Someone to talk to?

[FriendlyWatermelon]

Hey, Im new to this forum. I hope you can welcome me. lol.

I actually just need someone to talk to, Ive been in an open relationship for 3 years now. We rarely talk about our label. I mean Im totally committed to her, I just dont know about her. Shes at another country right now and we havent talked for the whole month, she hasnt even messaged me if she landed safe or whatnot. It just makes me sad to be frustrated this much. Shes usually like this so I shouldnt overreact all the time, but I do and I hate it. I dont even know if she misses me, or if she found someone else. I did talk to her mom tho, she said that her daughter misses me. Then why cant she just message me right? I mean is it my fault? Did I do something? Im tired, but I do love her and I still do. I just dont know if its still worth it. Is it?

[Rezie]

If your partner of 3 years doesn't message you for a month it is not worth it. Unless she is in a coma (I assume mom would have told you), moved to part of the world without internet connection (she should have told you) or these is something super dark happening (she or the mom should have informed you).

Have you messages her? is she ignoring you? I would send her an email/message and let her know you want to talk. Have a good conversation and discuss what is going on. If there is an acceptable reason then talk about importance of communication. Even if you did something there is no reason to ignore for a month.
If she continues to ignore you, I would move on. Since mom didn't say a reason, I'm assuming she is actively ignoring you for a month and that is not ok in a relationship.

[Sun_King]

I was once the offender in such a situation. Except it wasn't nearly a month, more like three days or up to a week at a time. I admit I was a bad communicator up until six or more months ago. I don't know her character or how much/what is normal behaviour between the two of you, but if you want to make it work, then I'll reflect on my own experience(s). For me, honestly in the beginning, my relationship didn't feel like it was romantic or real to me, in fact it felt a little superficial. But over time we evolved and we're absolutely in love. Of course I still struggled with consistency because I was going from a position of not ever dating or having a real romantic relationship to being commited and existing as part of a unit. I made a big transition. It was a matter of learning of how to be and how to conduct oneself in a relationship in my case. Nowadays I message my lady nearly every morning and initiate contact at night when we're both presumably at home. Maybe in your case it's a matter of communicating how you feel and your requirements/expectations so long as they're reasonable. Don't be demanding. Be fair but not too impartial because it is effecting your emotional well-being. To be in a relationship, just like with sex or love, is something that you participate in, it's not an act that is done to someone, so see what it takes to get your SO to participate if she is really worth it. Find' out what's up, don't accept excuses, but don't be accusatory. Sometimes it's a matter of learning your partner and them learning you. I'd also recommend books on building relationships and love languages such as The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. People love differently, so let that be known and find out what the hold up is. Once I found out how it made my lady feel, I made gradual adjustments and they (can) become natural so long as you or your partner can see the error in your or thier ways and is willing.