Teens To close?

[kikyo]

Hi, I need some advice.
Im 17 and my boyfriend is 21, we've been together for almost a year.
He was tagged in a FB picture, him at a party, so I went to that album to see if there was more pictures of him. And I found two pictures I didn't like. There was a girl sitting on his lap. Should I tell him I don't like this? Or is this normal? It's not a close friend of his. Would it bother you?

[Kristin91]

If it bothers you just tell him. Relationships are built on communication. So communicate.

Also, something I just wasn't sure about- you're not good friends with your SO even though you've been dating for a year?

[kattermole]

I think she meant that the girl on his lap wasn't a close friend of his!

[Mine13]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that... You should definitly talk to him I wouldn't like that as well, I think nobody would. As your boyfriend, he should understand you and explain everything.

[Kristin91]

I think she meant that the girl on his lap wasn't a close friend of his!

Oh thanks for clearing that up for me!

[alittlemind]

I don't think that is normal at all. He's your boyfriend and if him being too close to other girls bothers you, then let him know, it's a possibility he just didn't realize that it would bother you. Ask him about it, but don't accuse him of anything. Perhaps it was just a random picture that the girl jumped into and didn't think anything of sitting on his lap? It could be a number of things. Just ask him about the picture and see what he says. My boyfriend knows how insecure and jealous I can be and I am not okay with that sort of thing at all. I've made it clear what I do and don't like and so far he's respected that. I would just have a talk with him and see how it goes. Best wishes

[ST25]

If it's not a close friend, then that's definitely something I would ask about. You can also let him know that it's not making you feel okay when he's letting these strange people sit on his lap like that. Was the picture suggestive, by the way?

[Goyangi]

If it matters to you, then it matters! Something like that would DEFINITELY make me insecure, and it would eat away at me if I didn't talk to my SO about it. I, personally, would bring it up in a non confrontational kind of way, and give him a chance to communicate the situation. And if the picture still made me uncomfortable after talking to my SO about it, then I would tell him so.

[ThePiedPiper]

I would let him know your feelings on it but I think a lot of it is contextual. Is it a suggestive and flirty photo with someone he just met? Was it a huge party or was it a party in which everyone was connected in some way? Was his behaviour that night continuous or was it simply a photo? I know you can't know the answer to the last question without talking to him, but all I can say is that people take silly photos at parties. I know from when my friends post pictures of parties they've been to, a lot of the time they sort of have a flirty vibe to them even though it's nothing more than fooling/goofing around. I would talk to him about it, though. Don't accuse him of anything and don't tell him something like "I didn't like that. Don't ever do it again." Saying something more along the lines of "I found this picture *sends URL* Who is this girl? I was looking through the album, and I know that this probably doesn't mean anything, but I'm feeling a bit silly and insecure right now " can often defuse the tension in a potentially uncomfortable situation. A lot of the time, these things turn out to be nothing, and they're nothing a little reassuring can't fix, hence why I recommend a more playful approach or at least taking responsibility for your own feelings as opposed to approaching him like he did something wrong.