My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a month now. I met him because of my aunt who told me about the things they did while video chatting on Skype. I was really attracted when I first saw his picture, He's a looker even though he's a year younger (which was a major turn off because my ideal guys are at least 4-5 years older than me) I pretended to be horny to draw his attention cause I thought of him as perverted. We chatted for like 5 hours via Skype. I was really tired because of the different time shifts between Germany and Philippines. Our chat started being perverted and went from being a normal one. At first he was asking for my nude pics and I was like " I won't send you one unless you fall in love with me." our conversation went on until morning. We constantly Skype for a week until I fell in love with him big time. He was really good looking, sweet, funny, interesting, intelligent and caring. We never talked about perverted stuffs since then. There are many things I wanted to know about him. However, the distance only allows me to know little. The biggest issue we have is that he won't even tell me his surname. I don't know if he don't trust me yet or he doesn't love me the way I love him. Lately we seldom talk on Skype, I lost my phone at school so we cant chat on whats app. I'm not good at waiting and I have a really loose patience. I don't know what to do. I can't concentrate on school and other stuffs. He keeps telling me that he loves me and he's serious about me. I can't avoid being skeptic because there are many things about him which he doesn't let me know. I wanted to close the distance with him but I still have school. He once asked me to visit him in Germany but I'm young and broke. I'm not affluent to afford the expenses to get there even though he's willing to help me with the costs. It saddens me a lot, but I'm willing to overcome everything just to be with him someday. How I wish
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My LDR with a guy whose surname is I don't know
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Okay.. I've never really understood when people prefer their partner to be in a certain age range for no real reason.
That isn't a good way to get someones attention if you want an actual, non-sex driven, relationship with them.
You can get to know a lot about someone from a distance, they just have to be willing to talk to you about it, so it isn't the distance that is stopping you from knowing a lot about him.
Why will he not tell you his surname? Does he know yours? Maybe he just doesn't know you well enough to trust you with that information yet. You haven't really known him that long.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you love the idea of him, not actually him as a person, because you said yourself that you don't really know him that well. Take some time to talk to each other, form a trusting bond, actually learn each others last name, learn about one another, and just take things at a slower pace. Let him know that you are interested in getting to know him better and that you would like to skype more often since you lost your phone.
You will need patience if you ever want to even hope to have a relationship with him because all relationships take some patience, especially LDR. You are constantly planning, missing them, and waiting.. this means that you have to be patient.
I have no advice on visiting because my LDR isn't international and I still have trouble getting the funds for trips. :/
Lastly, your studies are important so you really need to try finding ways to focus on them. Set aside uninterrupted study time, get a snack, and just study in a room with no distractions. Plan out (with him) to talk to him after your studies are finished so that you have an incentive or something. I don't really know how to help with focusing while actually in school though.
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Thank you very much Frantic Lover Yeah I need to adjust a lot, especially about my lack of patience. He already know my surname and all the basic info about me. I guess I won't hassle about his surname anymore, I just wish he'll tell me all what I need to know someday. Valentines is coming how can I surprise him if I don't even know where and to whom will I send my gifts >.< ahahahah. About the age preferences, I like older guys since I was a kid so it really shocked when I fell for him And yessss I'll try focusing on my studies so I'll have good job when I finish school (for travelling expenses when I visit him in Germany) Over all thank you again for your lovely advice
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May I ask how old are you?
I personally don't think you can fall in love head over heels with someone in a week. Yes, you can love the idea of something possibly developing or have a strong crush, but love? Real, wanting to spend your life with him -love? Sounds like me when I was 14 and 'in love'.
The guy is being smart not telling you everything about himself. The Internet is full of creeps pretending to be someone they're not, even pretending to be the opposite sex sometimes. You need to be careful yourself and not tell him everything until you get to REALLY know him. I'm not saying he's a creep, but just that you barely know anything about him so proceed with caution. People may seem nice and perfect when they're on your screen but the reality could be different. And don't fly out there until you know exactly who he is and where he lives. It could take months or even years but better to be safe than sorry.
Also, I sound like a mum (which I am) but FOCUS ON SCHOOL. Guys will come and go but you have to look out for your future regardless. Studying well will help YOU later on in life, it's not something that was invented to bug teenage people. No matter what happens with this guy remember that you have to look out for YOU and a good degree goes a long way. Helps you get a job, which will earn you money that you can use to fly out and meet him possibly.
Even when you're walking on clouds over this guy keep your head straight. You won't regret it
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Ms. Tanja >.< yes you're definitely like a mother. I like your advice and thank you very much, thanks for the concern... I like ur thought as a mom since I don't have one I'm 18 by the way aheheheh :P I'm a bit childish since daddy was very strict... I never had life outside the house. After school I immediately head home, so maybe I am a bit naive. And yes ma'am I'm doing good in my studies, I'm just a bit distracted by thoughts of him.
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