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Is there hope?

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    Is there hope?

    I'm a 21 year old guy who met a 30M foreign graduate student in my hometown (in the US) a little over a year ago, while while we were both interning there. We only saw each other a few times that summer to hang out, cuddle, watch movies together etc., and I originally had no intention of seeing or talking to him ever again once we both went back to school. For some reason, I felt a compatibility with him that I've never felt with anyone else despite only having a few encounters with him, but I went back to school assuming that I'd just forget about him after settling back into my routine. As you can imagine, that didn't happen, and the urge to see him again remained in the back of my mind as the school year passed. After a few months without us talking, I emailed him to see how he was doing. This started a long chain of emails and FB messages, in which I got to know him more and more, and that's when I realized I was possibly developing feelings for him. We agreed that if the opportunity arose, we'd try to see each other again.

    Fast forward to the last few months of the school year. After securing a summer internship, I decided I'd spend a few weeks after my internship traveling through Europe. I contacted him, hoping we'd be able to meet up for a few hours if I happened to travel near his city. Well, he took it a step further, and offered to take a week off work to host me and show me around his city. We kept in touch regularly throughout the summer, until I finally went to visit him for a week in August. I had one of the best weeks of my life, and connected with him in a way that I've never connected with anyone. I got to meet his family, friends, visit his office, go sightseeing with him; it was amazing. We both shared things with each other that we hadn't shared with anyone before. I visited him with the intention of having fun with someone I shared a somewhat romantic friendship with (not sure if that makes sense?), but the more we talked and the more intimate moments we shared, the more I fell for him.

    I was only there for a week, but leaving him at the end of my trip was absolutely devastating. I had about a week and a half of traveling left in beautiful cities, but I honestly had to force myself to get up everyday and go explore. It's been about a month since our last day together, and I'm back in the US for my final year of college, while he's finishing his PhD in his country. I can't stop thinking about him. We message every day and are planning on seeing each other again next summer, hopefully for a longer period of time, as I'll have 1 - 3 months to travel before starting my full time job. Neither of us have brought up starting a relationship with each other. He mentioned during one of our particularly long, deep conversations during my week there that he believes the Internet and apps make long distance relationships possible, but I'm still not sure whether he was trying to hint at something. We'll both have jobs with which we'll be able to afford traveling pretty much as often as we want bearing time constraints, and that would allow us to eventually relocate to a different city if need be. I'm not married to the idea of living in the US forever, and would move for someone I love.

    I'm fine just talking to him regularly for now as I continue to get to know him, but I know that I can't just keep developing feelings for him indefinitely without letting him know eventually. Am I crazy to think that this could go anywhere? Dating around is not for me, and there's no one else I've met so far I'd want to pursue anything with.

    #2
    No. It's not crazy to think it could go somewhere. All of us here in LDRS have wondered how it would work (at some point). And we all gave it a shot. You can't help who you connect with, why should it be hampered by your geographic location? Maybe talk to him about if an LDR is something he'd be open to and go from there. If you both make each other happy you should at least ask if it's a possibility.

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      #3
      There is totally hope. You can't ignore that you guys click and if you don't see where it goes, you may end up wondering and regretting. Definitely see where he stands. It may surprised you. Some things happen for a reason.

      "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
      Married April 18th, 2015!!
      Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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        #4
        of course, there is hope
        but you need to find out exactly what are his intentions.
        does he feel like you?
        you should not be afraid to ask, it is better to find that out as soon as possible.

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          #5
          Originally posted by shaybib View Post
          of course, there is hope
          but you need to find out exactly what are his intentions.
          does he feel like you?
          you should not be afraid to ask, it is better to find that out as soon as possible.
          I agree, I was just going to say the same. Lay all your cards out on the table. It sounds to me like you guys are already in a relationship, but waiting for the other person to say it out loud and make it official. Don't let distance alone ruin a good thing, go for it. Best of luck!

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