Dealing with reality
Hi, I'm new to this forum and wanted to share my story, I'm in a gay LDR with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I thought that by sharing my story with people in similar situations, the feedback might help me to deal with the distance as well as help others.
Before I start, I want to let everyone know that I finally came out to my parents last week after 13 years of silence.
Ok, so it was back in 2013, I was really depressed because I had no one to talk to about being gay, I live in South Africa where it is general less acceptable. One night I had the idea to go onto an online chat site to see how it would be to tell someone I'm gay. I knew this would be okay because it was just a stranger but at the same time it was thrilling. I had been doing this for a week or so before I click next and there I saw (in my eyes) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen. It turned out he had been doing the same thing I was. We gave each other our Skype names and immediately started talking. We would chat everyday after that night for hours and hours per day.
Ill skip a couple of months and just tell you, as cheesy as it sounds we completely fell in love with each other. It was scary and exhilarating all at once because we had both never been in a relationship. We agreed to not make anything official until we met in person and even though we felt it, we decided we would save the ''L'' word until we met. In November of 2013 we finally made plans to meet. We had promised each other we were committed to making our future relationship happen. On the 23rd of November I landed in Atlanta, USA after a 20 hour flight, you can imagine how nervous I was, especially knowing that I obviously did not look my best with over a day of traveling behind me, but when we locked eyes in the airport for the first time, my heart stopped and everything in the world went away for a few seconds. The moment we had been talking about for months had come. He ran towards me a leaped into my arms and I didn't let go for at least a minute. That afternoon he took me on our first real ''date'' alongside a lake and a stuffed picnic bag full of things he knew I liked. We were snuggled under the blankets (it was freezing) when he came a little closer and said ''I want to ask you something''. He said, ''Will be finally be my boyfriend now?'', and I said ''Yes! Now kiss me''. He dived on top of me and we shared our first kiss. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. This was the first time I had ever truly felt what love was. After staying with him for around 3 months before I had to go back to South Africa to continue studying. Letting go of his hand at that airport was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.
For 3 weeks after I got back home, I would cry myself to sleep every night. I felt like my home was in South Africa but my life was back in America. I started saving immediately for the next trip we were planning. Ill skip a couple of months ahead and tell you that I got my 21st birthday present from my parents a little early when I asked for the rest of the money to go back to Atlanta. When I got back this June, it was like I had never left. We rented an apartment and spent as much time as possible together. This might be a little strange for some, but we finally lost our virginity to each other the night I got back to him. I think we both wanted to make sure we were going to spend the rest of our lives together before took that step. We were very sure.
I am again back in South Africa after coming back at the beginning of this month (August). I am still adjusting to being back to reality. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I wont be seeing him till next May when he makes his first visit to see me, but this time was easier. It was easier because we are certain we found each other for a reason, we are meant to be together. The day will come when I travel to the US with no return ticket, I know that now.
Comments please
Before I start, I want to let everyone know that I finally came out to my parents last week after 13 years of silence.
Ok, so it was back in 2013, I was really depressed because I had no one to talk to about being gay, I live in South Africa where it is general less acceptable. One night I had the idea to go onto an online chat site to see how it would be to tell someone I'm gay. I knew this would be okay because it was just a stranger but at the same time it was thrilling. I had been doing this for a week or so before I click next and there I saw (in my eyes) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen. It turned out he had been doing the same thing I was. We gave each other our Skype names and immediately started talking. We would chat everyday after that night for hours and hours per day.
Ill skip a couple of months and just tell you, as cheesy as it sounds we completely fell in love with each other. It was scary and exhilarating all at once because we had both never been in a relationship. We agreed to not make anything official until we met in person and even though we felt it, we decided we would save the ''L'' word until we met. In November of 2013 we finally made plans to meet. We had promised each other we were committed to making our future relationship happen. On the 23rd of November I landed in Atlanta, USA after a 20 hour flight, you can imagine how nervous I was, especially knowing that I obviously did not look my best with over a day of traveling behind me, but when we locked eyes in the airport for the first time, my heart stopped and everything in the world went away for a few seconds. The moment we had been talking about for months had come. He ran towards me a leaped into my arms and I didn't let go for at least a minute. That afternoon he took me on our first real ''date'' alongside a lake and a stuffed picnic bag full of things he knew I liked. We were snuggled under the blankets (it was freezing) when he came a little closer and said ''I want to ask you something''. He said, ''Will be finally be my boyfriend now?'', and I said ''Yes! Now kiss me''. He dived on top of me and we shared our first kiss. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. This was the first time I had ever truly felt what love was. After staying with him for around 3 months before I had to go back to South Africa to continue studying. Letting go of his hand at that airport was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.
For 3 weeks after I got back home, I would cry myself to sleep every night. I felt like my home was in South Africa but my life was back in America. I started saving immediately for the next trip we were planning. Ill skip a couple of months ahead and tell you that I got my 21st birthday present from my parents a little early when I asked for the rest of the money to go back to Atlanta. When I got back this June, it was like I had never left. We rented an apartment and spent as much time as possible together. This might be a little strange for some, but we finally lost our virginity to each other the night I got back to him. I think we both wanted to make sure we were going to spend the rest of our lives together before took that step. We were very sure.
I am again back in South Africa after coming back at the beginning of this month (August). I am still adjusting to being back to reality. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that I wont be seeing him till next May when he makes his first visit to see me, but this time was easier. It was easier because we are certain we found each other for a reason, we are meant to be together. The day will come when I travel to the US with no return ticket, I know that now.
Comments please
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