I want to make this as clear as possible so everyone can understand the whole story. I understand its long and pretty extensive, if you must skim through it feel free to, i appreciate ANY advice.
Me and my girlfriend met online 10 months ago, after getting to know each other (talking on the phone, skyping etc.) i started to develop feelings for her, and then i told her i liked her, at which point she told me the feeling was mutual. We were both uncertain about starting a serious relationship at first as we had never really met and didnt know if we could handle the distance. However after we gave a bit of thought to it, we decided we would try, if it didnt work it didnt work. Things started off great, everyday i was falling for her more and more and i believe she did the same, a little after 1 month of us being together i told her i loved her and she said the same thing (i brought the whole thing up, but she actually said it first) things went great for the next month and a half, we didnt fight or have any big issues until she stopped going to school around February...
She is quite stubborn and despite my many attempts to convince her to go, she continued to sleep in and eventually got in trouble for truancy and her family members threatened to take her to juvenile court. Her grandmother took her in from her mom's because her mom couldnt get her to school. This was the point where her phone was taken away, most of our communication was cut, we only got to talk during school hours and sometimes really late at night when she would go on the computer, things were rough approaching valentines day as we were both missing each other greatly, we took every chance to be affectionate to each other at least i did, it wasnt until the 11th that i noticed she was being distant. A lot of drama was going on in her life, she mentioned something about her dad and how her weekend sucked but wouldnt tell me. On the 13th i sent her some special gifts a sweater of mine that she liked, a picture of me, and a note that we had agreed to give with every gift. (shes supposed to receive them today or tomorrow).
On valentines day is when everything happened, she invited me to a chat room to talk to one of her friends boyfriends whom we didnt get along with, things got heated and he said some strange things about me and my girlfriends relationship asking "when are you going to tell him?" and stuff like that, i realized something was up and IMed her asking what was wrong, at this point she told me she couldnt do the distance anymore, but she still loves me and wanted to just be friends, ( she had told the friend and she told the boyfriend) she barely talked about it at all, not even giving me the chance to discuss it with her before i she said "its over" and logged off, she also told me not to delete our facebook status which was strange. Also i was actually going to full out confront her that night about why she was acting distant, but obviously i didnt get the chance, i didnt tell her i was going to either.
The next day rolls around and i text her in the morning saying something like "i love you and want to be your friend, but i need to talk about this whole thing in he future." at which point she said "I love you and i always will, i just dont want to date you anymore". She told me that day i could delete the facebook status, the reason was that she didnt want to get grounded more because she was talking to me (she wasnt supposed to be), thing is when she told her grandmother not only did she give my girlfriend her phone back, but she also said she was "beginning to turn her life around", her grandmother had been saying that my girlfriend would be ungrounded when she "began to turn her life around". Her family didnt like me even though i was always there for my girlfriend when they treated her like trash, i encouraged her to stay out of trouble and all my intentions were good, and the fact that she got her phone back right away, one of the things that made everything so hard for us to communicate, it leads me to believe they just didnt like me and it was all a ploy to make this happen. That afternoon she texted me out of the random and just started talking casually like nothing happened.
Anyways that night i talked to her on IM about the break up some more, just mostly things i needed to hash out, i asked if she knew how i was feeling and she said "a lil sad?" at which point i told her i was more than a "lil sad" a lot more. She told me that she had been thinking about breaking up for a week and needed more time to think about it, but was certain now. She told me that she wasnt hurting at all, even though she still loved me, which is contradictory and made me feel even worse. After that i told her i wanted to be friends and would still like to meet her in the future (we were supposed to meet in april) and she said she like that too as friends. She proceeded to tell me that she just wants to be friends, but she doesnt want to lose me, i told her i didnt want to lose her either but it was gonna be really hard for me so i told her to be patient with me, that id be her friend now but it would be strange for me. (throughout this whole conversation she was acting weird, giving really short answers meanwhile i was sending paragraphs, she didnt usually send long messages, but this was weird)
Next day i text her in the morning with a casual conversation and start then i start talking about how i was scared to start again because she made me so happy that i was afraid of how i would see the world now (i didnt actually say that i just sad i was afraid of how id see the world now, because i know id see it differently). She gave me a short response of encouragement. then i explained how i appreciate the fact that she acknowledged what happened and i thought it was healthy to, she got annoyed saying how i kept bringing up the break up how it was "daily news now" (wth? it was 2 days ago.) then when i got sort of defensive she just said she was gonna go. At the end of the day i decided it was better if she gave me time so i texted her saying i knew if i kept talking about what happened it would ruin our friendship and i didnt want to lose her and that i needed time and asked her to not talk to me for a few days and to call me when she gets her gifts. The next day she said that she wanted to do that too and that she wasnt going anywhere. At which point i told her that i loved her and if she wanted this then i wanted it too, and i hope everything works out for her and that shes happy and that ill always be here for her, then i said we can conitnue with the plan. Despite the lack of enthusiasm in her response, the fact that i told her this made me really happy.
So i should be getting her call either today or tomorrow and im kind of pissed off about everything, she was thinking about breaking up for a week but didnt talk to me about it, her family used me like a bargaining chip, she didnt give me a proper apology and is being cold even though she says she still loves me?
Why is she acting like this? She doesnt want to talk about it or anything, she says shes not hurting? In fact she said she was calm, part of me believes, or wants to believe shes in denial of what happened and just doesnt want to realize it. I dont know what to do, i want to act normal when she calls me but even though i think ive accepted it, i still want her back and am still sort of angry, part of me wants to give her an ultimatum, but i love her and dont want to lose her even if she is a friend. I think shes just being inconsiderate of how im feeling, even if she does have a lot going on in her life right now she shouldnt just push me aside, i have no idea how to go about this situation.
Me and my girlfriend met online 10 months ago, after getting to know each other (talking on the phone, skyping etc.) i started to develop feelings for her, and then i told her i liked her, at which point she told me the feeling was mutual. We were both uncertain about starting a serious relationship at first as we had never really met and didnt know if we could handle the distance. However after we gave a bit of thought to it, we decided we would try, if it didnt work it didnt work. Things started off great, everyday i was falling for her more and more and i believe she did the same, a little after 1 month of us being together i told her i loved her and she said the same thing (i brought the whole thing up, but she actually said it first) things went great for the next month and a half, we didnt fight or have any big issues until she stopped going to school around February...
She is quite stubborn and despite my many attempts to convince her to go, she continued to sleep in and eventually got in trouble for truancy and her family members threatened to take her to juvenile court. Her grandmother took her in from her mom's because her mom couldnt get her to school. This was the point where her phone was taken away, most of our communication was cut, we only got to talk during school hours and sometimes really late at night when she would go on the computer, things were rough approaching valentines day as we were both missing each other greatly, we took every chance to be affectionate to each other at least i did, it wasnt until the 11th that i noticed she was being distant. A lot of drama was going on in her life, she mentioned something about her dad and how her weekend sucked but wouldnt tell me. On the 13th i sent her some special gifts a sweater of mine that she liked, a picture of me, and a note that we had agreed to give with every gift. (shes supposed to receive them today or tomorrow).
On valentines day is when everything happened, she invited me to a chat room to talk to one of her friends boyfriends whom we didnt get along with, things got heated and he said some strange things about me and my girlfriends relationship asking "when are you going to tell him?" and stuff like that, i realized something was up and IMed her asking what was wrong, at this point she told me she couldnt do the distance anymore, but she still loves me and wanted to just be friends, ( she had told the friend and she told the boyfriend) she barely talked about it at all, not even giving me the chance to discuss it with her before i she said "its over" and logged off, she also told me not to delete our facebook status which was strange. Also i was actually going to full out confront her that night about why she was acting distant, but obviously i didnt get the chance, i didnt tell her i was going to either.
The next day rolls around and i text her in the morning saying something like "i love you and want to be your friend, but i need to talk about this whole thing in he future." at which point she said "I love you and i always will, i just dont want to date you anymore". She told me that day i could delete the facebook status, the reason was that she didnt want to get grounded more because she was talking to me (she wasnt supposed to be), thing is when she told her grandmother not only did she give my girlfriend her phone back, but she also said she was "beginning to turn her life around", her grandmother had been saying that my girlfriend would be ungrounded when she "began to turn her life around". Her family didnt like me even though i was always there for my girlfriend when they treated her like trash, i encouraged her to stay out of trouble and all my intentions were good, and the fact that she got her phone back right away, one of the things that made everything so hard for us to communicate, it leads me to believe they just didnt like me and it was all a ploy to make this happen. That afternoon she texted me out of the random and just started talking casually like nothing happened.
Anyways that night i talked to her on IM about the break up some more, just mostly things i needed to hash out, i asked if she knew how i was feeling and she said "a lil sad?" at which point i told her i was more than a "lil sad" a lot more. She told me that she had been thinking about breaking up for a week and needed more time to think about it, but was certain now. She told me that she wasnt hurting at all, even though she still loved me, which is contradictory and made me feel even worse. After that i told her i wanted to be friends and would still like to meet her in the future (we were supposed to meet in april) and she said she like that too as friends. She proceeded to tell me that she just wants to be friends, but she doesnt want to lose me, i told her i didnt want to lose her either but it was gonna be really hard for me so i told her to be patient with me, that id be her friend now but it would be strange for me. (throughout this whole conversation she was acting weird, giving really short answers meanwhile i was sending paragraphs, she didnt usually send long messages, but this was weird)
Next day i text her in the morning with a casual conversation and start then i start talking about how i was scared to start again because she made me so happy that i was afraid of how i would see the world now (i didnt actually say that i just sad i was afraid of how id see the world now, because i know id see it differently). She gave me a short response of encouragement. then i explained how i appreciate the fact that she acknowledged what happened and i thought it was healthy to, she got annoyed saying how i kept bringing up the break up how it was "daily news now" (wth? it was 2 days ago.) then when i got sort of defensive she just said she was gonna go. At the end of the day i decided it was better if she gave me time so i texted her saying i knew if i kept talking about what happened it would ruin our friendship and i didnt want to lose her and that i needed time and asked her to not talk to me for a few days and to call me when she gets her gifts. The next day she said that she wanted to do that too and that she wasnt going anywhere. At which point i told her that i loved her and if she wanted this then i wanted it too, and i hope everything works out for her and that shes happy and that ill always be here for her, then i said we can conitnue with the plan. Despite the lack of enthusiasm in her response, the fact that i told her this made me really happy.
So i should be getting her call either today or tomorrow and im kind of pissed off about everything, she was thinking about breaking up for a week but didnt talk to me about it, her family used me like a bargaining chip, she didnt give me a proper apology and is being cold even though she says she still loves me?
Why is she acting like this? She doesnt want to talk about it or anything, she says shes not hurting? In fact she said she was calm, part of me believes, or wants to believe shes in denial of what happened and just doesnt want to realize it. I dont know what to do, i want to act normal when she calls me but even though i think ive accepted it, i still want her back and am still sort of angry, part of me wants to give her an ultimatum, but i love her and dont want to lose her even if she is a friend. I think shes just being inconsiderate of how im feeling, even if she does have a lot going on in her life right now she shouldnt just push me aside, i have no idea how to go about this situation.
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