Okay so im new to this whole military thing not to mention LDR. We met in my hometown one night but he is not from here. Hes stationed in NC. and I live in Nashville so were about 10 hours apart. He is getting ready to deploy so he seems to be really busy with work and I guess i dont understand the stress hes under. Im struggling because we havent got to catch up that much this week and i miss him a lot. I tend to get insecure that hes backing off a little, but then again I have to remember his life is the Military. and I knew that going in it. Any suggestions on helping me understand the life of a military gf or anything? would be greatly appreciated! thank you!
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I'm kind of new to this military life as well, my SO and I started dating a little over 5 months ago but he has been stationed in Japan while I'm in NY for our whole relationship. We went through a very short deployment to Guam, but a deployment none the less. I went and visited him at the end of April and he was sent to Guam in the beginning of May. As his deployment date got closer he became busier and we talked less and less. I took it personally and got very upset, but it had nothing to do with me. He was stressed about leaving, he had a lot to take care of at work before he left. And I bet you that's what's going on with your SO. I know it's hard, but don't take it personally. When you do talk to him, just make sure you let him know how much you miss him and that he's on your mind, it'll mean a lot to him. Prepare yourself for when he does deploy. Depending on where he's going and what he's doing, you might not get to talk very often. For me, my boyfriend only called me once or twice a week if I was lucky. But as soon as he came home things were back to normal and life went on. It's hard being a military SO, but the obstacles you face and overcome only make your relationship that much stronger. If you need anymore advice or would like to chat, feel free to message me!
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First and foremost, welcome to the forum! you'll find plenty of help and advice from this community.
Also, welcome to military life, it isn't a easy one but it's one that is rewarding. I always say military relationship isn't for everyone because those involve has to be able to deal with a lot of alone time. There are times where one won't be able to communicate for days because of military duties, time differences, and deployments just to name a few. Always remember that you may never be his 1st priority as long as he is in the military. There are a lot of things he won't be able to share with you and he might seem distance at times. Since you SO is getting ready to deploy, there are tons of paperwork he needs to do before he gets ship out. Out processing can take up to days to finish because he needs to get a lot of documents sign before he leaves his current duty station. Just because he isn't communicating with you doesn't mean he isn't missing or thinking of you.
When you SO goes on deployment rely on email and skype to keep in contact. Communicate as often as possible but don't get upset when he isn't able to talk with you because he is busy with work. Keep yourself busy so you're not just waiting around to talk with your SO. Are you in school or working? That usually helps a lot because a majority of your time is taken up by either studying or working.
Good luck and hang in there
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My boyfriend and I met actually while he was on leave from Afghanistan. I was selling beet at the football game he was watching for a College project fund raiser. I still remember him showing up at my door in his ACU's smiling like an idiot and jumping to hug him...I think I fell in love with him just there.
The greatest part about being with a military SO is that he is very determined and dedicated. There are times when you can't really tell what he is really feeling because emotions can be seen as a weakness, but once you break through that and he shares everything with you he will always be there to count you in to his life.
I was unfortunately Long Distance to start off with after college getting a job in Asia since I'm Japanese...I never fully appreciated or got his military ways, but 7 years you grow up together and realize there are kinks to the relationship, but it always makes you stronger. I never regretted being in love with him or his military lifestyle...I just hope that he sees me in his future like I see him
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Yessss, yes, yes!!! I am also experiencing this! I just met my guy in person 2 weeks ago and about a week after meeting he found out he is getting deployed. He wasn't returning my calls and he has been hardly texting or calling since he found out. In fact, he called me once a few days ago to just tell me about the deployment. I started to freak out thinking he wasn't interested in me and doing a slow fade out or something. So glad it's not just me.Originally posted by aklove1990 View Post
Wow! I am glad to hear that this is total normal behavior and now that I know. I won't get offended.Originally posted by MegannnnLynnnn View PostComment
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This is a really sweet post ^_^ and very reassuring.Originally posted by rebelcadet View Post...I just hope that he sees me in his future like I see himComment
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Here is a guys perspective, at least the pain that I went through before I met my wife,Originally posted by FierceFoxie View Post
I met someone and we got along very well and everything seemed to click, but as soon as the convo got to my job I told her I was in the military, and right there she started to fade away. Needless to say the rest of the time talking didn't really go well.
Next up, I get tagged for a 2 week TDY and I tell my girlfriend at the time that I have to leave for two weeks, things went down hill from there very quick. She stopped texting me, stopped returning my calls and ignoring my emails. Needless to say I was really hurt over it
And us guys believe it or not we do talk about these things sometimes and there are horror stories you hear, such as Girlfriends/boyfriends/wives/husbands cheating on them, peps dumping them.
So consider that when you are talking to him. Have you told him that you are okay and willing to stay with him until after his deployment? Even us military guys need some confidence boosting sometimes. If you really do like this guy stick it out through this deployment, show him that you care, and you will get rewards in dividends when he comes backComment
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