Relationships in the Legion

[JJbrooks]

Bear with me as this is my first post on a forum.

I met my partner about 8 months ago in France where I was travelling and he was intent on joining the French Foreign Legion. We more or less fell head over heels in about three days.

So he is there, I am here. However, this seems like an entirely unpractical arrangement for us. It's not like the US military where you can have a partner and visit back and forth, or live on a base together. In the Legion you're a single man, on a five year contract and that's it.

He seems to think that we can make it work, but I really have no idea how. Would I like to? Of course, but I've never heard of this succeeding for five years of separation. Has anyone had a spouse in the FFL, or know of anyone that has and it hasn't ended in disaster?

There is no information anywhere, and I'm thinking it's because it's ridiculous to think this is going to work.

[whatruckus]

No one here that I know of has an SO in the FFL, but there are plenty of couples on here who have made the distance work for years. My former SO and I made it work for 3 years before he changed and things fell apart. It partly had to do with the distance, but mostly didn't.

Do understand that being with someone in the Military, should you choose to go forward with your relationship, can be more work than a "regular" LDR can be. The military is their life, and they're basically "owned" by it. My former SO was Army National Guard, not as bad as Active Duty, but still. Army came first, especially the other guys in his Unit.

Most LDR's rely on the fact that both parties involved need to be fully committed and understand that it takes work. A lot of work. But, if both of you are willing and able, it'll be easier. And, it can work. We have lots of success stories on here. Both with Civilian relationships, and Military relationships.

It really comes down to whether or not you feel you can make this work. You already said that he feels you guys can. But, like I said, it requires both parties to put the effort in and be positive. If you can't get past the fact that you think it won't work, it won't.

My former SO had a negative attitude about us a lot of the time, and didn't believe that I would stick around (he'd been burned many times by his exes, and he deals with Depression/Anxiety/PTSD). Needless to say, his negativity impacted our whole relationship. He never put in as much effort as I did. I started resenting him. He started resenting me for not being able to move sooner. So, he broke up with me.