Am I overthinking?

[markmarco]

Hello guys, I just started a long distance relationship with my boyfriend as he had to move abroad for work. We are expected to be apart for at least a year.

A little about me... I tend to feel things very intensely and as a result the recent separation has left me feeling very down and somewhat devastated. On top of that, the holidays are approaching, and I do get extra down during the holidays.

My boyfriend tries to be there for me whenever he can but he said there’s only so much he can do since we’re apart. And he said me not being happy makes him feel frustrated and also very tired.

I sometimes feel like he’s going to get real tired of me real soon. I really am trying to fix myself and take care of myself but sometimes it’s so hard to be happy. It almost feels like if I can’t be happy then he will leave because I’m just too tiring and too much to put up with.

Am I reading into this too much? How do I make myself happy and sustain this relationship?

[TaraMarie]

First off, I will say that a year seems like forever, but it will go by quicker than you thought. Secondly, get used to the idea that he is going to have a brand new experience and will be excited about it and he will most likely make new friends. You will get to share in his excitement and experience, but it will be virtual. And most likely you will feel left out and lonely, so that is the part you have to "hide". Now is the time to come up with new ideas to keep you two connected. This community will have a million of them and will happily share their ideas. You both need to commit to making it happen and staying together. You will get through this. We all do, if it's meant to be. However, that doesnt mean we don't all feel the same as you do at different times. I understand what you are going through. Since my husband and I closed the distance we have never been apart, except for business trips. He's the only one I want to be with and we are together 24/7. I remember how hard it was in the past, but we got through it and it's great now. Best of luck.

[Hannah93]

Hey dear !

I was thinking and feeling exactly the same as you!
I would say ease on him a bit, occupy yourself! Dont overthink!


My bf broke up with me saying what your were mentioning will happen with 'you' eventually ( hypothetically).

Bests,
H

[LisaS]

Hi! I just want to know that I’m feeling exactly what you’re feeling about getting sad, which then makes my boyfriend sad. We’ve been doing long distance for 5+ years now and he hasn’t broken up with me yet lol but I do feel like it can indirectly push him away. If you have the means to do so, you might want to consider seeing a therapist for guidance on managing emotions. Or you can find books on self-improvement to help with that. Also a year is not very long from now so you have a lot to look forward to! Hang in there!

[Rezie]

Tell yourself that it is only a year. It is a short time when you consider a lifetime.
The COVID is a bit of a bitch but get new friends, start a new hobby. Live your best life.

He will experience new awesome things. Encourage him and be there to listen when he is excited. Be there when he is sad. You can tell him when you are sad, but also tell the good things.

This might not be fair thing to say, however being in charge of someone elses happiness is tiring. This is suppose to be exciting for him. It doesn't mean that you cannot miss him. If you both live your best lives it will lead to a healthy ldr.