From Australia to Africa: 10 hour time difference and feeling constantly worried
Hi guys, this is my first post here....
My girlfriend and I have been going out for nearly 11 of the happiest months of our lives. We love each other so deeply and trust and respect each other with all our heart. For the first 6 months of this year, she's been on a gap year working to save money to go overseas for 6 months - we only live 20 minutes apart and so it's been an amazing, cuteness-filled year until about a month ago, when she went away. She's now volunteering in Ghana, Africa for two months, before backpacking around Europe and North America until January. I'm going on a holiday to meet her in Europe in November, which I'm super excited about, but in the meantime I'm finding it so hard without her here with me.
There are three main things that I'm really struggling with.
Firstly, the feeling of not having anyone to do cute little things with. Her and I have so so much in common, we love going to see bands, read books together, go on picnics and go out to nice places for dinner, all those amazing things that have been some of the most adorable and fun moments of my life. I have a pretty small group of friends and we're all drifting apart a little bit (we all just came out of high school, and are discovering different interests and stuff, meaning we see each other less and have less in common). I'm also finding it hard to cement a solid group of friends at university. So what I'm finding is that I just really really miss those opportunities I had with my SO to do amazing fun things, and I've tried organising with other people to do similar stuff but it just doesn't feel the same.
Secondly, the time difference. I'm 10 hours ahead of her and so she wakes up when I'm winding down for the afternoon/evening. It's just hard cos that's a great time for me to talk usually, but she has to go to work or whtever she's doing that day. We usually talk on Skype before she goes to bed (around 6 or 7am my time), which is great because I love talking to her, but just hard because I've been getting headaches from using my phone at that time and some days I feel pretty exhausted from interrupted sleep. The thing is, I don't want to change it, because I absolutely appreciate talking to her and it's usually the highlight of my day. I send her emails every night recapping my day, which is good too, but it's just hard. Any suggestions?
And thirdly, and most important I think, is that I'm just so worried about her all the time. She's staying in a capital city and is befriending lots of other young volunteers, but I just can't shake the feeling that she is constantly not safe - jammed into the back of minibuses with no seatbelts, getting into taxis on her own as a conspicuous young white girl, and knowing that she's got a lot of solo travel ahead of her. All I want is for her to be safe and happy, and it terrifies me when I don't here from her, or when she has a close call. She got really sick last week and I was so scared and upset, but I also didn't want to tell her how upset I was because I know she just wants me to be happy too!
Sorry for the rambling but I'm feeling really alone and afraid for her and for myself. I don't want to keep feeling like this - and most of the time I'm fine, when I'm busy and when I know she's happy and safe - but it's those other times when I'm caught off-guard that I get sad like this.
Does anyone have any tips for how to get through the next 3 months and stop worrying about her so much? Thanks guys
My girlfriend and I have been going out for nearly 11 of the happiest months of our lives. We love each other so deeply and trust and respect each other with all our heart. For the first 6 months of this year, she's been on a gap year working to save money to go overseas for 6 months - we only live 20 minutes apart and so it's been an amazing, cuteness-filled year until about a month ago, when she went away. She's now volunteering in Ghana, Africa for two months, before backpacking around Europe and North America until January. I'm going on a holiday to meet her in Europe in November, which I'm super excited about, but in the meantime I'm finding it so hard without her here with me.
There are three main things that I'm really struggling with.
Firstly, the feeling of not having anyone to do cute little things with. Her and I have so so much in common, we love going to see bands, read books together, go on picnics and go out to nice places for dinner, all those amazing things that have been some of the most adorable and fun moments of my life. I have a pretty small group of friends and we're all drifting apart a little bit (we all just came out of high school, and are discovering different interests and stuff, meaning we see each other less and have less in common). I'm also finding it hard to cement a solid group of friends at university. So what I'm finding is that I just really really miss those opportunities I had with my SO to do amazing fun things, and I've tried organising with other people to do similar stuff but it just doesn't feel the same.
Secondly, the time difference. I'm 10 hours ahead of her and so she wakes up when I'm winding down for the afternoon/evening. It's just hard cos that's a great time for me to talk usually, but she has to go to work or whtever she's doing that day. We usually talk on Skype before she goes to bed (around 6 or 7am my time), which is great because I love talking to her, but just hard because I've been getting headaches from using my phone at that time and some days I feel pretty exhausted from interrupted sleep. The thing is, I don't want to change it, because I absolutely appreciate talking to her and it's usually the highlight of my day. I send her emails every night recapping my day, which is good too, but it's just hard. Any suggestions?
And thirdly, and most important I think, is that I'm just so worried about her all the time. She's staying in a capital city and is befriending lots of other young volunteers, but I just can't shake the feeling that she is constantly not safe - jammed into the back of minibuses with no seatbelts, getting into taxis on her own as a conspicuous young white girl, and knowing that she's got a lot of solo travel ahead of her. All I want is for her to be safe and happy, and it terrifies me when I don't here from her, or when she has a close call. She got really sick last week and I was so scared and upset, but I also didn't want to tell her how upset I was because I know she just wants me to be happy too!
Sorry for the rambling but I'm feeling really alone and afraid for her and for myself. I don't want to keep feeling like this - and most of the time I'm fine, when I'm busy and when I know she's happy and safe - but it's those other times when I'm caught off-guard that I get sad like this.
Does anyone have any tips for how to get through the next 3 months and stop worrying about her so much? Thanks guys
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