Help with the aftermath :/

[tokyo blues]

Hi everyone! I hope you are doing good in this day. Im coming here to ask for help from military wifes or girlfriends.
Frankly when i met my boyfriend I didn't think military life was going to be hard but it is. Im familiar with PTSD as my sister has suffered from it and i have had the opportunity to be advice by professionals on how to be a support system. I usually can support him im that matter.
But I want advice because of the things (the pandemics) that have been happening, a lot has happened to my SO at work and it has come to a point where our relationship is hanging by a thread due to his depression.and i don't know how to deal with the aftermath of adverse situations being 3000 miles away. I have been with him for 3 years now and the PTSD was there, but never affected him so much than it has now.
I know this I nothing compared to what a lot of strong dependants have to go through, but he was so closed with this issues until pretty recently.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

My guy isn't in the military, but he does have PTSD. Things took a turn for the worse when he lost his dog in September last year, and they didn't improve. He became so distance and isolated from me, and I got stressed because of that. We argued a lot as our next visit was cancelled for various reasons, and it got to the point where we were both so unhappy that we broke up.
After 5 weeks of misery for us both, we agreed to try again this weekend. Things are still far from fine, but we are working on it as best we can. The pandemic certainly hasn't helped us individually either, as we can't attend our groups anymore.

Just wanted you to know that you're not alone having an SO with PTSD.

[tokyo blues]

Thank you thank you thank you. That's all I can say. We all have our problems but hopefully you guys can work it out. Please tell me how it goes this weekend!

Since I joined LFAD my anxiety levels have dropped. I used to tell my friends these kind of problems but they just don't get how can you be conflicted by someone you don't even have in your daily life. Right now my relationship is hanging by a threat and reading the forums and your reply helps me to keep it calm and not be to harsh on me.

[vivid_idea]

It’s so nice to hear you are working things out Atlantic! I hope you are OK!!! We are here if you need us! 💪

There have been times in my LDR that my SO has been so stressed that he has completely cut me off because he just can’t deal with the situation anymore. It hurts like hell!

What I learnt from these times is that it is best for me also to take a step back and not apply extra pressure and expectation on him. I would simply say that “I missed him and that I would always be here if he needed me and that I look forward to talking when he is ready”. Then I would do my best to go about my own things and try not to obsess or worry too much.

When he felt better he would come back and we would talk things through. It’s very difficult to go through these times because you feel helpless and the distance is overwhelming.

Hang in there, send him a warm message with nothing but positive energy. Try to remove all demands as this will just put more pressure on him. Maybe write him a nice reflection about all your favourite moments together. It will hopefully bring a smile to his face.

I think we all understand how challenging life is atm. Good luck!

[tokyo blues]

It’s so nice to hear you are working things out Atlantic! I hope you are OK!!! We are here if you need us! 💪

There have been times in my LDR that my SO has been so stressed that he has completely cut me off because he just can’t deal with the situation anymore. It hurts like hell!

What I learnt from these times is that it is best for me also to take a step back and not apply extra pressure and expectation on him. I would simply say that “I missed him and that I would always be here if he needed me and that I look forward to talking when he is ready”. Then I would do my best to go about my own things and try not to obsess or worry too much.

When he felt better he would come back and we would talk things through. It’s very difficult to go through these times because you feel helpless and the distance is overwhelming.

Hang in there, send him a warm message with nothing but positive energy. Try to remove all demands as this will just put more pressure on him. Maybe write him a nice reflection about all your favourite moments together. It will hopefully bring a smile to his face.

I think we all understand how challenging life is atm. Good luck!

Thank you for your advice. I have definitely taken things slow. Its really good to read the feelings you have gone through while distancing, i thought i was crazy and reading how you feel during this period makes me feel so supported. Thanks Again vivid_idea

[vivid_idea]

You’re welcome tokyo_blues 😊 Reach out to us if you need. I think this forum can fill a lot of gaps in terms of stress and loneliness. It’s important to have support.