I am transgender FTM (female to male) pre testosterone and pre surgery. I have talked about my transition a lot with my girlfriend and at this point she is very understanding and accepting and supporting of it but I am still very nervous about transitioning in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend identifies as a lesbian but is in a relationship with me and calls me her boyfriend and calls me by my chosen name and uses male pronouns with me. Im planning on starting testosterone in september or october and transitioning (legal name change, top surgery, and legal gender marker change) through August 2016. I am only planning on being able to see my girlfriend once or twice a year before I move out there in January 2017. She will see my constant change and progress because I make youtube videos, we skype, and we call but im still nervous about her changing her mind or just not wanting to be with me once I become more masculine and stuff. Its just one of my biggest fears to lose her when im just trying to do what is best for me. But she has told me that she isnt in love with me because of my body but because of who I am on the inside. she says she sees me as male already. She even says that she is willing to help me pay for my transition. Im just scared I guess.
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Love knows no boundaries. -
I think it's normal to be scared and I understand why you are. I don't know how much more you can do, but you seem to be on a good track. Don't get too nervous about this, or don't let it get inbetween you two. Keep communication up and trust yourselves. You'll still be the person she fell inlove with and two boobs and some facial hair don't make that much of a difference. You might have some hiccups along the line, but that's normal with any adjustment. Be patient and stay strong
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I just gotta warn you, most people here will have a hard time answering this since this is completely foreign territory for them. You might need to go to forums specifically for transgender people if you need people to relate to with this specific situation. Ok, with that out of the way...not sure what to say @_@. I'm not gonna lie, the chances of a relationship with someone who's sexual preference is the opposite gender not succeeding are higher. That doesn't mean it's a lost cause though. From what you say, she obviously loves you as you, and that always helps. There's plenty of people out there that have been able to make relationships like this work. Love is strong and can overcome a lot of obstacles, including your second puberty :P. The only advice I can give is keep communication open, the good stuff and the not so good stuff. It will help you both cope with the upcoming changes. A sense of humor helps too, it makes almost any situation better :P.
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As the friend of a MTF girl hopefully I can give you some hope! My friend has been with her girlfriend for six years. four almost five of which she was still identifying as her born gender, I.e they had a bf gf relationship. However 'he' obviously wasn't happy as a male so transitioned into being female. As far as im aware the SO in this case did/does identify herself as heterosexual yet shes completely stuck by my friend. So much so my friend is now happily living as a she with her now fiancée girlfriend! so yes it can work out!
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