Taking things nice and sloooow

[Linds2015]

I have been talking/skyping/emailing my man-friend since June 2014. He was an old acquaintance from my undergrad that I hadn't ever really talked to but always smiled at from a distance. He started liking my pictures on Facebook so I decided to post a private message and that is how we ended up talking until he was deployed 3 weeks later. During his deployment we kept in touch via email and were trying to learn about each other but it wasn't the easiest thing to do. I was very very interested in him and wasn't sure where he stood. He mentioned he had been talking to someone else while he was talking to me so that kind of took a little of my confidence away but we were only friends, nothing serious. I ended up feeling like he wasn't interested after not hearing from him for a couple weeks so I figured I should emotionally step back because I was clearly getting caught up in emotions that could have led to hurt. I ended up emailing him that I thought we should just be friends instead of pursue anything because I didn't like the whole distance aspect. A couple weeks later I changed my mind, he was a bit confused but we decided to start chatting more since he was back from deployment. Texting, talking on the phone for hours at a time and skyping for hours. We would talk everyday and he made it a point to tell me sweet dreams and goodnight Finally, after a couple months of emails and skyping he invited me to his parents' house for the weekend to meet him and his folks, all at the same time! I was a bit taken back that he invited me but really excited to see what it would be like for us to be together in person.

The whole time he treated me like his girlfriend...we held hands, kissed (even in front of his conservative parents), and snuggled. Everything was very respectful and nice Leaving there I felt like we were a couple but he hasn't made it known that it's ok to make it FB official. I would say we are...he says we are dating and he's told other girls that he is not interested. I'm really happy with him even though this distance sucks. I just hope and pray he comes back safely and still has the same feelings. We just emailed back and for about one of my friends' weddings and he mentioned that he is not sure if he's ever going to get married. Not exactly something I was hoping to hear. I feel like the signs are all there as far as him liking and committing to me but I am a bit nervous about investing in a growing relationship if there isn't going to be marriage in the long term. He mentioned that it would be a long time off, which granted I'm in no crazy rush but it would be nice to know I'm not wasting my time. Does anyone have any input? I should mention, he has not been in a real "relationship" in 6 years and I have been married and divorced for 1 1/2 yrs. I am learning so much patience, I really just hope it will be worth it in the end. I do trust him and feel if he didn't want to talk to me he would straight up tell me because that's just the way he is. Thanks for the advice! This is a whole new thing for me!

[R&R]

The only person that can give you the answers to your questions is him. Communication is key in all relationships (friendships or romantic) and it sounds like right now it is especially important as you aren't exactly sure where you stand. There is nothing wrong with saying to him that you are not interested in dating anyone else but that you would like to ask/confirm if you are in an exclusive relationship.

As far as marriage, no need to rush worrying about that. Both my SO and I have said we'd never get married again (we've each been married 3 times....yes, I know lol) but we have now decided that it is something we do want to do. People can change their minds sometimes when they meet that right one. So for now, I'd say just enjoy getting to know each other better and taking it one step at a time is a good course of action.