My fiance is in a very low place mentally right now, and has no support or insurance. Should I fly out and see him asap, even though I already have a flight booked for Christmas Eve? I am genuinely worried for his safety, but it would potentially cause financial issues for me to go away before then. I just don't want him to be alone, because I know how he feels and I want to help him.
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Do you know any of his friends you could call to go check up on him?
Has he tried a support help line? When you say it’ll cause financial issues, will it stop your Christmas visit? How high and dry will it leave you financially? If you have absolutely no one else you can ask closer to him then I’d go if it wasn’t going to leave me with nothing left money wise. You need to have some money I reserve in case you need it. Is there a way he can fly to you, if flights the other way are cheaper?
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No, there aren't any nearby friends.
Support lines are hit and miss, and I don't honestly know how much talking to a stranger will do for him if he did.
It wouldn't stop my Christmas visit in theory, depending on how long I went out there for. It will probably replace the whole thing.
If I'm out of state for more than 2 weeks, they stop my payments, but I should hopefully be able to get them restarted when I return, as long as I have my travel itinerary.
Depending on how much I take out with me, and how long I stay, I would have some money back home.
He can't fly to me as he doesn't have a passport. That's on the to do list for next year, but even then there's a few other things that would need to be sorted before that too.
The whole situation is a logistical nightmare from all angles, but I worry about him being alone and I do want to be there with him.Comment
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Are you worried he is at risk of self harm?
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Yes, although he says he won't. But I know the longer he's in a mood like that the more enticing it becomes, and I don't like the thought of him being on his own, even if nothing happens. Depression is lonely enough, but when you feel that way it's even worse.Comment
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Then go
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He doesn't want me to. It doesn't even sound like he wants me there for Christmas now either. I'm so sick of him pushing me away. I give up.
He seems morbidly content with his walls of excuses why me going there is not worth it, so I guess maybe I am not worth it either.
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Sometimes it’s easier to push people away then to address your issues. Maybe he’s feeling like this too.
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I think you should go too. If you have the means to do it, do what you gotta do. Sounds like he needs you a lot more now than in the near future.Comment
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I’d just fly out. Then let him know when you’re there. He wouldn’t just leave you at the airport. Sometimes just showing up helps even if they try to push you away.
What’s happened since your last post?
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