How you came out/ want to come out

[kittyxuchiha11]

So i was looking and realised there isn't actually a thread where people have posted how they came out or how they want to come out. I like hearing about how people came out to family and friends or how they want to come out. So, lets use this post to post our stories on how you came out or how you want to come out to people

[snow_girl]

If I was gay and I had the family and friends I have now, I would throw a coming out party. I would invite everyone over for a party and then have a banner drop from the ceiling in big letters saying "I'm gay!"and we'd all celebrate and get drunk.

[differentcountries]

When I came out as lesbian (well,,bisexual) it was really just quiet. Exept I think I was in the paper once... That was a lot of years ago, so media were not nice and also internet had just started taking off. I came into the gay scene through organisations/NGO's and my city's only gay bar, some of the friends I made I still have to this day. Make sure you have a gay community to rely on. And also work on yourself, try to get to know you. It is easier with a girlfriend, still it is about you personally. I came out before I had a girlfriend, and I started dating while still living at home. It was easier once I had a place on my own though. Moving in with my girlfriend was the best thing, but also tough because she was a drama queen... which perhaps explain why I ended up dating two peace-loving guys instead! Anyway... living the gay life, as I still remember it, means you will not always get the support many other people take for granted. It depends of course on your family and friends, but everyday people as well. Perhaps all will not like or understad what you do, but try to stay strong nonetheless. At least when you are 18 and an adult, it is your life. Coming out is not something you do once, but you do it for the rest of your life, to new people. It can be very, very tiresome to explain it to your one time doctor, or the curious taxi driver, and all the other random people you encounter that comments about the lover they see or you mention. Still if you don't say something, people will usually assume you are straight. As a gay person you are usually more visable, unless of course you hang around open mineded people a lot. Still you may need to take a taxi from time to time

BTW; I have been living as an activist/lesbian for years, then straight and quiet with my husband, now I am challenging myself to come out as something "special" again because of the polyamory thing... It is funny because my father is SO happy I am with a man now, he is SO not going to like it when he finds out I am still not living the life he wants for me! Parents are strange. He always taught me I could do whatever I wanted with my life as long as I thought it throught and still it is hard to let a child make its own mistakes, joys or experiences. But being a parent means letting go, too...

[Mims27]

Coming out to my father was easy...he already knew. He always asked me if there was something I needed to talk about, totally hinting at it. hehe He's funny that way. To my sister, it was tough. She thought it was a phase because I had never been with a man. We went to starbucks and I told her over coffee. Not only about that but about my LDR too. She now realises that it's legit. To my mom was the toughest and a process. (I wont go in to details cause it's loooong) We were at the cottage and I told her, with my sister there. She was really surprised and had no clue. Go figure. lol It hardest thing I've ever had to do but she loves me no matter what and accepts my big old gay LDR. hahah So all is good!

[kimmidyann]

I was actually outed...

Family:
My brothers and sisters didn't really care. My little sister only cared about her "reputation" around some of her more religious friends. That was a very frustrating time for me because she didn't understand and she didn't really want to. She was a teenager at the time and only really cared about herself.
My mom and dad are kind of interesting. I took them to dinner and told them I had to tell them something. My mom asked if I had done anything wrong. I said that I hadn't thought so. She asked if I had a boyfriend. I said "No...?" She then asked if I had a girlfriend and I said yes. My dad just said "Finally" and we ate our dinner. The thing is, that sounds like they're the coolest parents in the world. It wasn't until I actually brought people around that it became an issue with them. My mom would constantly question me to "make sure that I wasn't straight" and my dad would make fun of me about how I could pretty much just like anything. They were big on labels but I didn't have one at the time. At the time I was just "in a relationship with another girl" but I didn't know if I was lesbian or bisexual or pansexual or what. I just knew that I liked this girl.

How I was outed:
I was only with this girl for 2 weeks and in that time frame I had come out to a few of my friends in the drama club, who were also out. Well then drama started to happen. I was confused with my feelings and still kind of trying to figure out the difference between liking a girl in "that way" or just being best friends with them. My best friend, A, was in a relationship at the time and she never stopped talking about this guy. For some reason, it always hurt me and I was always upset. I linked it to liking her instead of just the feeling of being replaced by him. So I told a few of my close friends who were also close friends with her, that I liked her and that was why I needed space from her. The friends told her but she hadn't said anything to me. Then I told her soon after that. Nothing really happened and she didn't really care. She just said that if I needed space she would give it to me.

Later that night I was at a party and somebody came up to me and said, "DUDE! Heard you're lesbian!" She said that some random guy told her at school. As the night went on I found out that everybody knew... The thing is...nobody really knows that I'm actually bisexual because I never really told them. I don't care enough to. xD But I never really got the opportunity to come out to a lot of my friends and I actually got outed to my church and got kicked out. I didn't get to do a lot of it on my own terms when I was really ready so that's the only aggravating thing to me.

Sorry it's so long! D: haha

[kittyxuchiha11]

Thanks for all your stories guys! I really love reading them and just seeing how different peoples experiences are.
my own coming out story isn't really that interesting but you guys shared your so i should probably share mine.

So basically i had my first girlfriend when i was nearly 12. of course it wasn't a serious relationship but it was my first relationship and yeah i was 12 so i thought it was the most serious thgin ever. i legit went to my mum and dad and told them i was ina relationship with a girl and that i was a lesbian. They just kinda laughed and told me it was a phase and that most girls my age go through a question your sexuality phase. So that relationship came and went and then after that my best friend at the time confessed that she liked me so i started dating her but kept it pretty secret because although my parents didn't react badly at all i still felt a little hurt that they thought it was 'just a phase'. I had an ex-bestfriend at this point who found out about me and my friend dating and outed me to the whole school. i was bullied for a whole year physically and verbally and that made me really think that being gay was completely wrong. so i tried dating a guy friend to prove i was at least bi so i wouldn't be such a freak and people would like me. But of course that didn't work out and i basically came out to him saying yeah i'm really a lesbian i'm so sorry. At 14 i had my first ldr, even though we were still in the same country we only saw each otehr every few weeks. because we were long distance and no one knew her i somehow managed to convince everyone i was dating a guy and that stopped the bullying. people actually liked me and started talking to me but that soon ended when i started dating a girl at my school when i was 15. so the bullying started again but so much worse than before. i had stones thrown at me, hit with branches, punches. basically everyone hated me again. luckily a lot of the bullies left school. turns out that girl was a complete pyscho who hates me to this day even though she left me to go with her best friend but whatever. sadly my dad passed away after that relationship ended and i had to look after my mum so relationships weren't my first priority at all. My mum and the rest of my family were completely accepting that i was gay and they understood that and i never had any problems with my family, it was only people at school who were a bit weird about it. last febuary in 2013 i started dating Tiffany my current girlfriend who is from PA in the states. i left school and am now in college and the friends i've made here don't care about my sexuality at all and just like me for who i am.

Yeah that was really long sorry. but yeah that's basically the really long tale of how i came out. long story short: my family were cool, the people at school weren't.

[Sophie_lauren]

The coming out part wasn't all to like interesting. Told my sister first she was so annoyed at the fact she hadn't worked it out and then told me to tell our mum. I walked into her room and at this point I was like saying I was bi, walked in said I have something to tell you, I'm bi and she just said oh well it doesn't affect me so whatever basically. My family all along had always asked me and said like do you have something to tell us, we will love you no matter what but I always denied it and didn't really think I was till one day it just clicked. That day was when my now ex told me she liked me and asked me out. To which I obviously said yes, weird move for a supposed straight girl right. Then when we were like going out it hit me like how it was supposed to feel when you are with someone. I had like minor relationships previous to that one but I never felt anything in them and I never loved anyone or even really felt anything in that sense. Now I'm with my baby like everything just fits and I'm so glad I'm a lesbian because otherwise I wouldn't have the most amazing and just all round phenomenal woman that she is as my girlfriend!

[CaleighRosebud]

Many of my friends were there for my crazy school years where I wanted to put a label on my orientation so bad but it wasn't until after I graduated that I heard about pansexuality and it fits the bill. As for the friends I've made since, they're a part of the community themselves so they offer support and love (gay straight alliance clubs are A+)

My aunt and uncle know because I was outed but they told me they already knew for a long time. They might not accept it completely but they've met her and don't seem at all bothered by us. My grandparents don't know but I'm sure they suspect. We don't exactly hide it but we aren't out in the open either. My aunt said its best not to tell them. My 86 year old grandpa would definitely never accept it but my grandma might be able to come around.

I don't plan on coming out but sometimes I feel trapped and like I want to tell them everything about her. We love each other so much and her family has been so supportive of us and treat me like I'm already a part of the family.