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Feelings are fading from her side ..

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    Teens Feelings are fading from her side ..

    I have a long distance relationship with my gf (1400 kilometres).
    I love her, she loves me, we've been together 8 months soon and the distance have never really been a big problem, not effective on feelings at least.
    Lately me and my gf have been arguing, all the time, not now, but the past four weeks. We are done arguing now.

    What the problem is, is that we talked last night, and she told me that she was confused on her feelings and she said that they are fading more and more because of the distance and time.
    We see each other each holyday and sometimes in long-weekends, but we have to take planes, and it costs a lot. About 400-600$ with return. We save work and save up money, to see each other.

    I don't know what to do now, what we can do to keep the feelings up. My feelings are good, but her feelings isn't on the top. We will meet again in 2 weeks now and she is staying with me for the summer. I said that to her, that everything is going to be as normal in just two weeks. Then she said that she thought the feelings would start fading again when she leaves and turns home after the summer. I don't know about that.. It isn't like that on my side at least, and it is only now lately she have lost feelings for me, and it has never happened like this before. I think it is because we have argued so much for the past three weeks.. We have focused on only the negative, and probably had no time thinking about out relationship, because she run out with friends to start thinking about something else when she is sad or annoyed.

    Also her father said she should break up with me, because she has older boy friends than me, and he is scared that she cheats on me. So to prevent she cheating on me, he wants her to break up, or stop visiting her friends. She almost have only boy friends because her past was a little harsh and she has kind of a boymind. Of course she don't want to drop me or her friends because of that, but i don't know what i can do about all this.

    Please reply to what i am writing! I am kind of desperate of ideas to what to do and everything. What we could try to do to freshen up the feelings, what we can do with the issue with her father etc. I will do everything i can to fix everything. I love her with all my heart and she loves me back, i just think she is a little confused now.
    What do you think guys, girls? Gratefull for good answers !

    #2
    This is a situation which I can definitely relate to; I have been in a similar LDR with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now. Your biggest challenge will always be that you can't provide the physical comfort for her that she needs when you are away. For guys, it isn't so important. We want to feel loved, important. Attractive. And we can get that a lot easier than girls who want physical company, emotional support, etc.
    dependant on how loyal your girlfriend is, and how trusting you are, will affect how much she uses her male friends as a support network for this kind of thing. I don't think there is anything wrong in her being able to spend time with them, hug/ cuddle them, have healthy friendships with them, as long as their intentions are good and she does not mistake her emotional needs for love, and end up cheating on you.
    Remember that her dad will know her better than almost anyone else, because she is his daughter, and he will be a good judge of character. You are still young, and a LDR involves a lot of commitment. So I expect he is trying to look after the pair of you in his advice to her. Perhaps he doesn't believe she will remain loyal, or perhaps he doesn't want to see the distance make her unhappy.
    Making the distance easier involves good communication. Skype and FaceTime are good (FaceTime tends to give a smoother quality) but remember that whilst they may fulfil your needs, they don't always fulfil hers. If phone calls are affordable, they can be an intimate alternative. Try recording little 30 second videos of your daily life and encourage her to do the same. Ultimately though, the only way you are going to be Able to maintain the distance is to make plans to move close to her on a more permanent basis. Again I say, you are young. Keep a realistic timeline.

    Ben

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