Am I overreacting over her going out?

[AppleLee]

Hello! I'm looking for some advice, if any of you could say some I would be really grateful!
My girlfriend likes to go out to drink with her friends for time to time. I really don’t have a problem with this, I do the same too, we’re both 20 and are in college, so I think it’s pretty normal to go to a wild party from time to time. I trust her, and I really don’t think she will cheat on me. The only thing I ask is that she sends me a few text during the night, two or three just to make sure she’s okay. She tells me “every time I have access to wifi, I’ll text you” we use whatsapp, its super useful, and it let you know when was the last time someone was online. The thing is (and this happens every time) I see she got online just a few minutes ago, yet I haven’t hear about here since four hours ago. I don’t want her to stop hanging out with her friends, I just don’t like her to disappear.
And I admit, I feel really childish feeling this way. When I go out, I like to keep her with what I’m doing, usually even sent a few pics, I really can’t stop thinking “this is good, but it would be 10 times better with her here.” And with that I try to feel like she’s there with me, just a little. It’s a little painful to feel that she just goes out and forgets about me.
I’m really possessive, so its hard for me to tell if what I’m asking is too much or its normal. This is also my first time in a relationship with someone, I mean being official. I’ve been with people, but this girl is the first one I really see a future and want to do things right, rather that “I see you cute so ok” that was what I’ve been done until her.
Am I overreacting? How do you guys manage your SO going out all night? Any advice to just not think this much and let her be? Ugh, I’m a little confused…

[differentcountries]

Yes you are overreacting. I never get pics and selsom texts when SO is out, because then the friends are in focus. I just say Have fun and that's it until the next day. She doesn't forget about you, she is just having a social life.

[nemolove_22]

I agree with differentcountries. I do also feel like you are overreacting. She hasn't forgotten about you. She's just out with her friends.
She'll text you when she has time.
Maybe she hasn't been able to get online to send you something.
Who knows what's going on, but she will get back to you when she has a chance.

[conejita_hada]

When my SO or I go out with our respective friends we message what we'll be doing "I'm spending time with my friend(s), (name of friend)" which signals that whoever is out is unavailable for chatting. Then, we usually text a good night message informing the other person we are home and safe. Sometimes, my SO forgets, or I do but it isn't too big a deal because we'll chat in the morning. I say this just as an example, what works for us.

Sometimes, WhatsApp isn't reliable in saying when the person received the message or viewed it. I've had the occurrence before messaging my SO and he responds although the little line below his name says his last view was an hour prior to his response. I've also had the issue once or twice when the message "went through" but was delayed because of bad internet connection. I agree with the other posters, there are a number of reasons you might not receive a response while she's out but with secure trust in the relationship, don't worry about it too much.

[whatruckus]

My SO and I rarely talk when either of us goes out, so I really don't think you have anything to worry about. We may text here and there, but not really. Also, it's not always possible to find WiFi. Especially if she's out somewhere that isn't a café or residence. I know I rarely ever find free WiFi when I'm out, unless it's a mall or one of the places I mentioned.

[AppleLee]

Yeah, god you're all right. Uh, I think the problem is that I feel bad for something like that? Maybe we got too used to be talking everytime... And I'm just being childish thinking that just because she doesn't talk to me means she forgets about me... But sometimes its hard to deal with those feelings you know aren't right.
Thanks for your advices! Def helped me to cool down, reading your comments makes it easier to understand!
I think I just feel a little imponent, she's so far away... Thanks everyone!

[whatruckus]

Yeah, god you're all right. Uh, I think the problem is that I feel bad for something like that? Maybe we got too used to be talking everytime... And I'm just being childish thinking that just because she doesn't talk to me means she forgets about me... But sometimes its hard to deal with those feelings you know aren't right.
Thanks for your advices! Def helped me to cool down, reading your comments makes it easier to understand!
I think I just feel a little imponent, she's so far away... Thanks everyone!

No, it's completely understandable. I used to be like that too until I took a step back and remembered my SO still talks to me all the time (when he can) when he's home.

[thehappyhope]

You could tell her about it. Not just the part about you feeling worried and wanting her to contact you, but also the part about you knowing and trusting that she won't cheat, and how you feel bad about the way you feel. At least then she would understand where you're coming from and what you feel.

Really, logic aside, sometimes I feel like LDR is really about blind faith. You need trust in CD relationships, but even more so in LDR, because you know even less about what your SO's doing hour after hour. Sometimes I feel like it doesn't make sense to trust my SO, because he can literally be up to anything and I wouldn't have a clue. But that's love, making a commitment to make things work.

Now, when I have some time and my SO's not available to chat, I try to do something else instead of obsessing waiting for his reply. I either blog about us, check this forum, or study. (Or go out with friends when they're available).

I hope that you can find a way to make things better for you! It takes time, I think, to find "lifelines" and methods to deal with it. I'm new to LDR myself, about 2 weeks in, and I'm definitely still adjusting.

Good luck to all of us!

[Safihre]

I can relate very strongly to your story and did/expected the exact same thing as you when I was out or she was out.

Don't make a big deal about it, why mention it at all? She will text you when she texts you, and when she does you'll know it's because she wants to and not because you told her to.
Being all forceful over texts when your SO is out usually has the opposite effect of what you want, she'll just feel pressured and controlled.
I learned this the hard way

[Dwessie]

When my SO or I go out with our respective friends we message what we'll be doing "I'm spending time with my friend(s), (name of friend)" which signals that whoever is out is unavailable for chatting. Then, we usually text a good night message informing the other person we are home and safe. Sometimes, my SO forgets, or I do but it isn't too big a deal because we'll chat in the morning. I say this just as an example, what works for us.

Sometimes, WhatsApp isn't reliable in saying when the person received the message or viewed it. I've had the occurrence before messaging my SO and he responds although the little line below his name says his last view was an hour prior to his response. I've also had the issue once or twice when the message "went through" but was delayed because of bad internet connection. I agree with the other posters, there are a number of reasons you might not receive a response while she's out but with secure trust in the relationship, don't worry about it too much.

Me and mine also do this, her phone gets bad 4G sometimes, and I just plain don't have one!