Should I travel to see my boyfriend despite the COVID-19 surge?

[potato_66]

I am in an international long distance relationship with my boyfriend and am considering visiting him during my winter vacation. As of now there is no travel restriction from my country to his country, the US, as long as certain conditions are met (pre-travel testing etc.). However, the situation in the US is getting worse and I am starting to think maybe I should cancel my trip.

This is a hard decision to make because if we don't meet in December we won't have met for like 2 months and a half. It won't be a big problem if we can just postpone my trip by a month or two, but it is difficult for me to get holidays in January or February because of my job. Well, it is unlikely the situation gets better a lot by then anyway though.

The next chance I can get a long vacation will be the end of April, which is as long as 4 months later than the original plan. I guess (hope) we can put up with it because we know this unprecedented situation is not something we can control and it actually makes it easier to give up in a way compared with a situation where we can't see each other because of our own personal reasons such as work or family commitment.

However, I am still tying to figure out if we can see each other to be honest. I just can't give up even though I do know this is the time when I should seriously think if it is worth taking the risk. Apparently taking a flight itself is rather safe if you properly wear a mask and what is riskier is before and after you get on a plane. If I am super careful throughout my trip and get tested before and after arrival following self-quarantine regulations in his state...again I know I could get infected however careful I try to be, but what should I do??

As for my boyfriend's opinion, which should matter the most after all, he is not very positive about me traveling internationally in the midst of this pandemic. I am a little bit upset about him not being very upset about not being able to see me for a long time though. Anyway, if that's the case should I just listen to him rather than try to convince him it is okay for me to go see him?

Any advice will be appreciated. If you have a similar experience to give up your visit to see your partner because of COVID-19, I would be interested in hearing your story and how you coped with it.

[OhioJim]

Have you considered this possibility?

He does not want you to travel because he loves you and does not want you to be put at risk for getting the virus?

At this point I would agree with him. It is better to wait until next April. By that time a vaccine should be in use in most places, and it would be a lot safer.

[autumn1790]

You wrote before that he wanted to spend the holidays with his family which would require driving a long ways and is also not recommended under the circumstances. Is he still planning on doing that? If so, I might have a few questions about why he is willing to accept one risk and not another. However, public travel most likely has higher risks.
No one can make the decision but you. It is probably safer health wise to wait...but you have to live with the consequences of each decision. My SO and I went over two years before meeting in person the first time; others on here have gone longer than that. Sometimes we have to make very difficult sacrifices to get to the future we want.
Best wishes!

[xxcazaxx]

I would wait. You also never know when situations can change. One of my work colleagues inlaws got stranded in Bangladesh at the start of covid. They have only been back for at most about a month now. Could you afford to have all of that time off work and also potentially lose your job? April is also not really that far away in the grand scheme of things

[TaraMarie]

I would go. Its not going to get any better. You may not have another chance. Cases are rising and with our new government coming in who knows if the border will be open in Jan? I actually currently HAVE COVID. Although I have to quarantine I feel fine (and I am high risk).

[Fluffy Kitty]

Dear Potato :

The point of this travel and putting your life at risk is visit your boyfriend. When your boyfriend himself suggests you not go , why do U insist ?
Besides, you must be a healthy girlfriend. What good is it if you go and put your life or his in danger? Four months is actually nothing. It passes very quickly.
Wait until Spring. But then again if there is no vaccine in the future, spring is as dangerous as now.

[LisaS]

This is a decision only you can make. If you do decide to go, please get tested before and after the trip and following the recommendations like wear a mask, wash your hands, social distance, etc. That being said, if your boyfriend isn’t eager for you to go, I would slightly lean towards not going because it’s going to be so much work to try to be safe that I feel like it would be hard to enjoy the trip. I live in the US and unfortunately there are still people not wearing masks and not social distancing. And also if by chance, you do get covid, are you in a position where you can self-quarantine for 14 days? April is a long time from now but hopefully the number of covid cases won’t be as high as now but who really knows what it’s going to be like by then. There’s a lot to consider. If you do still want to go, I would have another talk with your boyfriend to make sure he is fully onboard before going there. I’m so sorry it’s hard being away from your loved one and I totally understand 😔

[uniquefem]

I just read this post as i just finally back to this website again after almost 10 years

So, the date you post actually was the dat i got back home flying from USA to Indonesia. I flew to visit him in August 2020 in midst of travel ban and country ban here and there it was crazy to plan the trip. But i did it.
It was a well thought kind of trip. I can only say i did glad doing the trip. I fly with a HAZMAT. yepppp 26-30hrs in a freaking hazmat suit, face mask, and face shield !!!! if thats not love idk whats that.

I have to present negative PCR at check in, and when i arrived at Dallas Texas, we decide i took PCR test 5 days after i quarantine myself, its our preference despite that time quarantine after international travel not a mandatory.

It was scary but its so worth it. I met with his family, and his son. I spent 4 months time with him as i was coming with tourist visa.

You got to be discipline if you want to do this, you can do travel safely and responsibly.