Teens Should i convince her to tell her parents?

[isaac_gee17]

Okay well my girfriend and I have been in a LDR for about 7 months now and we are both sophmores in highschool and we live about 9 hours away from eachother. The only problem is that her parents are the over protective kind of parents and dont allow her to have a boyfriend so we've been in this relationship in secret. My parents are okay with me in this relationship its just that i think it could help alot if only her parents knew. So the questions stands, should i convince her to tell her parents?

[ThePiedPiper]

I think she needs to be allowed to tell her parents (assuming you've discussed the possibility of it with her already) and you need to respect that. I would guess any "pushing" would strain the relationship and it's really her battle to fight. That said, how does it interfere with your relationship? Does it mean you can't visit?

[Mellow]

I don't think you should convince her to tell her parents. After all, it is her decision. She is the one in trouble if they don't take it well - which her parents probably will do, not taking the whole relationship well if I read your story about their protectiveness. Even with your support, your girlfriend is the one that has to fight the battle. Maybe she is just not ready for it yet, so don't push it. She'll tell her parents when time is ready for her.

[Mims27]

Definetly let her tell her parents when SHE's ready. It took me over a year to tell my mother and I'm not even a teen. So I can imagine how "scary" it can be for her. She'll do it, just give her time.

[HoldMeImAFermata]

You may not wanna hear this and other people may disagree. But being in a long distance relationship for seven months at age 16 and with someone who won't tell her parents is not worth it. In my opinion thats no relationship at all because a relationship is based on trust and honesty and if she can't ever see you then there's no point. I get that her parents would dissaprove and they don't want her having a boyfriend so it seems like at this point in her life its not going to work out for you two. Sorry if this is blunt but my advice would be to separate but still keep in touch and remain friends. Your young and should experience dating other people and not be tied down as a teenager. If you both still haven't found someone in a couple of years then try it again and then you'll both be legal adults that don't have to listen to your parents. At least thats how I would feel. My LDR never would have lasted if we couldn't see each other at all ever. But it's your decision man good luck!

[Emz_walshy]

I told my parents about my boyfriend & they banned me from talking to him so now I gotta sneak around & try not to get caught! It's hard!

[efish1042]

While I think she needs to tell her parents, it is her initiative.
I feel very ambivalent about this. My SO didn't tell his parents for a long time and it kind of caused problems, but at the same time when they did find out, they reacted the way he expected them to, which was not so good.
I say it's better for them to be in the know, but don't cause stress in your relationship by forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. If she won't tell her parents and you can't handle it, then you're probably better off just moving on.

[Sora1101]

I think you should let her do it, pressuring her to tell them will only make your relationship hurt and there's no guarantee that she'll even tell them even if you get into an argument about it.

Here's how I see it, would you rather be in a relationship with this girl knowing she's keeping it a secret or would you want to risk losing contact with her for a long time if not forever because you made her tell her parents?

[Mellow]

You may not wanna hear this and other people may disagree. But being in a long distance relationship for seven months at age 16 and with someone who won't tell her parents is not worth it. In my opinion thats no relationship at all because a relationship is based on trust and honesty and if she can't ever see you then there's no point. I get that her parents would dissaprove and they don't want her having a boyfriend so it seems like at this point in her life its not going to work out for you two. Sorry if this is blunt but my advice would be to separate but still keep in touch and remain friends. Your young and should experience dating other people and not be tied down as a teenager. If you both still haven't found someone in a couple of years then try it again and then you'll both be legal adults that don't have to listen to your parents. At least thats how I would feel. My LDR never would have lasted if we couldn't see each other at all ever. But it's your decision man good luck!

The thing is, is that many of us who do tell our parents get in huge trouble. They shut off the internet, and as Emz_walshy mentioned, they might even "ban" you from talking to your partner. My parents wouldn't be happy about my relationship at the moment either, so I'm waiting for the right time to tell them.
It's not always a case of just telling your parents. Every parent is different, and you don't to loose someone you really love. If the OP and his girlfriend where a few years older, parents wouldn't be that much of an issue.
I do see your point though. It's a bit odd not being able to tell. Not natural. Especially when the couple isn't able to meet through not telling.

Anyway, how are things going now isaac_gee17?

[isaac_gee17]

Well Mellow she decided to do what HoldMeImAFermata suggested... :/

[Kristin91]

Sorry to hear that!

[redapple]

Aww sorry to hear that isaac_gee. Was she just not ready yet? Hope you're ok, break ups when your young suck, chin up!

[isaac_gee17]

Yeah thanks redapple, im trying to respect her decision the best i can, but its very hard trying to forget and let go of something you desired, and struggled for, for a very long time. She just siad that it was too much for her.