thinking of breaking up?

[DropDeadRiley]

my long distance boyfriend Ben and I have been going out for almost 2 months, and already I feel we're starting to fall apart. I love him so much but I'm starting to have my doubts. he only lives 4 hours away yet due to school and work I'm lucky to see him at least once a month and only in the holidays and I'm finding it really hard to deal with it. it's getting to the point where our conversations are getting very short and awkward and we're already talking about mutually breaking up but still being friends

I really don't want to break up with him, and I know he doesn't want us to break up either
can someone please give me some advice such as things to talk about or how we can work this out

Riley xx

[Amelia]

i think you might be going through a rough patch and they are compeltely normal, people deal with them all the time, some make it through and others dont. You need to have a good chat about your relationship, where you want it to go and how to get it there. If you express your emotions openly and discuss everything instead of ignoring the obvious, then your relationship might be better off.

Your first question, should be do you want this, are you willing to put in the effort needed for the relationship?, if the answers are mutual yes, then you need to find a way to have better communication

[DropDeadRiley]

We both really want to make this work, we're crazy about each other and we're willing to try and make it work! We've only met up three times, one of them being he slept at mine for two nights. That makes it harder for me as we have already spent time together, and the next time we can see each other is in a month ._.

[dglynn77]

Honey, I just want to say maybe it would help your relationship if you focused on the time you get to spend together, rather than how hard it is to be apart. I'm not trying to sound whiney, but most of us here would be ecstatic to be able to see our SO that often! I do know that, being apart, no matter how long, is very hard! That is why it helps to just focus on how good it is to be together, and don't forget that when you are apart! It gives you a reason to make it work, even though it is so hard!

Best of luck!!!

[Tooki]

Focus on the positives

Also I'm from the Central Coast . A few of my friends have managed a relationship to get a Sydney-CC relationship to work so I'm sure that you two can figure it out!

[Softy]

You are very lucky that you can see him once a month!
For most of us it's once a year...

You say: 'we're already talking about mutually breaking up but still being friends'
and
'I really don't want to break up with him, and I know he doesn't want us to break up either'

which are kind of opposite.... so...

I don't know what to say.

[Carenza LaRue]

my experience is that you have to stay positive and fight really hard for your LDR.

don't say too soon you want to end it..... or even that you're thinking about ending it..... cause it will seed doubts in your SO's mind....

just accept you have good days.... and bad days..... and then you go with the flow... if this relationship is doomed in the end, you will know in an instant.
doubting what you two have, tells something different... think about it.

something about my own LDR.... we've been hooked since last december.... we mostly communicate through FB... sometimes we talk in private and sometimes we just communicate by sending songs or pics to each other...
there were times when I thought.... wtf am I doing? I have not got anything to say.... he has been quiet for a while.... what do we have really? and then there were awkward moments and sometimes even days of silence....

then suddenly this period was over and we started to talk again.... and our relationship bloomed....
what I am trying to say here..... is that it comes and goes in waves..... imagine yourself and your SO in a boat at sea and the waves taking you everywhere.... sometimes with speed and sometimes not..... the only thing you have to do is to row.... and rest.

stop being negative... stop doubting..... accept moments that feel less to you....
oooo and tell your honey you love him.... no matter what.....

you'll do fine

[ST25]

Honestly, it just sounds like the relationship is going through a small hiccup. With LDRs, it happens but most of the time you just brave through it and everyone's all happy again. So just focus on the positives right now and cherish the time you spend with him. =)

[HoldMeImAFermata]

Contrary to everyone else's optimistic it will work out theme and that your lucky that you get to him once a month when most lost distance couples sometimes only get to see each other once a year. Yes that is true but only because they don't live in the same country. Being that your boyfriend and you live so close to each other it shouldn't be so difficult to see each other that often. I don't know what the situation is if your younger than him and can't drive or if you both can drive I'm just not sure of your ages. But if its a matter of one of you not putting in the effort to make that four hour drive then I would just break up. Both parties have to be willing to compromise and the relationship can't be one sided only one person putting the effort and the other person not. So just talk to him.

[BlueflamesX]

This may be my jealousy bleeding through, but seriously? With only 4 hours away, it's not too hard. Just try a little harder OK?