He lost feelings for me...

[Noona]

Hello guys,
3 days ago my SO told me, that already few days he feels confused about his feelings for me, that he doesn't like me as he used to and it feels empty. It started after the last argue we had and it had to hurt him, so I think it touched his feelings... I cried and felt horrible, my stomach is blocked and I can't eat. But the thing is that we are together every single day. We never were separated for more than 2 days. So I wrote him, if he doesn't want to try take some time and separate for few days to get fresh air into our relationship. There's a possibility that he feels a pressure from his problems and then me, also we may have cabin fever, am I right?

I think that his feelings might be just blocked by the disappointment from our last argue, that the love isn't gone. I experienced it many times and then it came back, sometimes even stronger. He is sad from it and wants the feelings back. Today is our first day of this challenge and I start to feel it bad, but I don't lose hopes...

Did you guys experience something similar? Did I do the right thing? May it really help if we take some time without each other? Is there a possibility that his feelings will come back?

[Mar939]

Hi noona,

I feel so sorry for you! Maybe you can set a kinda time trial like no contact for 2 weeks or longer and then see what he is feeling. Know that it will be a rough time but he have to promise that he will connect you after that time. Maybe he will text you after 2 days and say I do miss you a lot. I think you both need some space and time to discover what you really want. That is my opinion.

Stay strong

Mar

[Redheart14]

No contact will give you both some time and clarity to think about the situation. Best of luck.

[Lune]

Hey again.

It is sad to hear you could not come to a better point and the situation where your partner didn't reply for hours or show much interest. I know I suggested to get some distance and see how he reacts to it, but now this is already a new situation. We don't know how your argue was, yet I would say no single fight should be able to put a relationship on stake right away like this when there is nothing else going on. And with what you wrote in your other topic there is the miscommunication, putting priorities more on his hobbies and so on.
You did not meet personally yet, in a long distance there is already so much distance you have within the day without being able to go on a date or anything and you said there as well a longer pause will make you fear it will fade what it did now on his side and kind of was reflected then too in his behavior. A pause can help sometimes when someone feels not having much freedom anymore or so, in your case a talk about what you both want from a relationship and also the future would help more I guess. So you can also figure if your wishes and plans meet.
To the point that you could put pressure on him when he has other problems, he probably has to get clear about if he wants to share and solve them with you by his side or if he needs freedom for that and solve it by himself but saying that honestly then to be fair to you.

In the end only the both of you can try to choose and see where it all will lead to.

All the best,
Lune

[Noona]

Thank you guys... I wanted us to separate for 7-14 days, so we did, but after 2 days, when I already started to comfort myself from missing him, he wrote me it still didn't change anything. It awoke my sadness and we had a talk, so we have to start again with the pause. Although I think it won't help and it seems he thinks it too, I have hopes and try to believe that the time might help him to feel same about me again... I feel so lost.. No motivation in life, all of my dreams are lost, no luck with friends and then this... I guess no happy Valentine again

[Lune]

What you have to figure out is what you both expect from this pause and where the both of you see the cause of his lost feelings. If it really is the pressure you assumed, if you just have different plans and expectations of a relationship and the future of it and so on. Both of you don't seem to believe in it getting better through the pause so for now it sounds like when it goes on like this it will just frustrate you.

With your life, how was it before you met him? What did you do then in your free time, what are the dreams you have and had?