How to Combat LDR Skeptics?

[Darkisme]

Greetings my fellow LDR friends.
I am 26, my name is Hana. And I am from California. I have been in a long-distance relationship with a girl from Bulgaria for 4 months. We met on a lesbian Facebook group and when we started talking we never stopped. Needless to say it's been magical to the extent that she is giving me more in a relationship than anyone ever has even without a physical presence. Life is extremely different in other countries and I think the hardest part was just that I couldn't understand everything going on. There's also a language barrier. She can read and write English well and has gotten better since we started talking but can't pronounce it well so I have helped started teaching her. She also teaches me her language and I have to say it's an amazing experience and I feel so focused and determined for a future with her.

One of many problems encountered are the relationship Skeptics. When I try to confide in some friends about my ldr they come back at me with suspicions and 'what ifs.' The truth is they don't know how many layers and how many things that we do together that prove our love is real. Just 1 example: My girlfriend sends me photos everyday and facetimes me everyday sometimes multiple times a day. She's made me feel like the best I ever have in my life and I just want people to respect that, especially my friends. I guess in time all will tell but it just hurts when a good friend you want advice from just tells you they're skeptical opinions and it hurts. How do I get over wanting to persuade them? I just want everyone to support and believe in what I have. It took me months to even believe in it myself but as time goes by the more I realized there are too many dots that connect for it to be anything but the realist and truest love I've ever had. She completes me. She has never asked me for money or anything weird like that. I have been very clear I am poor with college debt and it may take years before i can move to be with her. She doesn't care. She loves me and says she would wait years. We both work a lot and struggle together. I hope maybe I will be able to afford a trip, with my close friend included to come with me, in October to Romania. Romania is q neighboring country(with cheaper airfare) she will meet me in.

Feel free to share your own experiences with LDR skeptics and if you have any advice, I would love that.

[erwin1973]

Why do you have to convince the skeptics? You don't have to. As long as you know everything is allright, what is the problem?

You can't convince people who don't want to be convinced. Even more then that, there are people who strongly believe you can't be in a (partner)relationship on long distance. They just deny the existence of that.

Let it go. Their opinion is not important. Should not be important. You know what you know, that should be enough.

Good luck

BTW: my parents don't approve with my LDR, so I know firsthand what I talk about.

[Darkisme]

Thank you so much Erwin1973. I admit, I sometimes do care what others think, and proving someone wrong is always nice but yes, when it comes down to it, it's just an obstacle I must overcome. I guess when someone close thinks the worst, it's almost infecting and causes me to have anxiety. I'll get over it soon i hope.

[Allurial]

I had a problem with this as well, some of my friends didn't believe that a long distance relationship was even real like some sort of unicorn. Everyone will always have different thoughts and outlooks on situations, as long as you are happy and comfortable and safe what should it matter wha they think? Though when I was starting out it was hard to have so many people tell me that it would never work that he would cheat on me and find a better girl out there. I am sure your friends are just trying to be 'protective' of you and your feelings. It took me saying that I think my SO is 'the one' and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time for them to finally step off. Honestly I wish you the best, stay strong and definitely come back to the community here if you need the support.

[erwin1973]

Thank you so much Erwin1973. I admit, I sometimes do care what others think, and proving someone wrong is always nice but yes, when it comes down to it, it's just an obstacle I must overcome. I guess when someone close thinks the worst, it's almost infecting and causes me to have anxiety. I'll get over it soon i hope.

My pleasure.

As I said, my parents oppose to me being in an LDR with my lady. I can not even talk with them about it or I get a scolding like a 4 year old. That is hard, because they are my parents and I want to share all my happy and bad moments with them. Yet the best moments I have, I can't share because I don't want a fight. Eventually, that confrontatian will come... But yes, I full understand how you must feel. But in the end it is between you and your other half. The rest has nothing to do with it. You can't please everyone. Good luck!

[snow]

You don't. You simply carry on with your life and bring all those joyful and happy moments into this forum!

When I started dating my now husband, my friends, my family, everyone around me was skeptic and against it, but I found a safe place here where I could share all the wonderful things he did that made me feel loved and in time the skeptics didn't bother me anymore

[Darkisme]

I had a problem with this as well, some of my friends didn't believe that a long distance relationship was even real like some sort of unicorn. Everyone will always have different thoughts and outlooks on situations, as long as you are happy and comfortable and safe what should it matter wha they think? Though when I was starting out it was hard to have so many people tell me that it would never work that he would cheat on me and find a better girl out there. I am sure your friends are just trying to be 'protective' of you and your feelings. It took me saying that I think my SO is 'the one' and I'm the happiest I've been in a long time for them to finally step off. Honestly I wish you the best, stay strong and definitely come back to the community here if you need the support.

Thank you for sharing Allurial. I really appreciate it, truly. I'm glad I found this forum. I'm excited to share my happiness with others here, because my girlfriend, she changed my life... She is everything to me.

[Darkisme]

You don't. You simply carry on with your life and bring all those joyful and happy moments into this forum!

When I started dating my now husband, my friends, my family, everyone around me was skeptic and against it, but I found a safe place here where I could share all the wonderful things he did that made me feel loved and in time the skeptics didn't bother me anymore

You're right Snow. Thank you for sharing your experience! I see I'm not alone. Did you meet your husband online first? I'd love to hear more about your story.

[Rezie]

I just don't talk about my relationship unless asked. I can't be bothered with explaining my life choices and why we don't just pack up and move. Thankfully people around me are not too nosey. Yea it's annoying that I can't share with my best friend if there is something happening but I can't be bothered with the useless advice from someone that doesn't understand that our relationship is real.

[snow]

You're right Snow. Thank you for sharing your experience! I see I'm not alone. Did you meet your husband online first? I'd love to hear more about your story.

Yes I did! I met him playing a video game online! He is 8 years older than me and my parents were very worried that he didn't love me, that he only wanted me because I was younger and that what we had was not real. I knew better and look at us - it's been 5 years that we have been together, 2 and a half that we're married! It's been tough to deal with people saying we are not in love and it will not last, but the people on this forum listen to you and will build you up when you need it!