Need serious advice

[dalexis7]

So I'm dating an extremely kind and loving military man. He's stationed in Florida and I'm attending a college in Virginia. We've been back together for almost four months now and the distance is seriously getting to me. Plane tickets are draining my bank account and I feel like I'm losing sight of the point. What's the end game supposed to be? How do you stay optimistic when you're so far away from your SO all the time? Any advice/words of wisdom will be helpful!

[Harlequin]

The end game is something you should talk with him about, but generally the end game is closing the distance. Only you two will know when and how you want to close the distance, but generally speaking, it involves marriage. It's the only guaranteed way you can close the distance and be with him in the same home. If he's a career guy, that'll mean a LOT to be together guaranteed. Since you're still in school and have only been together 4 months, I wouldn't worry about marriage right now.

If plane tickets are draining your bank account, then space out the visits so you're not hemorrhaging money. Start doing things like skype dates and care packages. The point of the relationship is that you care about each other very dearly, and you want to be together. Distance is only temporary, and it's going to suck real bad sometimes. When I'm really feeling the distance, I try to remind myself that it's only temporary. Since I'm getting married soon, I also look at my little countdown app on my phone so I can see the distance closing day by day. My s/o is also my greatest motivator to do well, because I remind myself that I'm doing it for our future. We also give each other pep talks all the time, and our conversations are generally very lovey-dovey. So basically, getting through the distance is going to require love and support for and from each other. It sucks, but you can do it!

[sasad]

Yup... my SO is in Florida and I am in VA.. we are lucky to have disposal incomes but hate spending on tickets. If you buy in advance far enough you can get better deals. Best one so far was 90 bucks round trip! We fly with united and get all the points too! We have enough to fly round trip to Japan .

Communications and trust are the most important in your relationship either CD or LD. Make the time to be together, but make sure you are able to be yourself apart. Hobbies, friends, the gym... all things you do for you.

Our end game is marriage. We talk about it all the time. It's just the when now.

So, as hard as it is, keep on living without him. Learn to live together with him. Trust each other and TALK!

[Loveyoumore]

The end game is closing the distance & being with the one you love. The distance does get heard i'm not even going to lie,but the more busy you are outside of your relationship the easier it is to handle the distance. You have to have a plan, skype dates, phone calls, letters something to keep the romance going and the interest there. You can do this hun. Listening to music helps alot when just want to escape & decompress, so does crying & talking with your SO. PM me if you want.

[hmrambling]

Definitely considering budgeting wisely around travel. When I was in an LDR that was 1300 miles away, we hoped to see each other every month. We were draining our accounts. Even though I searched for bargain flights, changes would come up and those changes got expensive fast.

The end game is what you two talk about and decide that it's going to be. If neither of you have a realistic plan to close the distance, or if you are too new to know that you want to be together, then your immediate goal is to get to know each other and then talk about what the end game is going to be.

I stay optimistic by remembering that while there is distance I am afforded the opportunity to work on myself, socialize with family and friends, spend time on hobbies, and grow my relationship by learning more about my partner. We do have a plan for the future, and we are working toward that plan.

Because he's in the military, I would encourage you to contemplate if you are okay with him traveling and not having a life that is stationed in one place for a long period of time. I was in the military and couldn't fathom why anyone would be interested in someone as mobile as I was... but some folks are cut out for that. Some folks aren't. Are you okay with accepting that he will need to travel for his work and that he may get activated to go overseas?

[Chris516]

So I'm dating an extremely kind and loving military man. He's stationed in Florida and I'm attending a college in Virginia. We've been back together for almost four months now and the distance is seriously getting to me. Plane tickets are draining my bank account and I feel like I'm losing sight of the point. What's the end game supposed to be? How do you stay optimistic when you're so far away from your SO all the time? Any advice/words of wisdom will be helpful!

The end game in your situation sounds like it would be your achieving a degree. Because, Even if you transferred schools to a university in Florida. He might get transferred to another duty station. Once you get your degree. Then you can contemplate moving.