Hello, I would appreciate advice. I've been struggling with feelings of either him being distant or me being to clingy. Me and my SO have been dating since the end of last year. So not very long. We met two years ago, I vaguely remember him, he introduced himself multiple times, he didn't make much of an impression I guess at the time. Anyways he pursued me for a year and I wasn't interested in a long distance relationship. Long story short we ended up runing into each other again. We spent one day together I came back home and he bought a ticket two days later to come see him. Then I went to see him in jan I wasn't going start a relationship but he asked multiple times and the last trip sold me on him, and I left convinced that I would make it work i guess. I'm crazy about him. Well on top of us being long distance he's in the military and about to leave. Well he used to purise and talk to me constantly, now he never has time for me. Or he doesn't want to talk on the phone stuff like that. Well I just starting doubting it and I was going break it off and we had a long talk and I didn't. He said he was crazy about me. And things were greaT. It's getting like that again where he's distance and I ask advice and guys say that I'll push him away and he's stressed and busy and I'm making it worse but i miss him and don't think I'm asking much for him to call me or face time more often. And it hurts because I feel if he likes me as much as he claims he would want to talk to me. So I've been a little distant the last couple days and i don't think it fazes him. ...that was longer then I expected. Sorry. My first instinct is just to call it off, but I'm crazy about him but it just hurts that I feel he doesn't make time for me
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Don't give up on him just yet. I sincerely doubt his distance is anything personal. "About to leave" as in being deployed, or he's almost done in the military? I'm sure that has to be a hectic situation either way, and he may not necessarily have the time or energy to do much other than take care of that first and foremost. My sister and her husband are in the military, and I know when things got kinda significant for them involving army stuff, the rest of us wouldn't really hear much from either of them for a little bit.
As for the guys saying you'll push him away, I would take that advice with a grain of salt. Of course you don't want to nag him, but communication is very important in any relationship. If you can, it would probably be best to talk to him about how you're feeling. Let him know that you understand he's busy with the military at the moment, and although you don't want to get in the way, you would like to hear from him a little more if he can. Don't make it sound like you're demanding something from him that he may not have the time to give. I'm sure he means it when he says he's crazy about you.
My s/o tends to be distant when his schedule gets ridiculous. We only have skype at the moment, which he can't always use to talk if he has to wait for one of his bosses to call etcetc. I tend to miss him a lot, too, and start to feel clingy because of it. So, I talked to him about how I was feeling. I also made it clear to him that I understand his work comes first, and I'm in no way trying to get in the way of that, but it'd be nice to at least get a "Hey busy day but I'm still alive" every once in a while. He agreed to that, so now even when he gets busy, I do still at least get a quick message to keep me in the loop. It's not perfect, but it lets me know he's still thinking about me.
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Thank you for that. Yes, he's deploying and it worries me communication will only get worst. Also we've had these talks before, were I've told him that I understand but would appreciate a little more because I feel like I'm loosing him and he makes the effort for the week after the talk and that's it
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