LDR with a doctor (Need advice) Anyone with a similar situation LGBT
Hi guys!
A little background about myself. 23, Male, Asian(1/4 Japanese, Spanish and 2/4 Taiwanese), Bi (closet)
I am a Registered Nurse and I am migrating to New York, USA next year for work.
Currently on a monogamous relationship with a 31 year old Male, Resident ER doctor.
We know each other way back in 2007, we met at church and he was my mentor for a few years until 2011 when we both stopped going to church and would communicate infrequently due to the pressure of my Bachelors Degree in Nursing and Him; being a medical student. We grew up in a Christian environment where homosexuality is not accepted in our community thus the need for us to hide our sexuality in the closet; to the point that both of us didn't know that we faced that same struggle of being gay. During my uni years, we both go to the same school and sometimes, we would pass by each other and would catch up for a few minutes. He had a girlfriend on 2011 and I dated girls occasionally. A few years had passed and both of us graduated in 2015 and I decided to go to Taiwan and study/work for 2 years, while he pursued his residency at a well-known hospital in our country. I came back home on March 2017 because I decided to pursue my degree in USA. And while I was back home, I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend and ended their 6-year relationship last year. So, we met up again in June 2017 and I told him everything about myself and he shared that he was like that as well. And fast forward to today, We are now together and we both couldn't be happier but we have a lot of things on our mind these days and these are the following:
1. Both of us are still in the closet (we agreed that it is better to stay in the closet since our environment is incredibly hostile)
- he have friends who know about his sexuality, while I don't. Our families don't know about our relationship or our orientation.
2. He is ridiculously busy as a resident doctor. He works on a 36 hour shift with no weekend. He even sleeps at the hospital now because of pure exhaustion and fatigue.
- We go on dates but rarely. I would usually bring him something to the hospital instead (mostly food).
- I am not in need of attention or is the type who would need to talk to on a daily basis. Being a medical professional, I support him 100% since I understand his struggles.
3. Communication is a problem for him. He mentioned to me that he isn't the type to respond to all of my messages which I noticed just now even when we were friends before. He is an introvert.
* I don't mind at all about communication and him not replying to my messages but I don't know if this would cause a problem for the both of us if we're on a LDR since this is our first LDR.
4. I don't know if our age is compatible? (I've never had anyone older than me) and the fact of him being a guy is a first to me.
5. I am moving to America, He is leaving our hometown and going to another city to pursue his fellowship. we will have a 12 hour time difference by then. :/ and this would probably add another problem to our situation haha, I seriously thought that things couldn't get any worse than this.
-Moving to America is a non-negotiable choice because the salary of my job as a nurse is not enough to sustain a life in my country.
I am put in a difficult situation. I believe that this relationship is worth it but I want to ask everyone some advice.
If you were in my shoes right now, in your own opinion, what would you do? Any LGBT couple who has a busy work life that made it through?
We have plans on visiting each other, probably four times in a year, and I am there for work only. I plan to live my life back in my hometown when I am stable enough.
I have no one to turn to but the internet for some advice.
I appreciate anybody could say something about this. Thanks guys.
A little background about myself. 23, Male, Asian(1/4 Japanese, Spanish and 2/4 Taiwanese), Bi (closet)
I am a Registered Nurse and I am migrating to New York, USA next year for work.
Currently on a monogamous relationship with a 31 year old Male, Resident ER doctor.
We know each other way back in 2007, we met at church and he was my mentor for a few years until 2011 when we both stopped going to church and would communicate infrequently due to the pressure of my Bachelors Degree in Nursing and Him; being a medical student. We grew up in a Christian environment where homosexuality is not accepted in our community thus the need for us to hide our sexuality in the closet; to the point that both of us didn't know that we faced that same struggle of being gay. During my uni years, we both go to the same school and sometimes, we would pass by each other and would catch up for a few minutes. He had a girlfriend on 2011 and I dated girls occasionally. A few years had passed and both of us graduated in 2015 and I decided to go to Taiwan and study/work for 2 years, while he pursued his residency at a well-known hospital in our country. I came back home on March 2017 because I decided to pursue my degree in USA. And while I was back home, I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend and ended their 6-year relationship last year. So, we met up again in June 2017 and I told him everything about myself and he shared that he was like that as well. And fast forward to today, We are now together and we both couldn't be happier but we have a lot of things on our mind these days and these are the following:
1. Both of us are still in the closet (we agreed that it is better to stay in the closet since our environment is incredibly hostile)
- he have friends who know about his sexuality, while I don't. Our families don't know about our relationship or our orientation.
2. He is ridiculously busy as a resident doctor. He works on a 36 hour shift with no weekend. He even sleeps at the hospital now because of pure exhaustion and fatigue.
- We go on dates but rarely. I would usually bring him something to the hospital instead (mostly food).
- I am not in need of attention or is the type who would need to talk to on a daily basis. Being a medical professional, I support him 100% since I understand his struggles.
3. Communication is a problem for him. He mentioned to me that he isn't the type to respond to all of my messages which I noticed just now even when we were friends before. He is an introvert.
* I don't mind at all about communication and him not replying to my messages but I don't know if this would cause a problem for the both of us if we're on a LDR since this is our first LDR.
4. I don't know if our age is compatible? (I've never had anyone older than me) and the fact of him being a guy is a first to me.
5. I am moving to America, He is leaving our hometown and going to another city to pursue his fellowship. we will have a 12 hour time difference by then. :/ and this would probably add another problem to our situation haha, I seriously thought that things couldn't get any worse than this.
-Moving to America is a non-negotiable choice because the salary of my job as a nurse is not enough to sustain a life in my country.
I am put in a difficult situation. I believe that this relationship is worth it but I want to ask everyone some advice.
If you were in my shoes right now, in your own opinion, what would you do? Any LGBT couple who has a busy work life that made it through?
We have plans on visiting each other, probably four times in a year, and I am there for work only. I plan to live my life back in my hometown when I am stable enough.
I have no one to turn to but the internet for some advice.
I appreciate anybody could say something about this. Thanks guys.
Comment