VENT TIME!! urgh!

[audrey92]

I'm just letting you know this is me venting, and if anything i offends anyone, i'm sorry ahead of time...

I am so sick of people acting like they understand the situation i am in, then tell me what i should do!! I mean, if you have never been in a LDR then please do not act like you understand anything that i am going through so please just shut up!
What i am talking about is, I was up at school the other day and i was talking to an old friend of mine about my SO because he asked me how he was doing, and how his A school was going. Then a random man desided he needed to put his thoughts in, which at first i had no problem with because he just showed an interest in what Dyl does. You know like asking what branch he is in and what his job is... simple things like that. Then when he thought it would be a good idea to tell me to leave, or find someone else is when i lost it! He informed me that it doesn't matter what feelings we have for each other because its never going to work anyway because of the distance and the fact that he is going to change. I hate to break it to the jack wagon but just because someone joins the military does not mean their entire personality is going to change!! Also, many woman and men make their relationships work, through distance because they love each other enough to work at it.
I guess i am just so angry because not only have me and Dyl been together for a while, but he was my bestfriend for years. The one person i could count on. Just because i don't see him doesn't mean i am not completely happy with him. I don't care if i only get to see him for one day out the entire year, he is worth it! our love is worth it! Because one day i know we won't have to say goodbye any more... only goodnight. Even if something did happen to him that made him change in anyway, I would still love him just the same. I will always be waiting for him and supporting him. No matter what! ok....end of vent!

[Amelia]

unfortunately there are people like that, and we have to deal with them. ive been told by even my friends that the relationship wont work because of the distance and i should move on. The problem is they dont get it they never will get it until they are in a LDR. I normally shut them up pretty quickly because i get sick of it. vent all you want

[audrey92]

Yea, I mean this isn't the first time i have ran into this, but for some reason when this man starting putting in his two sense on our relationship and the military... i lost it... I have that red head temper at times. lol! Thanks for listening

[MoveAlong92]

I think distance is never at fault, but people like to blame it for making relationship not last
I guess they never felt what its like to really love someone and not wanting to let that someone go, no matter what~

[Jgui]

Some people don't see LRD as being a real relationship because we're not doing the things a couple would do if they were CD. But those closed mind people needs to understand just because someone is enlisted in the military doesn't mean they will change their personality. Yes, boot camp does train them to be more tough and some can say they might come out being somewhat emotionless. But that doesn't mean it will happen to everyone. Deployments are one of the hardest things to deal with when one is in a relationship with an active duty member, but the honorable feeling you get knowing you're their backbone pushes military SO to stand strong. As the quote says, "being every strong soldier is an even stronger woman."

My friends have said the same things to me before, asking me if it's worth it being with someone whom i can't see on a regular basis and knowing that when he's deployed i'll be alone for a long period of time and there is also the possibility that he may not be coming back home. I've contemplated those exact thoughts in my mind before and I've came to the conclusion that I will stand by him no matter what happens.

So those people who don't understand just needs to shove their thoughts and opinion where the sun don't shine!

[hrp2007]

Oh I understand completely, people tell me all the time that a phone/texting relationship is not a relationship...well it is a relationship that's just how we communicate when we are not together physically. Just don't worry about what people say, you can't please everyone, and in the end there is not point in trying too anyways.

[ilovemymarine]

& when people see their SO atleast twice a week whine about the fact they miss them. SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

[Sharon Q]

They whine because they've never had to be away from their person for that long. They don't understand

[ChunLo]

Yes, when they never experience it before their judgment on it is different from us. But really, stop judging. Don't assume that just because they are long distance that they will cheat on us. Give me a break. Even the ones who actually lives close together has issues. The thing they need to realize is that distance is not what breaks the relationship. It's how weak the couples are in their relationships that makes the relationship fail. Yes there are failed LDR's but that is probably because one or the other person couldn't handle it. But the ones that works are the one who feels that it is worth it to make it work. It is the same for all relationships not just LDRs.

[rubydissolution]

& when people see their SO atleast twice a week whine about the fact they miss them. SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Ok look I was in an ldr for a year and a half and yes its far more painful to be away from someone for months at a time but don't pick on people who are in CD relationships and miss their SOs after an hour or a few days or a few weeks. You don't want to be judged so don't judge others.

I'm in a CD relationship now and its such a diff dynamic that u can't even compare the two. I miss him every minute we aren't together BC I'm used to seeing him all the time. And u miss ur SO the same. The second u get on that plane to say goodbye u miss them.

Just saying u don't want people to pick on u n judge ur relationship. Well that shoe fits both ways.

[jbble]

& when people see their SO atleast twice a week whine about the fact they miss them. SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Yeah... I was on another site reading about long distance relationship stuff, and someone was complaining how it was so hard to only get to spend weekends with each other. I'm not sure it even counts as long distance if you can drive to one another every single weekend.

[delightful]

I really don't think that there is any specific kind of checklist that defines what is and isn't a long distance relationship. I don't necessarily think that the distance really defines it either, but rather how often you get to be with your SO in person is more what makes it difficult. If I lived down the street from my SO but for some reason only got to see him once a month or so, I would still consider myself to be in the same kind of position that I'm in now; even though I'm 3500 miles away.

I really think the whole point of this forum is to support each other and not nit-pick over the finer details or who does or doesn't have it worse than someone else. Not seeing the person you love is hard enough without other people telling you that it's not warranted for you to miss them because you get to see them every second weekend when they only see their SO once or twice a year. But then again, that's just my own personal opinion.

[Hollandia]

This keeps coming up and so I am just going to say my peace about it. I can see both sides of this fence and I think what is really true is just respect for other members. There are tiers and it is also not fair to say there are not.

Let's just say, give or take, we have members that are:

10 thousand miles apart, 12 hours and see each other once a year.
6 thousand miles apart , 10 hours and see each other every 6 months.
3 thousand miles apart , 6 hours and see each other every 3 months. (this is pretty much me)
2 thousand miles apart, 4 hours and see each other every 2 months.
1 thousand miles apart, 2 hours and see each other every 6 weeks.
500 miles apart, 1 hour and see each other every 3 weeks.
less than 500, no time difference and see each other ever 1-2 weeks or less.

We also have members that are in the same country or union and have no legal boundaries or visa restrictions when they see each other or close the distance and members that do. We have members that have no kids and/or sick relatives that make moving impossible and members that do. We have members that are in the military and/or their SO's are and have obligations for years that will keep them moving from location to location at the need of their government.

And we have many that fall in between any of categories and/or mix and match with others.

There are differences and to say that "we all are just LDRs" is just being PC to me. Yes, we all are, but we also have tiers of how much we each endure and I am amazed at those that fall into the larger gaps and I envy those that fall into the smaller gaps. This is the cold hard truth about how I feel about it. I do however still respect all the other members LDRs. I especially give my thanks to those in any military ones because they deserve it.

[80anthea]

'There are differences and to say that "we all are just LDRs" is just being PC to me. Yes, we all are, but we also have tiers of how much we each endure and I am amazed at those that fall into the larger gaps and I envy those that fall into the smaller gaps. This is the cold hard truth about how I feel about it. I do however still respect all the other members LDRs. I especially give my thanks to those in any military ones because they deserve it.'

I completely agree with this, there are situations on here I am very envious of but I'm sure there are others who are envious of my situation. There's nothing wrong with that feeling, envy is a different emotion to resentment.

[digitalfever]

& when people see their SO atleast twice a week whine about the fact they miss them. SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

I don't understand this misguided and even selfish entitlement. You are in a long distance relationship but that does not mean you have a profound, life altering monopoly on the emotion and concept of missing someone. Everyone has different experiences, everyone makes different choices and you choose to be in a long distance relationship.