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My LDR BF is friends with his ex, and it is crowding our relationship

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    Teens My LDR BF is friends with his ex, and it is crowding our relationship

    So, I'm in a LDR and I have been for almost a year with a guy that I'm really in love with. My only problem is that he spends a lot of time with his ex, and she's been his friend before and after their relationship, but after they broke up, they distanced themselves for a while, which was when I met him and fell in love with him, etc. A few months back, she came around, and while I trust him, I'm really uncomfortable with them spending so much time together. Currently, he doesn't have a phone because of expenses, which is understandable, but when we do get to talk, if she's around, she's always distracting him. Part of this bothers me because whenever his other friends are around, they let us have our time, but she just doesn't know how to let us have some time to talk. And it's not as if she's a new friend, he's known her for a long time, so she's one of those friends that can entertain herself while being over. This last situation was a few days ago when he was hanging with her. She kinda made a point to get online and message me, telling me that they were hanging out. Quickly after that (realizing that I was online) he got online himself and started to talk to me, but she kept distracting him, doing things that physically disabled him from typing. (She's done this when we were on the phone before.) It's just frustrating.

    The reason it's so difficult for me to just express that it makes me uncomfortable is because the reason he has her over so often is because he's one of her few close friends and she recently just got released from the hospital after a suicide attempt, so she's pretty fragile emotionally. I think it would be a bit harsh for me to say, "Hey, can you tell her to go away? I know she's depressed, but she's going to have to occupy herself with something else." But even if he's doing this to be nice for her and to take care of his friend, I really don't like that this is putting a damper in an already difficult situation for us, but again, I wouldn't want to ask him to do something like that, not only because I'm sure he wouldn't for his friend's sake, I also wouldn't want to do that to her. I'm just so confused, and I'm not sure if I'm being selfish or what. What do I do?

    #2
    Honestly, what she is doing is just rude and disrespectful not just to you but more importantly to her friend, your BF. Just because she is/has been treated for depression doesn't give her a free pass. I would suggest you speak to your BF about him having a talk with her regarding her behavior when he is talking to you. He doesn't need to be mean or harsh or rude...Just set boundaries. You can even casually mention it to him on convo right after she acts out...something along the lines of "Hey SO, why does X do that? None of your friends act rudely like that when we are talking. It makes it difficult to talk to you when we already get little time and when it happens lately, it frustrates me to the point I really don't enjoy the conversation I am trying to have with you." And see what he says. If he doesn't think it's an issue, then it's something you will have to deal with until it stops or you can't anymore.

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