Appreciate ANY Advice

[Millianne]

Okay I have never done this before (I'm not a native English speaker so please don't kill me for bad grammar or spelling mistakes) but here is my story:

About two years ago I meet one of my best friends ever. She is perfect, she is smart, good looking, funny etc. And we had so much fun together, we live in different parts of the country so we don't see each other that often, but this summer we spent over a month together and I fell for her hard. Before this she was a 100% certain that she was strait and when I asked her out I expected to get a no at once. What happened was that she became very unsure and that night we ended up making out and I felt great, we decided to try it out, but we have dated LD for 2 months now and she still doesn't know if she has feelings for me. I'm going to visit her this weekend but now she suddenly doesn't look forward to meeting up anymore I have tried to give her time but shouldn't 2 months be enough to figure out if you have feelings for a person? should I be worried that she's not looking forward to seeing me anymore?? I mean last time we meet she said she had butterflies in her belly and now nothing. The last two times we meat up she cried when I left, is this a good ting?? I'm also scared that breaking up will ruin our friendship

Sorry for the rambling above, but please any advice on ether unrequited feelings, her not knowing if she has feelings for me, if I should continue working om this relationship or anything related would be much appreciated. One of my main problems is that I have a tendency to overthink stuff I and figured that this would be a good way to sort out my own thoughts as well (I also might think she's one :/)

Thanks in advance

[erwin1973]

Hi and welcome.
Did you ask her why she backed out a bit? Is it may be because she is not sure of her own sexuality, is it may be because others have talked her out of being in an LDR? May be she still isn't sure about if he is lesbian, straight or may be even bisexual... That uncertainty can cast a lot of doubts about everything. Because it's important for all the future relationships you would enter. If you haven't ask, do so. May be you can be supportive. You can also suggest - hard as it may be - to just meet as friends, but I'm not sure if that is a good idea.
Good luck.

[hmrambling]

I am a 41 year old lesbian who has been out since age 16. I encourage you to open your mind up to the fact that she might not be available to you. I mean that in the most gentle sincere way that I can say it. It might be one sided, and I implore you not to force your feelings on her or to push her into something she doesn't really want. Open your mind up to being friends. She may only want to be friends, and if that is the case you really need to practice good boundaries around being friends only. Please don't pressure her.

If this doesn't work out, I encourage you to focus on women who are available to you and that you accept that women who identify as straight are not available to you. I had to accept this when I was younger. There were women who were straight who entertained physical relationships, but they were not emotionally available and that is a set up to be hurt in the long run. Do not mistaken her making out with you as her being emotionally available. Take care of yourself and practice very good boundaries, please.

[Millianne]

Thank you guys so much for the good advice I think I will just talk to her about sexuality and if she doesn't think that she's ready or want to be in a lesbian relationship I'll back off. I think we need to talk about it, due to the fact that she's never had a crush before and never been in a relationship.
So when me made out she said it felt nice, but that she was confused due to the fact that she had always thought that she would be with a guy :/ .
Otherwise I think you are right, I need to back off if she doesn't like me the way I like her.