Dealing with the lonliness

[Ciana]

Never posted on a site like this before so I hope I am doing things correctly! ^^'


I am seventeen, just started my senior year of High School today, and my SO is nineteen. I live in California and him all the way in Indiana. We met online and have been in a stable relation ship for over a month now. It's crazy, but it feels like so much longer (: He is the complete light of my life and has made me so happy. I may be a teenager, but I have never dated nor has anyone really been intrested in me. So having him in my life is just a dream come true when I was so sure I would be alone forever.

He already has plans to move down here with me in the next couple of years and he will be visiting for our first face to face meeting in late November, early December. I hae dreams about it and I am just so excited to finally be able to hug him in person.<3

But the issue now is that he left for US Basic Airforce training eleven days ago. Feels like so much longer. :< And he has absolutely no way of cantact for over two months besides letters and 15 minutes of phone once a week.*
To go from talking to him constantly 24/7 for weeks to almost no communication is a huge strain on me. I have many things I have to deal with- helping manage a site, senior year and school work, as well as many health issues like Diabetes- and things just all pale in comparison to him being gone. I miss him so much it hurts.

I have tried to help myself keep up. I have read through our skype conversations, listened to messages he left on my phone, read the only letter I have received so far over and over until it is memorized, but still I find myself almost feeling as if this is a dream and I imagined it.*
I hate talking about him to people my age because they will all just think this is some fake 'teen love' or that we wot last and I cant talk to my friends because I feel like a burden and never want to drag them down like that.

All I really want is some advise. How can I survive until December when I can finally see him? How can I keep myself from falling back into my old depression? And how can I deal with people who just do not beleive me when I say that he is the one I want to spend my life with?

[Sora1101]

I know how you feel, I met my SO at 15 and none of my friends could really understand it and at first they really weren't supportive but the only advice I can give you is to keep yourself busy with all your work. Time will move faster if you aren't sitting around and waiting for him to contact you, you need to go out and have a life outside of him. It may seem hard but you'll get used to it, I think the hardest part about LDR's is trying to get into a routine so you know when to be available and when it's okay to just turn your phone off and go out and have a good time. As for your friends, only talk to them about this stuff if you really want to but I find everyone on this site so much more helpful and friendly, we've all been through it before so we can understand your problems.

[enemey96]

I know how you feel too, I'm 16 and don't feel like I can talk to my friends about it, for the same reason. And my family gets annoyed when I go on about me and my SO.
I've found the best thing to do is to keep yourself busy while you're not in school, maybe with homework, or extra work, something like that - it really helps. And make sure that you keep a good relationship with your friends, even though you really miss not being able to talk to him, because they will also keep you going through the time when you can't talk to him.
I hope this helped

[HoldMeImAFermata]

I don't really have great advice because theres very little that helps keep me from missing my Long Distance Girlfriend :/ I know how you feel my friends and family don't understand if I spoke to them about it they'd say well theres plenty of fish in the sea you should break up for now until you can close the distance or you should take a break and just live your life theres plenty of time for love. But like you I have a lot of health issues and in my 19 years I've never met a girl as caring as my SO who doesn't judge me and loves me unconditionally for who I am as a person. She is truly one in a million and I know I will always love her I don't want to ever have to search again for someone like her and she feels the same about me. Sorry didn't mean to ramble basically just saying that if you would like someone to vent to that understands Im here for you.

[Ciana]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am still having trouble in school and oviously missing him, but things are slowly settling down. Only six more weeks until I can talk with him again<3
Thank you again everyone that responded. c:

[ashdav2010]

My SO is in Indiana too There's nothing that truly can take away the of missing someone, but staying busy definitely makes the time go by faster and gives my brain a break from thinking about him so much. Keep your head up and commiserate with us here in LFAD

[HoldMeImAFermata]

Its our pleasure Ciana!!

[jeannar987]

One thing tht I want to use but can't because he hasn't got an iPhone or iPod touch is the app pair. You can make a timeline just for the two of you, send txts they the app, share photos, draw pictures together and my favourite bit is if you are both on at the same time you can have a thumb kiss where if you both touch the same bit of your screen at the same time the phone vibrates (there is a marker to show you where your SOs finger is) so you can touch when your miles apart.

[Sabbi696]

I see a couple people have SO's in indiana haha mine is from there as well. Anyways for advice, i agree with everyone when they say to just try and have a life outside of him. Not only will the time pass quicker but it will be more of a cherished moment when you two do have contact. Good luck! I only joined this site a couple days ago, but it already seems like a really good place.

[audrey92]

Hi, i'm Carolyn. I just saw this post and it reminded me alot of myself when my SO when to bootcamp. Trust me it gets better, i'm not saying you wont miss him. But your getting down to crunch time till he is done. I'm sure if your anything like i was those letters are your life, the thing you cant wait to get. KEEP THEM ALL! I still have all of mine. For the advice part, find people that understand what your going through. with the LDR and the military, because even tho when he is out of camp you can talk to him...but trust me it still gets hard sometimes. There are a ton of groups on facebook for military SO's. If you ever need to talk or advice just message me! I'm here for you!!

[LooneyBear]

That's why sometimes LDR is just that hard when it comes to a situations like yours. You'll just have to wait, have patience and trust you SO. Make yourself busy and you'll never knew time ran that fast