I am in an international long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I had been together for about 4 months before we started it and now it's been almost three weeks since we got apart.
It seems like we have some communication issue. He doesn't really like talking on the phone and says maybe talking on Facetime once a week would be sufficient. For me it's too little to be honest and I wish I could talk with him every day or every other day at least. It doesn't have to be a long call every time because both of us work and it's just not realistic, but maybe a 5-10 minute call on a daily basis and a long call (2-3 hours?) on a weekend would be ideal for me.
Well, if our desirable rhythms do not match we have to adjust, but what I'm struggling with is the reason he dislikes Facetime. He says a virtual date is not a thing and talking online for say an hour is too much. For me it's almost the same as a physical date, so it is hard for me to understand what he says. Does anyone feel the same way? Especially in the current situation with COVID-19, I feel like communicating with people online has been quite normalized and I really don't understand how different an online date and a physical date are...
Another thing I am having trouble to understand is that he doesn't want to schedule a call. He always wants to randomly call. Because of the time difference it would be way easier to decide a schedule beforehand and it is also good to have something to look forward to in my opinion, but he can't do that because again an online date is not the same as a physical date which needs to be arranged beforehand and scheduling a call just feels weird.
To me it sounds like he can arrange a meeting when people actually gather at a meeting room but when it is an online meeting he suddenly cannot fix a date and time, which does not make sense.
He says "If you can't answer my call then I only have to call you later and vice versa." It would make sense for a daily short call, but I would like to fix schedule for weekend calls.
He also says "Unlike a physical date we don't have to travel when we talk online" but we have other things to do in our lives and it would be convenient to know our schedule beforehand in any case.
I don't think he's making excuses to not talk with me. But the way he sees all those online things is really hard to understand.
Do you think what he says is reasonable? Is there any advice to have him schedule things beforehand or do I just have to accept his way?
It seems like we have some communication issue. He doesn't really like talking on the phone and says maybe talking on Facetime once a week would be sufficient. For me it's too little to be honest and I wish I could talk with him every day or every other day at least. It doesn't have to be a long call every time because both of us work and it's just not realistic, but maybe a 5-10 minute call on a daily basis and a long call (2-3 hours?) on a weekend would be ideal for me.
Well, if our desirable rhythms do not match we have to adjust, but what I'm struggling with is the reason he dislikes Facetime. He says a virtual date is not a thing and talking online for say an hour is too much. For me it's almost the same as a physical date, so it is hard for me to understand what he says. Does anyone feel the same way? Especially in the current situation with COVID-19, I feel like communicating with people online has been quite normalized and I really don't understand how different an online date and a physical date are...
Another thing I am having trouble to understand is that he doesn't want to schedule a call. He always wants to randomly call. Because of the time difference it would be way easier to decide a schedule beforehand and it is also good to have something to look forward to in my opinion, but he can't do that because again an online date is not the same as a physical date which needs to be arranged beforehand and scheduling a call just feels weird.
To me it sounds like he can arrange a meeting when people actually gather at a meeting room but when it is an online meeting he suddenly cannot fix a date and time, which does not make sense.
He says "If you can't answer my call then I only have to call you later and vice versa." It would make sense for a daily short call, but I would like to fix schedule for weekend calls.
He also says "Unlike a physical date we don't have to travel when we talk online" but we have other things to do in our lives and it would be convenient to know our schedule beforehand in any case.
I don't think he's making excuses to not talk with me. But the way he sees all those online things is really hard to understand.
Do you think what he says is reasonable? Is there any advice to have him schedule things beforehand or do I just have to accept his way?
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