Any advice would be really appreciated :/

[Maximum212]

Okay so I met these 3 girls online, lets call them E, H, and T. So I dated E. We broke up because our parents don't want us dating anyone yet, but we're like best friends now. We still have feelings for each other. I would always come to H and T for advice about things, including E, the girl I dated. I would feel suspicious sometimes and I would get scared, considering E said on Twitter that it was okay to be a flirt, as long as you know your limits. I was friends with H and T, but we did flirt. When it came to H, it was one sided. She wouldn't flirt back, but we would joke around and stuff. When it came to T, she did flirt back, immensely. We did this a lot, but I made it known that I had feelings for E and that all of this was innocent.

Things took a turn for the worse. Eventually they both told me that they did have feelings for me. H's way of telling me was a little..colorful. She said I had been messing with her feelings by flirting with her and such. She did have a crush on me before, I knew that, but she had dated someone else so I thought her feelings for me were gone. I apologized to her and the next day or two she apologized to me, saying it was all her fault when it really wasn't..then a few days later she said "You know things will never be the same between us ever again right?" That really hurt, but I agreed.

As for T, she pretty much let it slip, and things got awkward between us. Apparently she was also hoping I would move on from E, and possibly date her. She knew about what happened with H, and said that she didn't want things to get all awkward between us. I really feel awful now, and I feel like eventually I'll lose all of them. I'm barely talking to H now. I can talk to T, but at some point the conversation about her liking me comes up and things get awkward again. Things are fine with E. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I feel really bad about what I've done. It's gotten to the point where I'm even afraid to talk to H. I'm afraid that anything I say will just make things worse. I want to talk to her, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm just giving things time to change I guess. Please, help me. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you so much, sorry for it being long.

[CarolinaGirl]

Well, first off, flirting with three girls at the same time was a big no-no. It's one thing to flirt with people while you're dating someone; it's a whole other thing flirting with numerous people and doing it constantly. I've been in similar situations, unfortunately, but you learn as you grow up, the more you flirt with people, the bigger the consequences will be. I've always been just naturally super flirty, and I lost one of my best friends because of it. I never meant to hurt him, but I did. I could see it every time he talked to me, although the circumstances were a little different because I had a boyfriend while he liked me. That's the same issue though-leading people on. I have to ask, did you like either of these girls you were flirting with? I know you said you still had feelings for the one you dated, but what about the other two?

[Maximum212]

I won't lie, they were both attractive, but I didn't think too much about them that way. I honestly thought that they didn't like me that way so there would be no point in putting any kind of hope in that. I did question if I liked one of them before. I felt like there was something that attracted me to H. I thought that there must have been something lacking in the one I had dated, that H must have had. I came to the conclusion that it must have just been her personality, how she was always there for me. She could always find something to say to make me feel better, or put me at ease for the time being. The girl I dated could do that, but there were some times that she was speechless, she just didn't know what to say. That was never the case with H. She would always have something to say. I decided to put the thought of being attracted to her off, because the more I thought about it, the more confused I became. I decided to think of that quality as her just being a friend.

My flirting was completely innocent, I had no intentions to hurt them, or lead them on. I remember thinking about the possibilities though, wondering about if things had been different, how things might have been if the situation wasn't like this. If I had liked either of the two. Or maybe if I'd never met them at all. But other than that, I only thought of them as two of my best friends. I don't plan on flirting anymore, unless my feelings are completely gone for the one I dated and I'm truly looking for someone else. I've learned my lesson the hard way.

[CarolinaGirl]

Well I'd say for the way things are now between you and H, I think time is really the only thing that will make it better. The more you keep trying to talk to them after you hurt them, the more it makes them want to push you away. Right now, she's upset because you messed with her feelings, especially after she was there for you when you needed her to be; when this happened with me and my friend, he didn't want to have anything to do with me pretty much because he was just tired of wanting me, but not having me. We just stopped talking after that. I said a few things to him here and there, basically to apologize and let him know that I was sorry. I think you need to do that too-apologize, to let her know you never meant to hurt her, even if you did tell her it was all innocent. I had explained to my friend when he first told me he liked me, I didn't think we should be friends if he did because I didn't want what happened to happen, and he said it was fine, that it never would. But it did. So really, the whole thing wasn't my fault because I forewarned him. But, whether or not it's completely your fault, apologize and give her some space. If she's ready to talk, she will. And when you do, don't bring up the past. Just focus on the now, and the future.
...And I think sometimes, when you're with someone long distance, you do tend to compare them to people that are around you that either like you, or you feel you could potentially like. Whether or not you mean to...certain things that we wish our boyfriend/girlfriend did or wouldn't do...when you have people around you that would fit what you want, it makes you wonder. I know I have wondered what it would be like in certain situations if I hadn't of had a boyfriend...it's always the what ifs. But you need to be careful when it comes to what ifs because sometimes you can ruin something great that you already have.
I hope this helps, at least a little (= Good luck with your friends.

[Maximum212]

Thank you so much. You know, I was planning to text her on her birthday or something. I'm a bit nervous to speak to her now, still scared. Yet her birthday is so far away! It's in February, the end of it actually. I don't want to wait so long to say something, like I don't want to give time then I talk to her and all of a sudden memories come rushing back and things are just weird again..how exactly should I give her time?

[CarolinaGirl]

Well, I'd say (since I'm assuming this all happened recently?) that you text her soon. Like, don't even say hey. Just send her some type of apology. And if she responds, then keep telling her you're sorry you hurt her, and you don't want your friendship to end because she meant a lot to you-but also maybe that you understand if she doesn't want to be friends anymore. If she doesn't, that's okay too because at least she'll have seen it. Given, if she doesn't respond when you apologize, definitely just wait. Maybe say Merry Christmas to her, happy birthday; little things like that, or tell her you miss her. Just don't try to force yourself back into her life. If you end up talking after a few months, things might still be a little awkward, but most of the hurt and anger will have faded and it makes it easier to talk. My guy friend and I actually are okay now. I mean, he doesn't hate me anymore, and I'm not upset with him. We are on speaking terms, and I think if your friendship is strong enough, you may be able to salvage that.