks as soon as my mind starts to go down that road of thinking. Yes I have read more of advice columns and forums on LDR's ever since getting into and even before that when I had just liked him and wondered if this is a feasible thing.
Thanks Autumn, appreciate the post
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