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    #1

    Rethinking

    Alright, so I was on here for a while with my guy problem, in the thread in this board, " Unknown Territory " It's been officially 11 days since I've talked to him. After we texted back and forth for about 5 hours that day, with him seemingly excited to talk to me, and interested in what I was doing, he just stopped again, no response around 7 pm. He was out with friends, but still. Needless to say, I know it's been 10 days, but I've been trying to move on. It seems crazy, I know, since I've never even met this guy, but I can't explain the connection we had. So I was doing some thinking, and realized, that since we met on a dating site, I should look into some of the different habits in relations to his habits. Well, for about a week, he hadn't logged in on the site, I logged in almost every day, ( partly to see if he was, and he wasn't for weeks on end, while we were talking, and the other part to get rid of my notifications so they wouldn't blow up my inbox. ) and then, right before he distanced himself suddenly, he logged in. So I'm wondering, if he was doing something similar to what I was ( I know this is way over thinking, but bare with me ) and I know we had talked about peeves in a relationship. I remember that his number one, was someone not being committed to a relationship. So I'm thinking, what if he thinks that I was still talking to other people, etc, while we were talking? Because, now that he hasn't been talking to me, he's on every single day.

    So there's my dilemma. If it IS that, it's something that is really hindering an otherwise really good opportunity, BUT, I don't know how to bring it up or anything without sounding like a stalker. Regardless I'd like some sort of closure on what happened, I mean, this guy went from sending me goofy pictures of himself on a day to day basis, and texting all day, to nothing, right in correlation with his logins. Seems too coincidental for me. During the time we talked, I did show him in small ways that I was interested, but I mostly let him take the reins and initiate the flirting and what not, and I kinda played it cool, was it TOO cool? Maybe he just legit thought I wasn't interested and thought, why bother? What do you all think/what are some different angles I can approach this?

    Any help would be appreciated guys, I've been wracking my brain and have no idea what to do. I REALLY like this guy, or I wouldn't bother!
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    #2
    If you have this kind of trouble in the beginning, I don't see much of a future even if you manage to keep in touch. If someone drops the conversation, it usually means that they don't want it anymore AND are shy of conflict. I bet even he thinks it is strange he does not want to talk to you anymore, so what can he say about it? Read up on commitment phobia, that explains behaviour like this.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      Thankyou, does anyone else have any ideas from the other perspective though? Like I said, I wouldn't care if this hadn't been really special.

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        #4
        I agree with DC. You don't hang out on dating sites daily when you want to be in a relationship with someone. This would be a deal breaker for me and shows he is not that into you, it is time to move on, it might have been really special to you, but not to him. It takes two to make a relationship work no matter how much one wants it too.
        "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
        Benjamin Franklin

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          #5
          I know you're hoping for other perspectives, but I can't give you any, the other two posters are right. It sounds like he's looking again, and if you're actually interested in someone, you don't ignore them for 11 days, you just don't. I am sorry, but I think it's time to walk away, for whatever reason, he's no longer into it.
          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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            #6
            I say this in the nicest possible way.. if you yourself think your behavior could seem stalker-like, you're probably not doing the healthiest things.

            I know you really like him and it was a special thing, but unfortunately sometimes these things end. It sounds like you need to let it go. He probably didn't even notice how often you logged on to the dating site, and if he did and it bothered him, he'd probably have said something. Something like how many times people log on to a site isn't really going to be a dealbreaker.. I know you're kinda hoping it is so that you could contact him and "clear it up" that you weren't talking to other guys, but it doesn't work like that. From his behavior, I'd say he's not interested in pursuing a relationship. It sucks, but you need to move on.
            Good luck!

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