How do I deal with a LDR with someone in the Army, and parent's who don't understand?

[russellgirl95]

Hi there!

So my boyfriend and I (I'm 21 and he is 19) met about 3 years ago, we met at work, I was waiting tables and he was the dishwasher. We hit it off but were never able to get a relationship going because either he had a girlfriend or I had a boyfriend. We always tried to keep in touch and soon became best friends. Before he left for basic we had talked about me doing a cake for his going away party but it never happened and he never said goodbye. I came to find out that there wasn't much of a party and he knew he would have been more upset saying goodbye to me rather than his girlfriend at the time. It wasn't a huge deal to me, I would have liked to say goodbye, but I understood. When he came back, we saw each other for 20 minutes, and were suppose to have lunch. Some things came up and I never heard from him. We talked and I told him I was hurt by that but we made up and I've moved on from it.

I know that doesn't make him sound that great but he really is. And he is constantly proving that to me. We both love each other and are in this for the long haul. However, my parents only know the bad things about him and so they don't understand why we are together. Like they've forgotten that they were once young and dumb.

The long distance is already hard enough without having to convince my parents that he is a really good guy. Any advice??

[sasad]

Be responsible, don't lie to them. Maybe have him skype with them down the line? Do your parents not understand the army?!?
In their defense, it's not they were young and dumb, rather it's their child that they think is being played.
So you met 3 years ago..have you dated in person?

[russellgirl95]

I understand that they are just watching out for me, and they want better for me. It just becomes a little frustrating when they were in a similar boat to me but they won't acknowledge that. We never got the opportunity to date in person.

[sasad]

Give it time.. You are just 30 days into this relationship. Show them you are being mature and be open about what is going on. I assume you also still live at home? I know you are a legal adult, but its so much nicer when everyone gets along. Again, have him say Hi when you are skyping etc. Time is the best answer for showing you are serious.

[hmrambling]

The two of you used to work together and now he's in the Army. It could be that your parents understand just perfectly that an Army man will travel where ever Uncle Sam wants him to go. That was the case for me. They might see that he's young and might take advantage of the opportunity to travel. I was the Army's little volunteering fool. I traveled every place that the Army was willing to bring me. A lot of parents don't want that for their daughters/sons. They want someone who will be there for their daughter/son.

For me, my relationship was secondary. Sure I loved my girlfriends, but I didn't turn down the opportunity to travel. I also got wrapped up in the barracks life, which means single barracks (partying). I had a lot of fun. Parents aren't stupid. Army guys have a bad wrap for being promiscuous. No parent wants to see their son/daughter being treated any less that the awesome person that they are.

Give your parents time and give the relationship time. Take time to get to know him and don't rush things. You say you are in it for the long haul. I encourage you to take time in the relationship and really get to know him.