Teens Guys flirting with my girlfriend...

[kalonuk]

Title says it all. Guys are always flirting with my girlfriend and asking if she's single. She always tells them she has a boyfriend and I trust her, but it's the guys I don't trust. It's not like there's anything I can do about it until I can go and see her. I don't know anything I can do about it :/

[kteire]

The whole 'it's the guys I don't trust' thing is bull. Sorry if I'm harsh, but if you really trusted her then you wouldn't need to trust the guys... It takes two consenting people for anything to come from flirting, and if she's not into them, there's not a thing they can do to change that. You can't control anyone else's actions, and if she's not feeding into the flirting you don't have anything to worry about.

[kalonuk]

Yeah I guess I don't trust her as much as I should, but sometimes she does flirt back...

[kalonuk]

Yeah I guess I don't trust her as much as I should, but sometimes she does flirt back...

[XxFranticLovexX]

What is going to change about guys flirting just because you go for a visit? Once you are back home things will go back to normal and the flirting will start again without you there. Honestly, you just need to trust her. If she's not doing anything wrong then you have no reason to get upset over it. Everyone has someone flirting with them at some point but that doesn't change anything about the person being flirted with.

Also, you said that she sometimes flirts back.. does she know that it bothers you? Maybe you should talk to her and let her know that you aren't comfortable with her flirting back with these guys. Everyone here will tell you that communication is the key to any relationship, especially a long distance relationship. Just talk to her, let her know how you feel, and see how it goes from there. Though, if you don't trust her and have no reason for distrust then that is something that you need to work on within yourself.

[Tooki]

Yeah I guess I don't trust her as much as I should, but sometimes she does flirt back...

*DingDingDing* there is your problem. It's more of a trust issue related to your GF, as kteire alluded to.

You need to realise that your GF has her own life in Australia, and you need to let her live it. If she is going to flirt with some of the boys who flirt with her, that is something that you cannot do anything about.

You could also try and set some guidelines, like making a rule of no flirting, or letting her flirt within reason. It's up to you.

[Sora1101]

The only way this issue will get resolved is if you talk to her and set up some ground rules. If you don't feel comfortable with her flirting then she shouldn't be flirting but you need to realize that you need to let her live her life and sometimes guys are going to flirt with her regardless. Guys try to pick me up and I shoot them down, there's nothing I can do about it just like there's nothing your girlfriend can do about it except refuse them. Maybe you'd feel more comfortable if she didn't tell you about these guys? That way you don't have to worry about it and she can do what she needs to without crossing any kind of line.

[Anna N' Luc]

How do you know she flirts back? Does she do it in front of you? If so, that's in pretty poor taste. Also, are you sure she is deliberatly flirting and not just being friendly? What does she do to give the impression that she is flirting? I only ask this because in my previous relationship, my SO was always accusing me of flirting with other guys when it was just me being nice and him getting the wrong end of the stick (I'm not saying this is what your situation is like)

[frompanthertomustang]

Personally, I think the whole "it's the others I don't trust thing" can be valid in some cases. I had a good guy friend who had a similar problem with his (close distance!) girlfriend. There were just specific guys that were extremely pushy toward his girlfriend, who is an absolute sweetheart, and she would often get overwhelmed with the attention and was unintentionally placed into a few bad situations. I experienced something a little similar with my boyfriend when we first became LD: he is, without a doubt, one of the sweetest boys I've ever met, and he never wants to hurt anyone's feelings. In the beginning of college, he was asked to dance a few times during parties, and he accepted, only to discover that dancing wasn't exactly what these girls had in mind. As everyone said, communicating your feelings to your partner is of the upmost importance. However, if it is just her friendly personality, it may be a trait that you need to learn to accept. Also, as Sora said, guys are going to be hitting on her no matter what--the only thing that you can alter about the situation is how you (and your girlfriend, if she is willing) handle it.

[ThePiedPiper]

Personally, I think the whole "it's the others I don't trust thing" can be valid in some cases.

I feel like what it should come down to is a matter of being able to communicate how you feel to your partner and trusting them to respond in an agreed upon manner. I don't see not being assertive as being an excuse to blur the lines of your relationship if your partner has an issue with something. I trusted my ex to handle most situations with other women appropriately and except in the case of one, where I didn't like the way he handled it, there wasn't an issue. I think that's what people mean when they say he should be trusting his partner, or isn't trusting his partner, versus the other guys.

To the OPer: I agree with sora.

[Rugger]

Agree with what a lot of people have said here. You need to trust her. SO what if other guys flirt with her? She told them she had a boyfriend. End of Story.Relationships are built on trust. No trust. No relationship

About her flirting back, Is she just a friendly person? I'm a flirt. I flirt with everyone. Male female straight gay taken single young old. Everyone. It's just how I interact with people. I'm extremely friendly. While you can tell her that you are uncomfortable with her being too friendly with these guys, doesn't mean you can change her as a person. If that's how she is, that's just how she is, and you can either put up or shut up.

[Kristin91]

You could look at it from the POV that my boyfriend does...

He says "I don't care if guys hit on my girlfriend, I know I have a hot girlfriend."