Leaving soon, but no talk about the future?

[wlove]

Hi everyone!
This is my first post EVER, but here goes nothing...

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about three years, but we have been in a serious relationship for the past year and a half, and about 5 or 6 months of that time has been long distance already. He has never been a very emotional person, and usually I have been okay with that. He graduated college in the spring, and decided to do Spec-Ops for the Air Force. I am still in college, at least until December, and then I will graduate. He is set to leave November 15th, and I have been supportive through his whole process. He has always known this is what he wants to do, and I am so proud that he is going after his dreams. BUT... he IS leaving me. I was never part of the equation, and now that I am it complicates things, for both of us. He just likes to pretend everything is fine and doesn't want to talk about the future at all... But I need to. Its a SIX YEAR contract, I don't know how I could commit to a LDR for 6 years! I am not even out of school yet, I don't have my own career path... I don't even know where I want to live. Everything is so indefinite and the fact that my rock will no longer be my rock just shakes me to the core. But when I bring this up to him he says I am overreacting, and that he just wants to go with the flow and see where things go. But I don't operate that way... I don't want to make this personal commit to someone who can't tell me how they feel or aren't willing to compromise enough to even have the conversation with me. He means so much to me and I know I mean a lot to him, but I also know that relationships through the military are really hard. He says that I am just focusing on the bad, and I am obsessing over it and not focusing on myself enough, but I disagree; I think that whatever I chose will have a profound impact on my life.

I guess what I am just trying to ask everyone is what they think about the situation. I feel like he isn't committed enough to uphold the relationship for the duration of his (LONG!) contract, and that makes me so vary about taking that leap with him. I love him so much, but we have never had talks about staying together into the long future, or marriage, or anything like that, like it seems like so many people on here have.
So what do you guys think? What does it sound like I am getting myself into, and am I really over reacting or should I just keep my mouth shut and try to stick it out for as long as I can, and enjoy the next month and a half he is (sort of) around. Thanks, loves!

<3 wlove

[Redheart14]

You need to clearly express these concerns with him. Don't let him tell you you're overreacting. Tell him exactly what you wrote here about how you're not sure if you can wait 6 years. You both need to be on the same page and at the moment you're not. Try again to express your feelings to him, you both need to know where you stand on this.

[wlove]

Thanks for replying, Redheart14!

I have been bringing up concerns for the past two or three months occasionally, when I feel like it would be a good time to talk.

The response I get is that I do this "Everyday" and why can't I just relax because I am ruining the relationship. The other thing he says continually is that this stress that im putting on the relationship isn't what I should be doing, I should be helping. It is a little bit crushing when he says I do this "everyday" because I strategically pick the times I think it would be smart to bring it up... and the rest of the time we are perfectly fine, no fights or anything of the like. It is very frustrating.

<3 wlove