the girl who left him back home.

[edgey_me]

i am in the coast guard. i am pretty much right out of bootcamp. my fiance proposed to me the day i graduated from basic training :]

i was just wondering if anyone on here is the guy left back from a female military member or maybe another male member. hes having a really hard time with being apart, as am i.
we miss each other like crazy and try to call each other as often as possible but its hard because im so busy and stressed with my new life.

i was hoping to find some stories of military husbands rather than military wife/ girlfriends.... does anyone know of any websites or is personally a military husband? any advice can help us but just looking for a male perspective... or maybe even if your in the coast guard since we are the smallest branch there is even less information out there.

thank you,
Kellsie

[ushiwakafox]

I'm sorry I don't apply here as far as being a military boyfriend, but I do have a lifetime of experience with military life so maybe I can be of some help.

A lot of what I see from the person "left behind" is typically if they don't have much of a military background, they don't quite understand that being in the military means your entire lifestyle is different. It revolves around your job. Being in the military means your priority is the military above all else, even him. I'm sure you know this, but a lot of SOs left behind don't understand. They are of course still a top priority, but your job must come before all else. So this may play a role in his anxiety, not having as much free time as him, not as available to vacation as him, among others.

One thing that does help is being in a community of people in similar situations, like LFAD. Being an active member of a community of others like him will help him, he'll be able to talk to others about his experiences and stresses. Another thing to keep in mind is that since you two are getting married (congrats by the way!) you'll never have to worry as much about money and stuff like that. Not nearly as much as the typical civilian. For as long as you are in the Coast Guard, you two will have a level of support and financial security that a lot of other people do not have, especially newly weds. Maybe reminding him of this will ease his worries.

I suppose my best advice to you/him is get involved in a community of others like him. It might be worth to broaden past the Coast Guard, since there isn't as big of a community as the military as a whole. There are some differences of course from branch to branch, but us military SOs do have enough in common with one another to be able to reach out give support to each other, regardless of branch. There are male SOs out there, but remember it is rare. Out of life time I've spent in AF life, I've only met a male dependent barely a handful of times.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you. Good luck with everything.