Teens Feel like my boyfriend doesn't care about me

[ladyshadow]

For a while now I have been feeling like my boyfriend doesn't care about me. Lately he's been working a lot and I understand that he can't talk to me while he's at work, but he doesn't even contact me after work. I remember he used to all the time, but then I started to have rehearsals for a play that I'm in so sometimes I would be busy when he called (but that was if he was working 12 hours) so we would just text instead. Now he doesn't even contact me at all and he used to tell me goodnight before he went to bed, but he doesn't do that anymore either.

I tried breaking up with him earlier this month (through text), for a similar reason, but I ended up changing my mind because I love him to much and later he replied saying "sweetie? do you still love me?" and I replied saying that I did, but I wasn't sure if he did and he said that he did with all his heart so that's how that went down.

I hope I'm not overreacting, but this how I've been feeling and I needed to vent. I posted another thread saying that I don't know if I could handle long distance anymore and this is why.

[Deleted]

Hello, Yea I know exactly how you feel, I would honestly recommend giving him some space, and I know its hard to do that but just give him his room and I know you guys aren't talking as much as you use to but if he starts to realize that the relationship is starting to fade or the love between you guys are and he will make the move to improve the relationship. Do you call him out when he doesn't do these things for you? Do you feel like your having to do more and more and hes doing less and less? Also how is it different from then and now, not just that hes doing less but how is the conversations going and what not, sorry for the questions but I think it will help me better understand the problem. Stay strong :-)

[ladyshadow]

Hello, Yea I know exactly how you feel, I would honestly recommend giving him some space, and I know its hard to do that but just give him his room and I know you guys aren't talking as much as you use to but if he starts to realize that the relationship is starting to fade or the love between you guys are and he will make the move to improve the relationship. Do you call him out when he doesn't do these things for you? Do you feel like your having to do more and more and hes doing less and less? Also how is it different from then and now, not just that hes doing less but how is the conversations going and what not, sorry for the questions but I think it will help me better understand the problem. Stay strong :-)

I do feel like I'm having to do more, like texting first a lot more and when we text he will only reply a few times then stop replying, but our phone conversations are the same and we haven't been on Skype in forever but I would say because he's been working and it's hard to find the right time to Skype. and I don't exactly call him out, but I try telling him how I feel and stuff.

[Black_Halloween]

Uh.....instead of playing games why not just..oh..i don't know...TELL HIM? Crazy...I know...communication is so old school. :P

[Deleted]

Well, what does he say when you tell him how you feel? Does he just say oh I've been working more so I can't find that much time to talk to you?

[Deleted]

Its not a game....And she has already told him how she feels so simply backing up and letting him have some space isn't a game, its sometimes necessary to give each other space in the relationship even though you guys are so far away you can still be too clingy...

[Brieasaurus]

and I don't exactly call him out, but I try telling him how I feel and stuff.

Here's your problem. A lot of guys aren't the brightest and don't pick up on clues. If you want this to work, you need to tell him that you two need to talk and have a mature conversation on how you're feeling and how you can fix things (set skype dates, designated time to talk, etc). I think you should also really think about your relationship because breaking up with someone through text just because they're working and not paying attention to you doesn't exactly scream committed. Working twelve hours a day sucks so try to cut him a bit of slack.

[rubydissolution]

Here's your problem. A lot of guys aren't the brightest and don't pick up on clues. If you want this to work, you need to tell him that you two need to talk and have a mature conversation on how you're feeling and how you can fix things (set skype dates, designated time to talk, etc). I think you should also really think about your relationship because breaking up with someone through text just because they're working and not paying attention to you doesn't exactly scream committed. Working twelve hours a day sucks so try to cut him a bit of slack.

This so this! Speak up get it out! NOT VIA TEXT! I can't tell you how impersonal it is to have a serious conversation over text. I can't imagine breaking up with someone over text. That had to sting him a lot. If you loved him as much as you claim to you wouldn't have attempted to break up with him that way. (Sorry that struck a nerve). You have got to back off and cut him some slack like Brie said. I mean face it, you started dating in June, your honeymoon phase is well since passed. I'm not saying its ok for him to slack on some things, but its gonna happen. Now considering you both lead busy lives and you yourself said that you would be at practice when he called, wouldn't you get frustrated and just stop trying? Maybe you should call him and be ok with that. I think we girls have this issue, where we think if our man doesn't contact us first he doesn't care. Its why we play the "i'm not gonna text him all day" game, or the "I'm gonna wait for him to call first" game. That's all they are games. Talk to him and sort it out or find someone who will pay you all the attention you seem to want.

[ladyshadow]

Well, what does he say when you tell him how you feel? Does he just say oh I've been working more so I can't find that much time to talk to you?

Well usually i don't get a response because I text him this stuff after he goes to bed which I know isn't really a good way to communicate about how I'm feeling and it only gets me frustrated when I wake up and see that he didn't answer :o

[ladyshadow]

Here's your problem. A lot of guys aren't the brightest and don't pick up on clues. If you want this to work, you need to tell him that you two need to talk and have a mature conversation on how you're feeling and how you can fix things (set skype dates, designated time to talk, etc). I think you should also really think about your relationship because breaking up with someone through text just because they're working and not paying attention to you doesn't exactly scream committed. Working twelve hours a day sucks so try to cut him a bit of slack.

I know that break up thing I did wasn't good, but that's why I changed my mind

[ladyshadow]

This so this! Speak up get it out! NOT VIA TEXT! I can't tell you how impersonal it is to have a serious conversation over text. I can't imagine breaking up with someone over text. That had to sting him a lot. If you loved him as much as you claim to you wouldn't have attempted to break up with him that way. (Sorry that struck a nerve). You have got to back off and cut him some slack like Brie said. I mean face it, you started dating in June, your honeymoon phase is well since passed. I'm not saying its ok for him to slack on some things, but its gonna happen. Now considering you both lead busy lives and you yourself said that you would be at practice when he called, wouldn't you get frustrated and just stop trying? Maybe you should call him and be ok with that. I think we girls have this issue, where we think if our man doesn't contact us first he doesn't care. Its why we play the "i'm not gonna text him all day" game, or the "I'm gonna wait for him to call first" game. That's all they are games. Talk to him and sort it out or find someone who will pay you all the attention you seem to want.

I guess you do make a point there, but like I said to brie, the break thing wasn't a good idea so that's why I changed my mind. Plus it's hard for me to try to speak up because then I get all nervous and start stuttering .-. plus I'm going to be going somewhere this week where I probably won't get to text a lot so I guess that will the time that I get to cut him some slack