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Do you guys find it hard not to feel jealous or paranoid?

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    Do you guys find it hard not to feel jealous or paranoid?

    Sometime when my SO is away at sea, and he goes alongside somewhere, I really have to try my hardest to act excited and happy for him, even though it often eats away at me! I find myself feeling bitter that he is somewhere fun (usually a hot country, frollocking on the beach!) And I am stuck at my job missing him all the time.
    I always know its irrational and a bit unfair, as I am now based in Belgium away from our home, which was my choice. But does anyone else sometimes feel this way?

    I know personally how hard it is to be away at sea and how good it feels to get some down time in a foreign port, but I never thought I would feel like this about him being away without me!

    #2
    It's good you realize those feelings are unfair, now you just have to try working on them. You don't tell him these thoughts do you?

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      #3
      I definitely can relate. I've come to realize that it isn't so much what he's doing/who he's with that I'm jealous of... I think it's mostly me wishing I could be with him, too. I think that's the nature of a long distance relationship. I think as long as your feelings aren't preventing him from doing things, or creating too much negative tension within your relationship, then no lines are being crossed. My SO is aware that I have these types of feelings from time to time (because sometimes he feels the same way about me) and does a wonderful job making me feel like a consistent priority regardless of whatever else he may be doing.

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        #4
        I'm jealous of anyone near my SO, not for any reason other than they are close to her and I'm not lol, I trust her, don't think she would do anything bad, just miss her :P, I understand how you feel, I have been there, try not to think to much, he's probably thinking the same about you, and look at you, your doing nothing wrong right?

        "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



        1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
        2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
        3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
        4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
        5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
        6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
        7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
        Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
        UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

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          #5
          Like Matt, I'm jealous that people get to spend time with her and I do not. Otherwise I trust her 100% and she trusts me as well.

          "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
          Married April 18th, 2015!!
          Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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            #6
            Sometimes. I'm just insecure like that. But I think if you work on strengthening the bond between you, it's going to get better over time, it does for me. Just remember to treat him as an ally, not an opponent.

            Like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. - Steve Jobs

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              #7
              Before my SO and I started dating, he would go out to the bar with his buddies every weekend and hang out. When we started getting closer, before dating, he would even text me when he'd go out with this friends drinking and what not. Now that we're together he rarely goes out drinking with his friends, only when there's a good WWE fight on or something. And he still texts me when he's out, but I trust him and know nothing would happen so I give him his space and let him have a good time without being the nagging girlfriend that's suspicious of every little thing he does.

              I think there's a bit of jealousy and insecurity with every LDR, and it takes time to adjust to it and to compensate for the distance by other means. I agree with what everyone has said on this post; it's completely normal just as long as you don't burden your SO with your insecurities. The moment he feels guilty for just going out and spending time with his friends because it makes you upset, is when it's starting to go down a bad path.
              We've got each other and that's a lot
              For love - we'll give it a shot
              ]

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                #8
                All your replies are spot on. Its not a trust thing, after hearing your views I can see its just that I wish it was me having all those fun times with him.
                I never tell him this, it usually passes quickly and I do find it as worse when I am sitting at home not doing much. I'm trying to make ensure I do as much fun stuff as he gets to do, and if I am out with my friends and he is out with his I feel a lot better when I am occupied

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                  #9
                  I feel like that sooo often. I wish I was there and I get jealous and I always know it's unfair and silly but can't help it...only if I do something that's more exciting..yes I am total ******, but you are not alone.

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