Should I tell my parents?

[loopsofmadness]

Hey everyone, I'm new

Anyway, me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a month but we have been speaking for over two years. Within the month that we have been together we have met 3 times. This may not sound all that bad but he's 14 and I'm 15, so obviously our parents are not going to be very supportive of our relationship because we live 203 miles away from one another and we are only teenagers. The first time we met was when he was on holiday and his family was shopping at a shopping centre near to where I live, so I went to see him for the first time; we only had a short amount of time as this had to be done without his parents getting suspicious. The next 2 times that we met we both travelled 100 miles (we met in the middle) to see one another for 5 hours... This again was done in secret. The guilt kills me as my parents would not respect me for travelling so far on my own, but I do not regret it. The thing is, I'm beginning to think that if I told my parents about me being in a LDR, would they be supportive? I may not tell them about the two occasions in which I travelled alone, but if I was to tell them about the actual relationship, would they maybe help me? We both know that if we work at it this could really work out. I understand that what I did was wrong and not sensible at all, but it was the only way we had of seeing each other. So, do you think I should tell my parents about our relationship? Or should I keep it secret for a little longer?

Any advice will be appreciated, thanks guys

[D.4C]

telling your parents will depend on what kind of people they are..only you would know that...are they ok with you being in any kind of relationship?...if so...i would start by telling them that you have been talking to someone...and take babysteps with the dynamics of the relationship...i know you don't want to be secretive and that...but too much all at once might be too much for them to process...keeping it secret for too long...i think...will only end up badly as time goes on....

[loopsofmadness]

Thanks that was a really good answer. Both of our parents are fine with us being in relationships, it's just the travelling bit because we're so young, maybe next August when I turn 16, things might be a little easier, but that's ages away I think I may do what you said about the babysteps, really good idea

[D.4C]

i will always do what i can to help out...since i am 41...i have been through alot of things in my life...and am glad to pass along things i have learned...i know august seems a long ways off...but..if it's what you both want...then it's worth it...love endures all...find those ways to keep in contact...kepp them fresh...and that should help

[loopsofmadness]

Thank you, it means a lot Yeah that's all true, maybe if I just start off with the babysteps like you said, see how it goes from there. I'm going to have to tell them one day, and the longer I leave it the worse I'm gonna feel and the worse they'll react.

[lyonsgirl]

Tell them. If you don't tell them and they find out, they're going to be more pissed that you've been keeping something like this secret from them. Been there done that, did not go well for me. If you want your parents to be supportive and treat you like an adult, you have to act like one. Which means being up front with them about things like this. If they say "no" you can't see him when you want to, you can't cry and whine, otherwise you won't ever get to see each other with out sneaking out. And trust me... sneaking out is never a good idea.

[elizabethjp2010]

My SO and I started dating in HS, broke up got back together my senior year, i was 17 almost 18 and had been driving since the day i turned 15, i was not aloud to travel to see him until i got out of HS, my parents are supper supportive and i know now that they would let me see him whenever i want, but that because we have a relationship built on trust.

sure, your parents might say no to travel, but you can make a relationship work w/o travel, michael and i only saw each other 5 times in a whole year, and we still got to see each other more than some other couples on here.

If youre honest with your parents they will be more likely to be supportive, and you have to think about them too, like what if something happened and you ended up in the hospital, they would have no idea where you are.

As someone who started my LD in HS, and am still in one and in college, i would be honest.

[efish1042]

Lying to your parents starts a vicious cycle. You lie to avoid their displeasure, they find out and are more displeased because of the situation AND the lying, you lie to avoid more unpleasantness, you are caught again and trust is broken and they are stricter, you rebel, they confine, you rebel, they confine, etc, etc... Trust is broken, feelings are hurts, and they may never support your relationship with this person.
As someone that's been where you are, lying only makes it worse. Lies always come out in the end.
Would you lie to your SO?

[loopsofmadness]

Apologies for the slow reply everyone, been quite busy recently. Thank for all your advice and words of wisdom. I am going to tell my parents, but in baby steps, lying is not a good thing to do. I will tell them the whole thing eventually, but for now I think warming them up to the fact that I'm in an LDR is a good idea. All great pieces of advice, thanks!