navy nuke wife - help?

[jeggula]

Hi everyone. I am new to this site and I am really looking for some guidance and support. My husband, who I just married in December, is at nuke school in SC, which is a very hard program - so hard that he has already experienced shipmates committing suicide since he’s been there in this short time. I am a year away from finishing my degree 9 hours away and (i’ve already looked into it) my credits won’t transfer due to the program I am in. He signed up years ago and didn’t actually make it in until a few months ago, and now he is there and he is so miserable that he is pulling away from me, even though he continues to tell me he loves me, but is worried that he doesn’t have the energy to make it through this. Any advice on how to deal with this distance and hardship until I can move there to be with him? Thanks

[Lostviolinist]

I went through the nuke pipeline. It affects students differently. Those who are smart and can learn quickly will have the least amount of trouble. Those who struggle academically will have to spend more and more time in the study house. Those who find themselves in that situation can still most likely make it through the program. The Navy wants them to get through. As long as they continue to fight and give every effort, they will be given multiple opportunities to continue on. Making it to the end in this case will depend on their mental strength. The majority of the people who I knew dropped out of the program, weren't dropped because they couldn't pass the exams (though there were a few of these). They dropped because 1.They gave up or lost motivation. 2. Personal problems from outside the Navy 3. Criminal offenses. As for the suicides. I also had a classmate take his life. From what I know about him and the others, they are already struggling with difficulties unrelated to the program. The program just becomes added stress that pushes them over the edge they were hovering over.

The program will require more and more of his attention as it goes on. By the time he gets to prototype he may not have much time to think about anything other than his qualifications. The 12 hour shifts will get to his head. If you fall behind they'll add more hours to his days. But once you get to prototype, as long as you keep trying you are essentially guaranteed to pass. Though if he is sent to a deployable ship after the pipeline (which is the most likely case). You both will have another difficulty to face. Deployments can be long and in the case of submarines, sever all contact with him and come often with little to no notice. So get used to being apart.

Just try to understand him and give support however you can. Be patient, and hopefully neither of you do anything that makes either of you question your relationship. If he can do what he needs to do without worrying about you it will be a bit easier. Exchange a few messages each day. Visit each other when you can. If you can create a relationship where you both support each other and no matter how difficult life gets, neither of you ever regret or even consider giving up. You'll be fine.

Well, I don't know the guy so I can't really say what will happen. But good luck to both of you.

#I didn't realize how old this post was. I suppose he is close to the end of the program now and either you two have figured it out or it didn't work.