IS MY LDR BF BURNED OUT?

[Hannah93]

Hell to everyone,
I would like to ask your opinion about my LDR.

We are in a long distance relationship since we met each other, 14 months ago.
Te first 7 months, was him, literally chasing me around the world. Due to my job I was living in Indonesia,(he visited me every month from AUS, and then he followed me back to Czech Republic for a month). This January I got a job in SL and he came for month to live with me, after that I supposed to finally meet him in AUS, but COVID happened, and I stucked alone is SL.

June, I finally got home, and my life was revolving around him. I was available to him, bcs I wanted. Time difference is 8h so it's not easy, but since August I noticed that he lost his excitement, intimicay, he was constantly tired and busy, never time to talk with me, and if we did we cut it short and I felt unwanted and lonely. Although our video calls, every week, were still a highlight for me and I hope for him tooo.

A month ago I brought up my issues ( BCS HE NEVER WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT, EVEN IF i WANTED TO) and he asked for a break, but he was still texting me here and there. Since then the communication got less and less and less.

On Friday, we had a video call and I asked him if would be better to end?(because we had the most weak week ever!!) and I told my feelings to him. AND! the answer was : everything is uncertain, he feels so distant, he cannot maintain this any longer and it feels like a second job,he can't be bothered to text me ( he works 10h a day) cannot meet my needs and would be better to end, bcs he has a life to live.

Since Friday, he sent me today some contents of his day(saturday), we supposed to talk it out, but he said it would be wiser tomorrow.(sunday)
But I am not sure if I want to talk with him. I think we both need a silent break. He hurts me so much, and he doesn't want to notice it.

What do you guys think?

P:S during this 7 month without seeing him, in the beginning he was the sweetest and most supportive guy!! And something just changed 2 months ago, although I gave him the same attention that I used to ...

Thank you for reading!

[vivid_idea]

Hi Hannah, oh gee long distance is hard, hey? I am so sorry you are going through this. The distance already makes it hard, but also feeling tossed around emotionally must be really unbearable for you. It sounds like you guys are very serious if he was flying to see you all around the world. I live in Australia, too, and it's a big commitment to get to anywhere from here!

COVID has changed everything for so many people and, unfortunately, us LDRers are really feeling the brunt of it. Many of us have had to have breaks in our relationships because it just gets too much. The good thing about having a break is it gives you the perspective you need to figure out what you truly want. Have you guys said that you love each other?

All the best to you, and reach out if you need because there are a lot of people here who know exactly what it feels like to be going through things like this.

[Hannah93]

Hi there! thank you for the reply.
no we never said we just told each other that we really like each other although he told me that I am the one but I guess something passed because he never apologized, like usually if we fight. and he was very serious about ending.
Never happened this before.

I give some silence days/weeks.

He didn’t reach me out since yesterday.
Let’s see!

[Timtam13]

Hey Hannah!

Im so happy and sad to read your story.
I feel bad for you that you’re in this situation... I feel exactly the same. I really can relate to your story.

Im together with my boyfriend for 12 months and now also away for 7 months... we live in Sydney and I went to my country for a family visit. Two weeks later corona came and I’m stuck here..

The first months that i was away things were fine! We were so creative to keep things good between us. Making allot of effort aswell from Both sides...

But now the last two months it feels like I’m the only one who is keeping more contact.

Also I’m stuck here in a small village and winter is coming...
He is in Sydney and summer is coming. Corona is not bad at all there and he is constantly doing fun stuff.. I feel like I’m left out!
But when he calls me he makes me fall in love with him Over en over again. And he says very sweet things and comfort me.

But I’m always the one who is waiting for his call and it’s always on his terms..

I think with your relationship is a bit the same with me... it’s very stable and once you(and me) reunite it’s going to be all fine again.

Sometimes I need to tell my self to not turn crazy and try to move on a bit.. work, focus on myself.
But ofcourse always keep in touch with eachother even if it’s one time a week?

When everything is over things will be good again...
Also I think woman in general need more attention then men.. hahaha
Maybe we need to back off a bit give them space... I don’t know I’m helpless aswell

Not really advise but hopefully things will get better hannah! X