Never met

[Sophithebutterfly]

Hi guys, i came to this forum because i really need an advice. Im from Croatia and the guy im in love with is from USA. We met online over a game at end of 2017 but just been friends for couple of months before we started to develop feelings. In July 2018 i started to fall for him and since then we have been fully flirting and talking most of the times. Over the time we started planning to meet and we acted as if we were together. For almost a year and a half we havent met, he works alot and doesnt have a stable job, lots of things happend in his life like being sick or loosing his job, some debts to be paid and our meetings always had to be postponed. Me on the other hand is a student and i dont have the money to travel to meet him and im actually pretty scared to travel and come there first. We came to the point that i cant stand this distance and im pushing him away for the past 3 months. I distrusts him alot now and i feel heartbroken because of soo many missed meetings and promises we would meet. I know i shouldnt pressure him but thats all im doing because of distrust and fear that he doesnt mean it even tho he probably does but the circumstances are just awful. What should i do now? Im thinking of really ending it for good and i know im hurting us alot right now by being negative and hopeless ( and trust me i have been like this for the past 3 months) but on the other hand i feel like i will always regret not meeting him and giving us a chance. Is it worth waiting?

P. S. He is 8 years older than me. So we are in different stages of our life as well. Im an 23 year old girl.

[MsGrim]

Hello and welcome!

I think you should really ask yourself first if the relationship is worth it to you? If not, then I think you know what you need to do. But if so and you don't want to have any regrets then my advice would be to stay calm and patient with both the distance and your SO. Do you distrust him because you have spoken of meeting so many times and plans have fallen through? I am not familiar with an LDR where my SO is in a different country since mine is stateside, but from reading other posts on this forum I can tell that its difficult with many months in between each visit- which makes it hard to visit one another.

If you want to meet him before calling quits, have a serious conversation with him and let him know how you are feeling and how its affecting your relationship. Let him know that you would really like to meet him before any other plans are made. And when/if you do make plans again to meet, start the process to set them in stone- it doesn't have to be right away, can even be planned months in advance.

It sounds like both of you are not in the best position to make a visit right away, but if you really want to meet each other then you two will find a way.