New Found Love with a Sailor =]

[snraya0609]

I have never been in a long distance relationship before so everything is new to me. We started dating at the beginning of the year and didn't even spend time together until early this month. I've known since I was in second grade so I knew him before. I came in to this not really expecting to fall so hard, it is wonderful. =] But there is also the lonely side of it. I constantly miss him. I think it got worse after I saw him this month. I feel bad because I feel like I say "I miss you too" often. I feel like I'm constantly tredding the line between being overly emotional and just being in love. I know he misses me too but he is better with the distance than I am. How do I cope/work through all of these new emotions and feelings I am having?? I need some advice. =[

[missyoulove]

My fiance is a Sailor too!

Enjoy the good feelings and recognize that you miss him and that it's never going to go away. It does however, get easier.

Talking to him whenever you can will help. Writing letters and sending packages helped us a lot. It's nice when I'm missing him sometimes to read some of the letters he's sent me. Skype dates are nice. We sometimes play battleship during our Skype dates which is a lot of fun. Look around this website because there are a lot of great ideas/resources that can help.

If you can find someone to talk to that at least somewhat understands your situation, that will help. Make sure you get out and do things and do things that you enjoy. If you are artistic writing or drawing can help too. Find a fun way to exercise; maybe you can join a sports team.

When it really comes down to it, it's not that difficult. I'm thankful that I was able to meet my fiance and confident that there's no better match for me. This makes the distance, waiting, and stress worth it. For me dealing with all of that is better than giving up.

[bekah]

I'm so grateful for this thread because I just got into a long distance relationship with a sailor as well. I have no idea what to do about it.

[Jess!]

You should understand that LD is hard. Being hard means you'll spend lots of time being sad and missing that person and that is normal! You feel in love but you feel lonely. It is not like you are CD and you miss him all the time when he is with his friends.

Just don't onverthink it too much and believe in yourself and your feelings. That is normal and with time you'll cope better with that, learning tricks that help you day by day!

Also, I really like when my partner says he misses me it's not needy or too much. Being LD I believe people like that you let them know with your words and self-made presents that you love them! It helps me!

[3773519]

Not that Im thankful that we all here are going through the motons of a LDR, but I am glad to have found a place where I'm not the only one going through it. I recently reconnected with a friend of the family. Hes been a marine for 15 years and even though hes not an active marine right now, hes away over seas working for the govt. we reconnected (and honestly its really the first time we talk since we never used to cross paths in the past) in March and just last month he came home for a month and we got to see each other face to face and spend time together. Hes now back in Afganistan and wont be back till Dec. This is all new to me as well so I too am coping with the missing him and trying to keep busy. Distance is tough but not impossible. Staying focus that hes coming home eventually keeps me positive. We skype almost every night, we fb chat thru the day,( even with the huge time difference-sacrifices) and he calls from time to time. I got a few good ideas here on this website, like the personalized crossword puzzles. I send stuff all the time. I try to make sure every 2-3 weeks i send a card.

[Sailorgirl]

Hello there
I am in the Navy and so is my boyfriend, and we spend the first year of our relationship serving on the same unit so we saw each other every day.At the beginning of the year I moved to a different unit and got the shock of him sailing without me, which was a massive change for me! Am now posted oversea, and he is about to go on deployment until Christmas.

The best advice I can give is to try not to dwell on the negatives, which I know is hard. Also, try not to feel mad or blame him for being away often ( I know I have done this a few times) just remember he will miss you too, and what you say to him can really make his day and keep his morale high. When I first moved overseas, when my boyfrindntold me he missed me and wanted to see me it made me feel guilty and upset, but once we talked about it we make sure we communicate more on a "I can't wait to see you and so this and that etc" rather than "I wish you were here so we could be doing this" it really makes an difference. Try planning things together whilst he is working, it gives you something to look forward to, like a trip or holiday or even just planning what you will do with your time together when he returns home.

Hope this helps

[stormy]

When I first moved overseas, when my boyfrindntold me he missed me and wanted to see me it made me feel guilty and upset, but once we talked about it we make sure we communicate more on a "I can't wait to see you and so this and that etc" rather than "I wish you were here so we could be doing this" it really makes an difference. Try planning things together whilst he is working, it gives you something to look forward to, like a trip or holiday or even just planning what you will do with your time together when he returns home.

Thank you for this part. I always want to make sure that he knows how much I miss him but am definitely worried about making him feel crappy when not meaning to. I will try to use your formula more often.

Thanks again!