Hello. So I'm currently really hurting. So I'm from Canada and my boyfriend is from the UK. He came and visited me in Canada back in 2018 and lived with me for 18 months. We were planning to do a common law sponsorship, but somewhere down the line he decided that he wanted to go home. He wanted to go home because he got tired of not being able to work. He was only here on a visitor thing because he couldn't get a work permit. So anyways on Oct.30 of this year I took him to the airport and he left. I'm very heartbroken about it and depressed. We were 2 months away from applying and then he would have been able to work here because he would have an open work permit. He says he may come back in 2 years but he doesn't know. I honestly feel like he isn't coming back. I hope I'm wrong and he does come back but just the way things are between us it feels like he is gone for good. Anyways I'm posting this because this is my first relationship in general and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. So I'm hoping there are people here who can help me get through this hard time.
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Hello, welcome to the forum. I am also new here, but I read your post and really wanted to reach out to you. I think everyone here has faced at least some challenges relating to LDR. You will definitely find support and advice, and it is a great place to vent when you need to. Sounds like a really hard situation you find yourself in atm. Did he leave with giving you a promise or an intention towards the future? How was your goodbye with him?"The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again".
-Charles Dickens
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My partner faced a similar situation in the UK when she was looking for work but had to go back to China when her visa expired. We sometimes won't message each other for a few days in between because I know she is busy with exams and finding a new job and I'll be working during the week so it's challenging to find a balance to talk to each other whilst being in different timezones. I understand how you feel, it can seem like you are trapped and don't know what to do to move the relationship forward, but things will always seem dark and hopeless before they get better. Focus on what you can do to move things forward, and before you know it, you guys will be back in each others arms. I'm not religious by any means, but having faith and belief in yourself despite all these current challenges will bring you back to the person you love. If you need to vent or cry about it, sing a long to a song about it, get that sadness, frustration, or feelings of hopelessness out of your system. You and everyone deserve love. Believe in your love and nurture it no matter what.Comment
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He said he will try to come back but the future is uncertain because nobody knows what will happen. Our goodbye was very emotional. We both were crying. He told me that he cried a lot during the trip home and it was awkward talking to the people at the airport since he was crying.Comment
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So far we have been talking everyday, but once we both are working I imagine it will be less. We made a promise to send at least a couple text everyday so that we both know that the other person is doing okay. But thank you for the kind words. I'm going to try my hardest to keep this relationship going with him. I've been trying to continue to work on our common law stuff and make back up plans and such just so we have options to be together. It's just currently hard to see the light since I'm in a dark place right now. But I hope everything works out for us since I have such strong feelings for him. It would be a significant loss if we don't end up together.Comment
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I'm afraid I have no advice except, keep communicating. Tell him how you feel. LDR's can feel so overwhelming and it's so easy to believe our own negative thoughts.
I feel for you xComment
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It's so hard I'm in the UK and my LDR bf is in Canada.we've spoke about plans but cause I have kids I can't just up and leave as much as I would jump at the chance to move over there. Have you tried to go over visit him see if you could apply for a short stay see how it goes...it is scary new places new people starting over only really knowing 1 person.but it's good you guys are still talking that's a good sign.but maybe a open honest talk find out if you're both on the same.page with future plansComment
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