Old love now LDR

[Dusamoja]

When I was abroad 20 years, I dated A. for few months but then I moved back to Canada and for 20 years we stayed in touch. We both got married and divorced and both have a child. I saw him few times in the 20 years when we were both single and we always joked around that we will end up together.

Now 20 years later, we are both single and we both committed that we won't date other people and plan is for me to go see him next summer and spend about a month with him. My kid is usually with her grandma for a month during summer so we thought that would be a good time. ( if possible due to covid 19).

My concern is how would this even work. I live in Canada, he is in Europe (my hometown). He says he would move here but he also has a kid who is 14 and he is currently living with him full time. Like am I crazy to even consider this. He seems convinced that it would work. He also said I could move there and he would buy us a bigger apartment. But I can't do that because I don't want and can't take my daughter away from her dad.

Connection that we have is unreal, for 20 years we supported each other and now that we actually have a chance to do it, l can't seem to visualize how would that look like. I guess my questions is how do you do LDR and then plan a future together when kids are involved?

[MsGrim]

I have a 6 year old from a previous relationship. My current SO has expressed concerns about the whole "step dad" thing. He is uneasy about it (rightfully so, its a huge commitment) but we haven't gone into further detail about it due to where we are in our relationship, there is still a lot to figure out. However, if we ever do decide to close the distance, I would move to him and bring my daughter with me.

My daughter's relationship with her dad is not the best. I mean, he loves her but just doesn't spend a lot of time with her. I have full custody and he gets her when he wants... which is not that often. I have never talked to him about the possibility of moving away because like I said, we just aren't there yet. But when/if that time comes he will get a chance to express his feelings, opinions, plans for visits. I don't know what kind of relationship your daughter has with her dad but that really plays a huge factor in your decision.

In the end, one of you will need to move. You or your SO. Just need to talk to him about all of the possibilities and make a plan that you both can agree on.