already feeling neglected..

[bekah]

I have known my SO for 3 years on and off, and been dating for about a week now. We are both adults and have already realized we love each other from the first day he came back to see me. But we had our first Skype date scheduled for today.

When he got out of school we started texting and I couldn't get Skype to work on my computer so he went to the store while i tried to figure it out. I got it ready in 15 min. By that time he asked if we could skype later cause he wanted to hang with friends. I told him i had plans with my family that night to go to a cookout. But i said that i could take my computer with me and we can do it there. Then he said we could just do it another day cause he wanted to go to a hooka bar.

This upsets me a lot because i havnt seen his face is 9 days. I could have worked tonight, but i made the time off so we could do this and i made it a priority in my day. He seemed super excited about it and then just kind of blows it off knowing i have to work all weekend and wont get another chance till Thursday night if i'm lucky..

Am i getting upset for nothing or is this something i should discuss with him. I dont want to be the needy clingy person, but this really did hurt my feelings and make me feel like he just doesnt care even thought he says he does and he acts like he does most time.

[kikidee]

i had this problem with my SO in the beginning as well. (he's in the airforce) It really isn't clingy if you made a date. Because you are apart, and this is now long distance, these skype dates are like real dates. If it was a real date, would it be cool to blow that off? No. If this happens again, I would voice it to him. Say something along the lines of, "We don't get to see each other very often, and I would like to at least see you the one day we plan to. It makes me feel like you don't care." When you let them know what is upsetting you, your SO should want to make you happy. It isn't clingy unless you are mad he isn't skyping with you EVERY DAY. 9 Days without seeing him? I'd be pissed Good luck!

[Tooki]

It's a valid thing to be annoyed about it. This is no different to cancelling a close-distance date.

[bekah]

Thank y'all for helping me feel better about being upset. I was going to go out and drink with people but i'm a recovering sex addict and recovering drug addict, so i thought better of it. I (while still livid with him, we have not talked about it yet and I am not texting him till tomorrow unless he texts me first) decided to do something nice for him while i was mad and got something cute for our alone time when i see him next.

I think i'll start doing that as a habit, when i'm really mad at him.. try to do something nice, sweet, caring for him, and then talk to him about it later when i've calmed down.

[lyonsgirl]

while still livid with him, we have not talked about it yet and I am not texting him till tomorrow unless he texts me first)

Please don't do this. It usually ends poorly for both parties involved. It feels too much like "because he was mean to me I'm going to give him the silent treatment". I admit, I've done it to my FH before. I later admitted it to him because I got so fed up with it because he wouldn't talk to me. He had no idea what was going on, and it turned into a HUGE and completely unnecessary argument. So not worth the time or effort for that one.

[chizatlauren]

Wow, this sounds a lot like my SO before. He would always tell me to just go on Skype when he goes back from wherever (strip clubs, date with his buddies) and I feel really neglected. I think you should do what I did too. Set an ultimatum. Talk heart to heart and tell him that you need a specific time that you two should talk. it can be ten minutes everyday or any time that both of you are available to talk.

But if he's not been responding to you for nine days, I guess that guy needs to man up and tell you what the problem is. It's unfair for you.

[bekah]

Oh, we've talked over the 9 days.. just no skype.. I havnt been able to see his face other than the pics i have. But we did talk about it. He thought i was neglecting him because i told him later in the night I was going to spend time with my parents, and I thought he was going neglecting me because early in the evening he was going to go out with his buddies (which turned into an all night thing cause he was mad i was "pushing him aside")..

We talked it though and have decided that when we set a date, it is first priority. When we set a date to see each other face to face, it is first priority.

I also took the time to explain to him what i mean when i tell him i love him (even though i was afraid it would scare him off), cause i dont say it lightly. To me it means i'm going to stick with you even if we're fighting, if things go bad, if i fall out of love with you.. because i know i can fall back in love with you and it'll be better than ever.. because he is such an amazing person..

Thank everyone for your support though this though. =)