Teens Has anything like this ever happened to you?

[ladyshadow]

So today in one of my classes my teacher was talking about how technology ruins people and made a comment about having a boyfriend/girlfriend that you met online and how it was kind of sad if you haven't met them in person. Everyone in the class except me laughed. The girl who sits next to me (who knows about my LDR because one day in class my friend asked me if I was going to get anything for my boyfriend on Valentine's Day and the girl was like "You have a boyfriend?" and I said "Yeah but he lives in Kentucky" so that's how this girl knows) turned and looked at me, but I looked away and then she asked if I met my boyfriend in person and I said no, but I have seen him on Skype numerous times, but I think she laughed when I said that. I'm not sure because I looked away. No one else heard though, but I was so upset after that. I'm not mad at the teacher though because wasn't her comment wasn't aimed at me, but I wouldn't have been upset if the girl hadn't said anything.

Has anything like this ever happened to any of you guys?

[kittyo9]

I know I'm not a teen (any more) and no, fortunately I haven't had this happen, but I do want to say that your teacher's comment was really ignorant and your classmate was no better for laughing. Do you know how big the online dating industry is? It's enormous, because more and more people are realizing that technology actually makes things better as opposed to ruining people. Online relationships do not fail any more often than CD relationships, and they provide the opportunity to get to know a wide variety of people before making a commitment.

The only thing I've ever had happen that was close to that was when I was at a seminar sort of thing about relationships and the speaker asked the audience to raise their hands if they were in an LDR. He then said that being in an LDR was reallyreally hard because it's basically as close to being single as you can get while still in a relationship... which is an okay statement, I guess, but I think he really missed the mark and undermined what most of our relationships are about.

[dragonlady]

never happend to me either, but i would talk to the teacher teach him for a change!
if it is a good teacher he wil listen etc is he is there for the money only he don't care wathever you say (sad but true)
hate it when people judge!

[Sora1101]

It happened to me just last semester in college during my Communications class. It totally sucks but you need to start learning how to let it roll right off of you. People who haven't been in an online relationship just don't understand them and therefore choose to poke fun.

[Gerwin]

I had this a few weeks ago at my upcoming university at a "Student for a Day" event and we talked about Facebook being important and about long distance relationships (because my course is 70% from foreign countries), and a Czech girl said she was in one and that it was a joke, because you focus on what happened in your life rather than things that happened together with the SO. I really wanted to make a comment, but as my relationship is not public I just sat down, but they all agreed that it's impossible and I felt like I was put down. Hope was gone for a moment, but after a while I accepted their opinion and knew I am happy with my SO, so I just ignored. It's difficult though.

[chizatlauren]

I live in a country where people are still a bit conservative and a lot of my friends are judgmental of online relationships. I've heard a lot of negative things from people around me and I just shrug it off, but silently I wish that more people will understand my situation and accept it. Maybe that's why I'm in LFAD, so I can feel that there are more people who are positive about my relationship than negative.

It sucks to live in a third world country.

[xdanniekay]

Hey! I'm sorry to hear that! I'm 17 & I have been in a LDR for 2 1/2 years and I just met him in person on Feb. 2nd!
This has happened to me & it was embarrassing & it made me so mad. At the time I didn't understand everything about LDR couples. I didn't realize that there are more people out there like me! I basically thought I was the only one to do this! It's sad, because people make fun of these relationships saying stuff like... You don't know them, or they could be rapist.
I hate when they think you are only O.K. if you date people in your town or city.... It makes me so sad. They don't understand.
I am so glad this site is here, it gives comfort to many people & a place that you know you will be understood.
And for the people who make fun of you, you just have to stand up and be like, hey... I'm not bound to this area & just tell me how it is. Make the people understand & shutup! Haha, I did!
Baby steps... There is SO much I want to say on this topic, but I just can't. So, hopefully you'll tell 'em how it is! Good luck ♥

[Tooki]

It didn't happen to me. Some wonder why I would put myself through the stresses of an LDR but that's it. Everybody else thinks that it's really cool.

[St0rm3d]

I've had a lot of people scoff when I told them that my boyfriend lived in another country. It's sad how they think that just because you can't see them right in front of you in person, that you can't actually be in love with them.

[writergirl15]

The thinking behind those who poke fun at or look down on LDRs - online or not - miss the whole point of dating. Their thinking is that dating is just for fun, which honestly is what a lot of people in general believe today. What most people have lost sight of, but people in LDRs base their whole relationship on, is that dating is about the people and the relationship. I've had so many people ask me why, as a teenager in high school, I'm still dating a guy I've seen three times in the past five or six years. (We've been together a year and a half.) From teens and adults alike - even married adults with kids and teens of their own! - I hear stuff like "Why don't you find a boyfriend here?" or "Aren't you interested in any of the guys in youth group?" or "Why do you want to date a guy in {insert country}?" Those comments betray the thinking that ridicules or assumes that LDRs won't work: that dating is about dating and fun and romance.* No. Dating is about the other person. You don't date to have fun, and those that do often find themselves going from SO to SO and having relationship trouble. You date to be with the other person, because you are interested in him or her, and you stick with it because your attraction grows and eventually you realize it's become love, real and true love.

When people focus on the true intent of dating - to get to know the specific person you're interested in - then so many of the problems in all relationships are solved, and so many of the pains of LDRs are that much more worth it.

*There are people who don't look at dating in general this way, but assume that teens who are dating live this way. To them, all I have to say is grow up and realize that there is such a thing as mature teenagers who live like the responsible adults they want to be. Just because most teen relationships don't pan out doesn't give you the right to assume a dating teenager knows nothing about love and will never be with the person they are now/think they'll be with.

[savysaur]

I had a teacher in school who once said everyone in a ldr isn't in a real relationship because you didn't get to see the person often, if at all (his notion of ldrs is that you're hundreds of thousands of miles apart from someone). All of my friends agreed with this and kind of pointed me out on the topic but I actually retorted against his claim. He wrote off ALL ldr's, so the first thing I brought up was milSOs and how their relationship just suddenly doesn't count and isn't 'real' because the other person might have been deployed or away for a different reason. Then I brought up how he met his girlfriend (which they were in a ldr, a low blow in some cases I know) and how he was a few hours away from her so they were technically in one and they don't count either because of this. He was mad at first during the class, but a few days later he brought up how I had made a point and it opened his eyes to the true definition of the term. Since that day, people started to ask and be more open to my choice to be in one, and it's fun getting to talk about the cute things we do (that are often more fun than the things my friends with SOs they see every day have!)

I know it's hurtful when people seem a bit close-minded in the subject and it's easy to be upset by it. But knowing that they may not understand or see the whole side of the situation is good to keep in mind. It's hard to understand the whole concept when the other people haven't experienced it. Just stay positive and don't let the people who don't understand get you down. Good luck hun!

[kmarie1293]

I've kind of had this happen to me. I know my Mom did not approve of me talking to someone who I had only met once and I know at first when I tell people they are very judgmental, especially now that he's further away than before. But you just have to remember, being able to cope with a long distance relationship is not something everyone is able to handle. So you should keep that in mind next time you feel down about your situation, you're doing something that a lot of people wouldn't dare to. And if it makes you happy, don't let anyone change that for you.

[BeccaCookie]

One of the worst moments I've had like that was when I was at a friend's house, and there were 16 of us there in total. We were playing Truth with an app on my friend's phone and one of the questions was "Would you ever consider an online relationship?", and none of my friends said yes. When everyone had to give a reason, some of my friends were nice, knowing of my LDR with a guy I met online, and simply said that it wasn't for them. Some, however, were very harsh and said things like "LDRs never work", "no one who you meet online is who they say they are" and as I was meeting my boyfriend for the first time a few days later, one friend went to the trouble of taking me aside to warn me how he is most definitely a paedophile and I would be lucky to escape from him without being raped or murdered.

When people don't have experience of a LDR, they fall into two categories: those who are open and don't judge, and those who think that your relationship is doomed and nothing can change their opinion. The most important thing is to not let the second category of people get you down. It's your relationship, no one else's, and if you are meant to be then you will be, regardless of distance

[ladyshadow]

Hey it's me. Just wanted to let anybody else who looks at this thread know that I am no longer in this relationship. My Ex SO and I were on the verge of breaking up due to our dwindling contact when I posted this and let me tell you a story, after this event happened I had texted him what happened. At the time I texted him he was at work so I knew he wouldn't answer right away, but I didn't even hear from him for the rest of the day or the next day and that weekend we ended up breaking up so yeah, but anyways I wish the best of luck to everyone who are still in their LDRs ^.^

[zo.bo01]

Oh god yes. My boyfriend and I started dating just before I moved and changed schools. Whenever I tried to make new friends, people kept asking me if I had a boyfriend (of course I would say yes, because I was happy in my relationship). Then one day, I was asked where he went to school. Having to explain that the first timew as awful, but I was pure mortified when someone asked me if I had ever met him. I sort of just danced around the question, but came out with "no". Suddenly, me having a boyfriend nearly 4,000 miles away was very isolating and I just felt bad about it. Eventually I told people we broke up to avoid it. He avoided it by just saying he wasn't dating anyone anytime he's been asked. That used to bother me, but not so much now I understand. There are a few others that I know irl who are in LDRs that have been online, and I feel like I relate to them the most. I even managed to have a teacher who is in one
You've just got to find how you're most comfortable.