My Mom Knows im engaged but dad hates it

[BennyLover]

im engaged to my fiance(but i call him my bf still) ben and im fifteen, he is seventeen and my mom knows everything about it. She doesnt mind as long as we wait a good amount of time before we actually get married and have sex. My dad on the other hand hates ben because he lives so far and my dad doesnt live with me and or talk to me all that much anymore. He just got off drugs not too long ago and just started taking care of me so i dont really feel he has the right to be upset because he came in when ben and i were already together for over a year and a month and now my dad wants to take charge im sick of it but i dont know how to make him stop bashing my babe. Sometimes i just wish hed have stayed away. Any advice on how to make him realize im ok and with a good guy?

[lucybelle]

I wouldn't be okay with a 15 year old being engaged either. Geeze louise if you're meant to be together forever, then can't you wait 5 or 10 years before thinking about marriage?

[Brieasaurus]

Who cares? If you think you're old enough to be married then you should definitely be old enough to not care about what a distant family member thinks about you.

[stephanieaz]

I wouldn't worry about what your dad thinks too much in your situation. I was not close with my dad at all while growing up. I was raised by my grandparents. Every once in a while, my dad would come around and try to "parent" me. I felt pretty much like you do. He had a problem with the guy that I was dating in high school and didn't agree that we should be allowed in my bedroom together, etc. but it really wasn't his place to say, given that he'd been gone for a huge chunk of my life. I would just ignore the negative things that he says about your relationship, or correct him in a mature and positive way. If you talk on the phone or e-mail or whatever, bring up some of the good things about your relationship or Ben during your conversations. Don't argue with him about it. As long as your mom is supportive and you are living with her, I wouldn't worry too much about your dad. He will come around or he won't. Hopefully he does. He may just need some time to adjust to the idea and realize that you are going about this in a mature way and not planning on running off and getting married as soon as you're 18, etc.

[Tooki]

I'm not big on 15 year old's getting engaged also, but if your mum thinks it's ok then don't worry about it.

Don't think about your dad, he will open up to it.

[Zapookie]

I think it would be wise to at least meet in person first before being engaged.. and at least give yourself a few visits. There's no need to rush.

[Sharon Q]

I've been with the same guy for four years and I am just now thinking of bringing marriage up. The problem with the terms " engaged" and " Married" is that they get thrown around too losely now or days. that kind of thing is a life time commitment not just words to losely throw around and stuff.

Anyway. As someone else already stated if you are mature enough to get married ( which not to be harsh but at that age you're not, even if you're very mature its still serious and you two should hold off such a thing for a later time ) you shouldnt care what your family has to say about it especially if that family is never around.

[ST25]

I wouldn't worry too much about his opinion in that case. Since your mother is okay with it, then everything's okay about the engagement. Besides, er, I suggest meeting the guy in person first before establishing the case of engagement.

[kteire]

My opinion: slow down!! You're so young. Of all the people I knew who thought they were in love at 15, only one couple has stayed together and been married in the end. And they actually broke up for a while because they barely knew anything about themselves outside of a couple. I wouldn't blame either of your parents in the slightest for not being on board with this. I think it's absolutely crazy to get married before you're at least in your 20s, and have a better idea of what you want out of life.

Not saying you shouldn't have a boyfriend, but that is a scary long commitment when you're that age. I am nothing like I was at 15, and if I'd married either of the guys I thought I wanted to at 15, I'd be so incredibly unhappy now.. partly because I'm now an atheist and one was a Born Again, and the other one just adopted a baby with his husband Maybe you'll grow up and still be as in love and still be perfectly suited for each other but wait until then to see.