Teens We never met but we're "in love"

[JaviLee]

My bf Javier and I are in a LDR. We met online in early January and made things official February 18th. Yeah, pretty fast I know. But things just really clicked. It sucks that we live in different states but we do plan to meet one day in the future. My friends know about him and support me. But recently an online ex told me he found out javier is really 14 instead of 19. I asked javier about it and he swore he wasn't 14. Later he told me the truth is he is really 18 not 19 and swore on his mother who isn't alive that he is in fact 18. I don't know what to believe.
He promised he will never hurt or lie to me because he loves me.
I will be really hurt and feel stupid if he's 14 because I'm 19. I want to tell my older sister and father about him in hopes to meet him in person but im afraid of humiliation if he lied about his age. They will already think im crazy for being in a relationship with someone I met online.
What should I do or how should I go about it?

[kittyo9]

Is there a reasonable way he can prove to you that he is, in fact, 18? Maybe not so far as to ask for his birth records (lol), but maybe some verification from a school he's attending or a place he works? If he wants to be with you and trusts you, he should be willing to be completely honest with you.

[lademoiselle]

I like kitty's idea. Other than that though, have you seen each other on webcam? While it is of course possible for people to look older or younger than they are, your appearance can change a fair bit from year to year when you're in your teens. Maybe try asking him to Skype (if you haven't already), and if he seems reluctant or makes excuses perhaps he does indeed have something to hide.

[dragonlady]

sorry this made me laugh for a moment an 14 year old that is lying he is 19? that is a first for me in that order!
like the others sad ask him to skype and what if he is 14? would you love him less? don't think so, only you have to be very patience!!! and don't do anything before he considerd adult if he is in fact 14! (you know what i mean )

[Belle]

Definitely Skype with him BEFORE telling your parents. Its a good idea to get to know him and what he's about, before getting too serious and deciding to go visit him anyway.

[PlaguesLullaby]

I say skype , oovoo something with a video chat .. pictures can tell lies. So a live video steam might help to see if hes really 18 and not 14. And if he drives ask to see his Drivers L, or a photo ID

[jennifer]

like everyone else i advice u to SKYPE with him and once uve seen him im sure u can make out whether he's 14 or 18.. coz it is really a serious issue... if he's 14 then things may get complicated between u both so its better u video chat with him and clarify ur doubts abt his age!!!

[chizatlauren]

Just like the others. SKYPE is the key. My SO and I haven't seen each other in person too... He's 19, I'm 21, age doesn't matter. But what I did to prove his identity was for him to show me his Social Security ID, his school ID, birth certificate, ATM cards, everything that can prove his age and name. In the end he let me talk to his own mother when we were already falling for each other so his mom can attest that everything he said about himself was true. It's easy to lie and be lied to online, so be wary my dear.

On my part, I showed him my Passport, NBI clearance, I let him talk to my mom on Skype too, and I showed him my company ID and told him where I work. So yeah, if you REALLY want to make sure that he's not faking anything about himself, you have to ask him to show you some proof in Skype.

[JaviLee]

Thanks for all the advice. Unfortunately Javier and I are no longer dating :/ He wanted too much of me too quickly. I couldn't be what he wanted me to be so, he left.

[snow_girl]

[Deleted]

If you're going to be in a relationship with him, he should be honest with you. However, how reputable is this 'online ex'? I'd be questioning whether he was trustworthy or not.